An empty window...what to put in it? My mind is swirling with lots of topics. It is so hard to settle my mind down and choose one. I should just go to bed, but I know all these things will only rotate 'round and 'round if I don't put them to rest in writing. Funny how little facts and details become ignormous (five year old boy's pronounciation) at night. Things that I can ignore during the day are impossible to be rid of when I am laying in bed. Things like organizing my dance folder and writing October's devotional before ballet classes start. Then figuring out how on earth to make my schedule work with all the things I am trying to stuff in it.  Wishing I had gotten around to making bread this morning. Wondering if my precious little sparkie boys behaved in school today.  Thinking about the horrific book review I read that made me desperately want to adopt every single child on the planet. Things like the numerous blogs I have read that have alternately made me laugh and  made my blood boil. Like Al Mohler's post on euthenasia and WMB post on the abortion of Down's Syndrome babies. (http://www.albertmohler.com/blog_read.php?id=2542 and http://online.worldmag.com/2008/09/25/a-selfish-choice-or-a-gift-from-god/)

Wow, that paragraph contained an impressive number of incomplete sentances.  Anyway...

Maybe it is my oldest-child-personality that so struggles with my inability to control all these details. I want to DO SOMETHING about all the things that I am thinking about tonight. I want to go to the far off reaches of everywhere and take care of all the babies that are unwanted, tuck in all the motherless little boys, and somehow change the minds of all these people that have such a low respect for the sanctity of life.  None of these things are within my ability to do tonight. I have always wanted to do "big things". My struggle is to say "Lord, this is not within the task you have given me for this moment Let me trust You with all the things that are too impossibly big for me to fix." Because truthfully,  everything is too big for me to fix. Why on earth do I feel like it is my personal responsibiblity to fix everything that is wrong? Sometimes I feel like Emma: "a young lady who knew how this world ought to be run."  God is sovereign, and for that I am thankful. He is wise, He is good, and He knows what He is doing in this sinful earth. No, that does not remove my responsibility to do what I can to make a difference, but it does remove my responsibility for the results.

So letting these things go into His hands tonight so that I can sleep.