This year I am going on a journey of self- discovery and God- discovery.
I have joined a step group in Celebrate Recovery for various issues in my past.
It's a scary step, opening my life up in a group of other women who also need to recover the years that the locusts have eaten and discover where God meant good to be brought forth
even out of the harm they have experienced.

 Tonight, Pastor Keith said something that really impacted me a whole lot. He said
 " Don't let the Devil rip you off twice."
 Some people say " once bitten- twice shy". They don't want to open themselves up to failure or hurt again after having been abused by people.

But looking at it in that way does not help you benefit from the pain you ave already gone through. it  is true that God never wastes a hurt.... Not letting go to watch for God's  hands turning it into His masterpiece prolongs the pain and gives it power over you.

That Enemy tried his best to mess me up and used even the church and their short-comings and traditions of men and their sins to do it... but he wins if I let it stay that way. That is not the end of the story. There is a resurrection waiting to happen, and a redeeming to be done and blossoms to fill the dead places.

I want the dark places frozen over with grief and shame, pain and anger and lonliness to break forth into spring, just as this earth is waking up in the season of green. What if the flowers were afraid to come up again? Without flowers, there can be no  fruit.

I want to be fruitful. The Gardeener has pruned me, not because He doesn't like me, or wants to hurt me, but  because he wants the growth to make the best fruit. He wants the best outcome cor me.
His commands are not burdensome. i believe that God is good and He is  in control. I love that about Him better than  almost any of His qualities.

I ain't gonna let that adversary have his way with me TWICE.
I'm running towward the LIGHT.