First we weeded a neighbor’s rose garden. She does not get around as well as she used to, since a plow truck ran over her several years ago.

Our youngest found a garden snail while we were there, so we made a habitat in a jar for it when we got home.

A friend who saw the tarp on our roof (dormers are being put in) stopped in to see if we needed anything (he is a roofer).

We made the kids a grilled-cheese & tomato soup dinner (to be followed by popcorn and their own movies while we are out.)

Then we fed the barn.

Then the dogs got skunked.

Then my boys were interrupting me in the back recesses of my closet while I was looking for something to wear, because they wanted the BB gun (to hunt the skunk with.)

Then my daughter decided we were NOT going out without her.

Guess what? We actually made it out. It was 9:45 pm when we left. We reached civilization at 10:pm. Nobody serves food after 10:pm. -- not even nachos. So…we bought a bag of white corn chips and went home to make our own snack. We watched a movie comfortably in our living room, while the kids watched theirs on a computer (and another, on a laptop.)

I had a wonderful night!

We were returning from my niece’s wedding. We had a wonderful time. On our last day we stopped at the cemetery our six children. I had been to my sister’s grave twice already on this trip, but all the children hadn’t. It was upsetting to see them all standing near her stone. They all love her so much. I know I need to be thankful that they knew her. It is not so for my brother’s baby, or Dawn’s two grandchildren so far, or the others coming.

Then we went to visit my dad at the medical home where he lives. I know his family parents are ‘happy’ with the arrangements there, but every time I visit, his room is smaller. If it gets any smaller, it will be ridiculous. I think they make it great for a while until the residents and families are dependent on them, and then the glory treatment is over. I think his care is good: I just wish his room were bigger. Again, I need to just be thankful that it is a clean, well run, kind and caring place. Everyone there is great.

It is still just kind of tough to walk out of there and see your father as one of “those” people, in a wheelchair, bound to a building-- unless taken someplace. They say he falls sometimes. He has MS, but it developed later in his life (after 40). I wish him no ill-will. Those days are past me. His accountability is between him and God now. His daughter who lived nearby (and would have visited regularly) was murdered 18 months ago. Our problems are bigger now.

When I got home I threw on my boots and jacket and went straight out to the barn. My OTTB (Off Track Thoroughbred) and our black pony were there. I was very anxious to get back home when we were leaving NJ, and I think this new horse in my life had something to do with it.

I was in NJ six times after losing Dawn in that first year. Now I hadn’t been there in seven months. So, leaving and coming home was different. You don’t know until you do it. Going from the cemetery with the kids, straight to see my dad, and then leave for home was too difficult. I have to do it differently from now on. Convenience is not always the best route. We forget that we have emotions. I called my brother and left a message on his cell phone as we left. Thank God he is there, I told him. I call my Mom every night. Tonight, I will tell her: it was rough. It is good for us to share these things. It is support to know others hurt. She bears her burden every day, and better than all the rest of us put together. I don’t know how she does it. It must be faith.

Faith cannot be discounted in all of this. Without it, I would be MUCH worse off. And my husband is very supportive.

Now I have 8 weeks to be back home, homeschool the kids, keep the house up, maybe paint, and ride the horses…then it’s 2 weeks of preparation, vacation at VA beach and the travel involved from here (700 miles 1-way). Then I have 1-2 weeks back home until the murder trial begins in mid-September. So they say.

That is a whole different story. Right now, the house needs to be cleaned, and my kids are awaiting instructions. It’s raining, but my horses are tended to.

It’s the little things, the little blessings that we must hold on to. They are the handholds of life that keep us from falling into the pit of despair. The little blessings save us.

When I pulled up alone to Dawn’s grave on the morning of her daughter’s wedding, this song came on the radio: “I am alive, hey, hey, I am alive…”   Thank You, I said.

                              EVRY ONE I KNOW IS A ODD BALL

For attractive lips, speak words of kindness. For lovely eyes, seek out the good in people. For a slim figure, share your food with the hungry. For beautiful hair, let a child run his/her fingers through it once a day. For poise, walk with the knowledge that you never walk alone. People, even more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed, and redeemed; never throw out anyone. Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you will find one at the end of each of your arms. As you grow older, you will discover that you have two hands; one for helping yourself, and the other for helping others.

I seem to be hitting this blog about the same time every month, and it is not intentional! Our nice weather is so short; my computer time is really limited now as I spend almost all my spare time outside working. I have been horse training and we have baseball until mid-June.

We got word on the trial and it will begin September 8, 2008 in New Brunswick, New Jersey. It will be every Monday, Wednesday and Thursday for about 5 weeks.

My niece is getting married! It’s a June Wedding in New Jersey!! We will all be attending. She has asked my husband to read their vows for them and stand in the place of officiate.

Our grass is turning green but the tallest mountain still has snow on its peak.

After June we are planning on a week at Virginia Beach with my family at the end of August. Then it will be a short time until I head back to NJ for trial.

For now I am focused on the children and the horses and making the most out of spring. I still feel a piercing pain most of the time, but I think you learn to live with it rather than it just going away. I am definitely changed as a person: more assertive in many ways, and much more laid back in others. Priorities have changed.

My Mom, niece, nephew (18) and great-nephew! (20 mos.) visited last weekend. We had such fun before they even got here, pulling up toddler toys from storage! We all had a great time. I put a couple of horsey-fun pictures here.

I hope you all have a wonderful spring holiday, Resurrection Day!

  It's like Facebook for Homeschoolers!

                                 www.thehomeschoollounge.com

Here is the description from the founder, Tiany's blog:

• Create your own space
• Start or join discussions in our Forum
• Start or join a group
• Start a Blog or Promote an existing Blog
• Create a slide show widget of your pictures for your blog
• Photo Gallery
• Video Gallery
• Live Chat
• Invite other Homeschool Moms, friends and family
• Members only community ~ All members, all videos and pictures must be approved and only the front page of our site can be viewed by the public for the safety and comfort of our homeschool moms.

All homeschool parents can sign up to join the Lounge from the front page and from there they will be approved for full membership to view all pages of The Homeschool Lounge. As for invites, you can send anyone you want an invite by clicking on the tab that says "Invite" and also the people that join The Homeschool Lounge from your invite link will automatically be included in your list of "Friends" aka Lounge Sisters."


Let me know if you join; I'll go find you over there.

Thank you for the support! I see many of us have painting to catch up on. Of course-- it shows where our priorities are. We are homeschooling!

I want to share something that has to do with this blog: yesterday I read over my Noah Plan Principle Approach material from the Foundation for American Christian Education (www.face.net).

In the past, much of it was confusing to me. Yesterday, it was like a thunderclap to my brain. I wrote to Dana (Principled Discovery) that maybe I had to undergo pain and suffering to be able to get the gist of it! Perhaps my mind has been through a crucible.

I'm just a cowgirl, wrangling with and training horses and kids (and occasionally sending my husband out for a spin around the corral, too.) Scholarship in jeans, that works for me!