Wakato Academy

Its a BOY!!!

It's official were having a bouncing baby boy in december.  Everything looked good on the ultrasound so were hoping for smooth sailing from this point forward.  Now to gather as much information as I can on VBAC's and child-proof, child-proof, child-proof....

Childproofing....

I was always one of those moms that thought it was better to teach them what they could and could not have than it was to put everything away.  Afterall it taught them self-control right?  Well apparently God thought I needed to challenge my hard and fast way of thinking so he got the bright idea to go ahead and let me have that baby I had dreamed about but this time x2, yeap you guessed it, twins.  I fretted for 9 months about those twins and how I was going to handle them and then they got here and well I can't say its easy always having two at your feet but what I can say is that somehow God gives you the grace to survive the double screams, the double trouble and even throws in an extra helping of double blessings when you have two around the house.  But recently in his typical sense of humor god has decided that maybe 2 wasn't enough, so were having a 3rd.  Yeap you heard me right, my twins are barely 15 months old and number 4 is on its way.  So we're going to have a total of 3 under 2 in about 4 months.  So out the window goes my old addage about needing to teach them because as the two have taught me, there is a limit to what I can do and teaching 3 little toddlers the meaning of no at the same time on opposite sides of the room isn't one of them.  So I am ultra child-proofing my house.  Locks on everything, nothing breakable out, sliding electrical covers everywhere, all blind cords wound up tight and fences around my entire family room to create a giant play-pen.  There bedroom contains nothing but wall to wall beds, electrical covers on all outlets and locks on the closet with a gate across the enterance to deter little adventurers.  No dressers, no nice decorations just bare walls with beds....  So onto the rest of the house we go protecting my sanity and my little ones lives one room at a time.

Facing My Demons

Today is my day to face my demons.  At least some of them.  I have an appt at the High Risk Pregnancy Specialist in 5 hours and counting.  If you've had an emergency c-section you might understand what I am talking about but right now I am having a really tuff time getting up the courage to go back in that office.  My last experience was so horrible, its like I went into labor and within hours my life completly flashed before me and died becuase from that moment when I became no longer a person but a thing carrying babies my life has never been the same.  And thats when it all started.  The spiral, the pain, the hurt and the agony.  The crying out to god night after night for some glimmer of hope with none in sight.  Its hard to explain for those that weren't there that didn't share in all the events that took place from that moment until now. 

Of course it was much more than just a slice of a knife across my belly it was a spiraling downturn of events from that point forward that threw my life into an earth shattering oblivion.  But that was the turning point, that was when it all started and it had a significant contribution in the way the past 14 month of my life has played out.  And now I have to face those same dr's that started it all.  Somehow I have to figure out how to forgive them, I know I am capable but right now I would rather throw things at them.

God give me strength to endure and the power to forgive.  And Lord I know you can, you've done it before, bring beauty from the ashes.....Amen

Were Having a Baby!

Well its official we are having #4!  I was finally able to get into the dr. today and get my initial pregnancy screening.  It was a bit of a challenge getting an appointment becuase of insurance issues.  But today was "D" day and I made it there only by the grace of god.  Woke up this morning with a flat tire on our only car so it was a challenge but we did it. 

At my appointment they were able to find the heartbeat a strong 161 bpm.  That was comforting to hear.

Anyone who knew me during my last pregnancy knows that pregnancy for me is not something to be taken lightly.  We are a bit overwhelmed with all of this but we know that we have to follow gods plan and this baby is part of that plan. 

At the appointment I went over my medical history and did all the initial pregnancy work-up.  The dr. informed me that becuase of my history he won't be able to take care of me there and I would have to be referred to PPA (Phoenix Parenatal Associates) the valley's high-risk dr's.  They're the dr to go to if you are having multiple births or high risk complications as part of your pregnancy.  So I am being sent off to them.  My appt is on June 7th to meet with them for the first time with this pregnancy.  They were my providers during my last pregnancy so I am familiar with the staff already which is slightly comforting.

With the twins I had an emergency c-section that was horrible.  I am still trying to recover from the emotional trauma of that event.  I don't think I would have wanted any other dr performing the surgery I mean this team is the best of the best when it comes to pregnancy complications but they are dr's and they often forget the people aspect of this whole thing.  I am having emotional issues dealing with the facts of this situation like the fact that I will likely have to have a repeat c-section, that a VBAC is not highly likely and I am scared to death of that.  I will also likely be starting daily injections by the end of the month of a drug called Lovenox in order to prevent a re-occurance of the blood clots I had during my last pregnancy which also means weekly blood draws to check the medication levels becuase during pregnancy the changes that occur do to water retention and weight fluxuations affect the levels of the drug needed to be effective so it has to be checked weekly and adjusted periodically to adjust to the other changes taking place in the body. 

So thats where we're at.  I was so busy with other children and crisis's that I lost track of my period so we are unsure of exactly how far along I am but we have narrowed it down to likely be somwhere between 12-13 weeks.  I am sure they will be doing a U/S within the next month and I will have an official due date then but for now it looks like the first week of December.