Friday, June 19, 2009 - Detour Through the Desert
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I am re-posting this for a friend. It was written by me on my other blog just about a year ago.
Many of us are in the desert this year..... not an easy place to be, but it can still be a good place, if we let our Shepherd lead us THROUGH it.
| Tuesday, June 10, 2008 |
| Detour Through the Desert |
She stopped dead and said to them, " We mustn't go down there. The Shepherd has called me to the High Places. We must find some path which goes up, but certainly not down there."...
Much-Afraid looked to the left and right, but though it seemed incredible, there was no way possible by which they could continue to climb upward....
"I can't go down there," panted Much-Afraid, sick with shock and fear. "He can never mean that-never! He called me to the High Places and this is an absolute contradiction of all that He promised."...
He looked at her and answered very gently, "That is the path, Much-Afraid, and you are to go down there."...
"No," said the Shepherd, " it is not a contradiction, only the postponement for the best to become possible."
"You mean,"..."you really mean that I am to follow that path down and down into that wilderness and then over that dessert, away from the mountains indefinitely? Why.... it may be months, even years before that path leads back to the mountains again. O Shepherd, do you mean it is indefinite postponement?"
"Much-Afraid, do you love me enough to accept the postponement and the apparent contradiction of the promise and to go down there with me into the desert?"
...with the Shepherd standing close beside her, she laid down on the altar her trembling, rebelling will. A little spurt of flame came from somewhere and in an instant nothing remained but ashes.
...she saw a little stone of some kind, a dark-colored, common looking pebble.
"Pick it up and take it with you." said the Shepherd "as a memorial of this altar which you built and all that it stands for."
"Much-Afraid", he said, "all of my servants on their way to the High Places have had to take a detour through the desert. It is called 'the furnace of Egypt' and 'an horror of great darkness'
(Gen 15:12, 17). Here they have learned many things which otherwise they would have known nothing about."
..."In Egypt too, I fashion my fairest and finest vessels and bring forth instruments for my work according as I see fit." ( Jer 18) Then he smiled and added, "Can I not do with you, Much-Afraid, as this potter? Behold, as the clay is in the hand of the potter, so you are in my hand."
( Isah 54:11) Then he added,"my rarest and choicest jewels and my finest gold are those who have been refined in the furnace of Egypt.", and he sang one verse of a little song:
I'll turn my hands upon thy heart,
and purge away thy dross,
I will refine thee in my fire,
Remake the at my cross."'
These words are from Hannah Hurnard's "Hind's Feet on High Places."
From the sixth chapter, entitled " Detour Through the Dessert".
If you have not read this book- I would highly recommend it!
It was a gift given to me at the very beginning of my life in Christ that has become a treasure to me. It was reading this at the beginning of my journey that helped me through the valleys, and the times I spent in the desert.
Times when:
My husband was verbally and emotionally abusive
My daughter almost bled to death
My son had a life threatening kidney infection
Money crises
mothering 4 children with special needs
spending Christmas and New Year's in the hospital because of pregnancy complications
leaving my baby in the hospital for 5 months because she needed surgery
Hearing the ignorant comments people make when they know your kid has Down Syndrome
Living in and out of the van in order to see her in Chicago
Hearing in the the hospital that she might have leukemia.
She had surgeries that did nothing but traumatize her because they failed.
My husband was suicidal, and so angry all the time, I was afraid
Watching my daughter die in my arms, as I tried to bring her back.
hearing all the stupid things people say when a baby dies- especially if they were handicapped.
becoming pregnant right after that and being scared to go through it all again.
Taking the kids and leaving my husband because of his untreated bi-polar
My husband at 28 had 90-95% blockages of all of his coronary arteries
watching him scream in pain after the surgery that saved his life
Being told that he would have to go through it again possibly every 5-10 years
and not grow old before he died.
Hearing that my children would probably end up the same way, maybe even earlier in life
Finding my husband passed out on the bathroom floor from double dosing his medicines because they were mislabeled, wondering if he would live through it.
Becoming homeless because of all the medical expenses
Watching my husband walk away from God, and become hostile
toward God and my church friends
Having a baby when I was homeless....
Moving in with my in laws without a job in a totally unfamiliar place
Taking my husband to the ER almost every month for chest pain
watching the strong man he once was fade away, replaced by someone who was sick and tired
Watching people disbelieve his heart condition because he looks strong and healthy
Going through our first winter in that state with everyone being sick for the majority of the year.
Finding out that my son had been molested by a teen neighbor-not once but several times
Moving 17 times in 15 years.
Having clinical depression- unable to feel that God is still there
Not wanting to even get out of bed, afraid to go to sleep because I would have to feel it again
Screaming inside because living, and going about normal activities caused mental pain
Hearing the dismissive comments of people blaming it on my own thoughts-( just as I used to do) because they have never been there.
Leaving a cult that introduced me the Jesus, and the tearing away of friendships when they all believe we are condemned to Hell for leaving the "one true church".
The desert is no fun. I hate the desert. But I love the one who is leading me there. He wouldn't shrink from death on a cross for my sake, and I will go where he leads because I know he loves me more than his life. Remembering what He has brought me through and the good he has done through it gives me hope for the future. He has not abandoned me. He is working for my good where I can't see it.
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About Me
Well, I'm a Mom, a Medical Assistant, a knitter, kite flyer, nature lover...Around here we have special needs, ( Asperger's, ADHD, Bi-polar) a few animal pals, some tattoos and a homeschool. It's our 6th year. This is my 16th year of marriage to a Mr. Visionary who happens to be a walking miracle.
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