A friend sent this to me today. If I'm honest with myself I can truly say that I often wish I could get even more credit than what I'm ever given. I am a selfish, proud person. Sometimes I even deceive myself into thinking that I am not this selfish. I have to do an attitude check on a daily basis.
Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my concerns. See if there is any offensive way in me; lead me in the everlasting way. ~Psalm 139:23-24
I'm invisible.....
It all began to make sense, the blank stares, the lack of response, the way one of the kids will walk into the room while I'm on the phone and ask to be taken to the store. Inside I'm thinking, "Can't you see I'm on the phone?"
Obviously not. No one can see if I'm on the phone, or cooking, or sweeping the
floor, or even standing on my head in the corner, because no one can see me at
all. I'm invisible. Some days I am only a pair of hands, nothing more: Can you fix
this? Can you tie this? Can you open this? Some days I'm not a pair of hands; I'm
not even a human being. I'm a clock to ask, "What time is it?" I'm a satellite guide
to answer, "What number is the Disney Channel?" I'm a car to order, "Pick me up
right around 5:30, please."
I was certain that these were the hands that once held books and the eyes that
studied history and the mind that graduated summa cum laude - but now they
had disappeared into the peanut butter, never to be seen again.
She's going! She's going! She's gone!
One night, a group of us were having dinner, celebrating the return of a friend
from England. Janice had just gotten back from a fabulous trip, and she was going
on and on about the hotel she stayed in. I was sitting there, looking around at the
others all put together so well. It was hard not to compare and feel sorry for myself
as I looked down at my out-of-style dress; it was the only thing I could find that was
clean. My unwashed hair was pulled up in a banana clip and I was afraid I could actually
smell peanut butter in it. I was feeling pretty pathetic, when Janice turned to me with
a beautifully wrapped package, and said, "I brought you this." It was a book on the
great cathedrals of Europe. I wasn't exactly sure why she'd given it to me until I read
her inscription:
"To Charlotte, with admiration for the greatness of what you are building when no one sees."
In the days ahead I would read - no, devour - the book. And I would discover what
would become for me, four life-changing truths, after which I could pattern my work:
1. No one can say who built the great cathedrals - we have no record of their names.
2. These builders gave their whole lives for a work they would never see finished.
3. They made great sacrifices and expected no credit.
4. The passion of their building was fueled by their faith that the eyes of God saw
everything.
A legendary story in the book told of a rich man who came to visit the cathedral while
it was being built, and he saw a workman carving a tiny bird on the inside of a beam.
He was puzzled and asked the man, "Why are you spending so much time carving that
bird into a beam that will be covered by the roof? No one will ever see it." And the
workman replied, "Because God sees."
I closed the book, feeling the missing piece fall into place. It was almost as if I
heard God whispering to me, "I see you, Charlotte. I see the sacrifices you make
every day, even when no one around you does. No act of kindness you've done,
no sequin you've sewn on, no cupcake you've baked, is too small for me to notice
and smile over. You are building a great cathedral, but you can't see right now
what it will become."
At times, my invisibility feels like an affliction. But it is not a disease that is erasing
my life. It is the cure for the disease of my own self-centeredness. It is the antidote
to my strong, stubborn pride. I keep the right perspective when I see myself as a
great builder. As one of the people who show up at a job that they will never see
finished, to work on something that their name will never be on. The writer of the
book went so far as to say that no cathedrals could ever be built in our lifetime
because there are so few people willing to sacrifice to that degree.
When I really think about it, I don't want my son to tell the friend he's bringing home
from college for Thanksgiving, "My mom gets up at 4 in the morning and bakes
homemade pies, and then she hand- bastes a turkey for three hours and presses
all the linens for the table." That would mean I'd built a shrine or a monument to
myself. I just want him to want to come home. And then, if there is anything more
to say to his friend, to add, "You're gonna love it there."
As mothers, we are building great cathedrals. We cannot be seen if we're doing it
right. And one day, it is very possible that the world will marvel, not only at what we
have built, but at the beauty that has been added to the world by the sacrifices of
invisible women.
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• Sep. 14, 2007 - Untitled Comment
Please pray for me that I will find God's will for my home & my self will is removed out of the picture. Pray that I"ll let God be seen in my life, even if it does look like I am being overlooked. Just pray that God gets the glory. Blessings, Traci