Feb. 12, 2008 - Some More of Liam's Stash
Angi bought a bunch of stuff at Once Upon a Child when they had an awesome sale going on. She gave me some shirts that didn't have any matching pants so I could knit/crochet some to match. I finally got them all done.
My favorite is the Brown Baby Gap one with the blue striped, knit pants. These are all acrylic so she doesn't have to worry so much about how to wash them.
I'm still working on the Carriage Set. I have the back and left side down and just casted on to do the right side. Then, I need to make booties and a kimono sweater. I realized today how little time I have. Only about 4-5 weeks!
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Feb. 9, 2008 - Playin' & Workin'
I decided to get the little ones outside this morning and get some of their wiggles out. We actually had a few hours where it was somewhere near 30 degrees. Temps are supposed to drop drastically again tonight and we have wind chill advisories.
This is really not child labor. They're both having fun. 
Time for a little drink after all that work. Don't worry, I checked to make sure it wasn't yellow snow. 
So now after that lovely experience, I will be making the time to whip up some mittens with at least a foot long cuff that will go past Victoria's elbows, so that she can't pull off her mittens every 30 seconds, stick her hands in the snow and scream because she's too cold.
I had two sales yesterday, so I better get going and get them packaged up and ready to go. Then, I'll be making a chicken dinner for tonight's supper.
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Feb. 7, 2008 - A Day of Surprises and Laughs
I had a nice day. That might not be a big deal for most of you reading this. But, in the past year, the "nice" days have been few and far between, so when I have one, I really count my blessings.
I organized a bunch of stuff and now I get to make a much needed trip to the thrift store. While I was doing that, I realized Victoria was too quiet. That usually means trouble. I walked into the room to find this...
I was laughing so hard, I had tears running down my face. I haven't laughed that hard in many, many months. I know all kids do this. My other 3 did it too. But, for some reason, this just caught me funny. In the top pic she's putting on two hats. I think it was her trying to walk around wearing ONE of Zandria's shoes that had me laughing so hard. You would have had to see it I guess.
Someone I knew from our old homeschool group called me out of the blue. I don't think we've talked for almost 2 years. It was a nice long conversation. We talked kids, homeschooling, churches and everything else under the sun.
Once again, I was doing some house work and it was too quiet. Oh no, what are they into now!?
The craziest part about this is that they sat like that without pulling each others hair or hitting each other for over a half an hour!
I sat down on the couch this afternoon and I was having a hard time keeping my eyes open. Victoria was having the same issue. I layed her on my chest and reclined back and we both fell asleep for awhile. That was nice. She doesn't cuddle like that very often.
I was thinking about my Mom while I was sitting at work and the next thing I know, here she comes driving up. She said she was bored and wanted something to do. We ended up going to eat at a supper club called The Heiting Place. I completely blew my diet and ate loads of scallops, tenderloin, french onion soup and everything else that went with it. Victoria was an angel almost the entire time we were in there. We put the tray of appetizers in front of her and let her eat the cheese spread with a spoon when she got sick of dipping crackers in it. Hey, she was happy and that made me happy. What's the difference if the cheese is on a spoon or on a cracker? 
I have leftovers in the fridge for tomorrow. Yum!
I listed all of my new items at Mom's Boardwalk and in my own store Winsome What-Nots That was a chore! Whew! I feel like I've been at this computer all day long! I'm loving the new stuff I made to list. If I could buy my own stuff I would. Isn't that vain? 
Now I'm looking forward to climbing in a nice warm bed and getting some much needed rest. It's starting to get really cold again. I can feel it. My whole body aches. I'm a walking weather vain. I'm afraid to even try taking a pain reliever. Everytime I tried that before I started the Nexium, I felt like my stomach was going to work its way out of my body some how. I don't know how I'll react now that I'm taking the Nexium.
Check out my store tomorrow! If any of you have any feedback on anything, leave me a comment. Is there anything you'd like to see in my store? Etc.
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Jan. 30, 2008 - I Got a Ton Done on This Freezing Cold Day
I've had a pile of fabric sitting around to make stuff for Liam for awhile now. I got a nice big hug from Helen of Simcha's Jewels not too long ago. She sent me some really cool, flannel boyish fabrics to use for Liam. I made him a bunch of burp rags with flannel and cotton velour and 2 washcloths.
I made a large recieving blanket with two layers of flannel serged together.
I've had this fleece sitting around for a long time. I wanted to make my girls these blankets when they were babies and I never did. So, I'm pretty excited about this!
Then, Tabitha was playing with her Barbie and mentioned that she needed a blanket and pillow. She has a really nice stash of clothes that I got from Cammie who used to be in Fruitful Hands congo with me. She's wearing one of the outfits in this picture. I crocheted up a simply blanket and pillow with some plush yarn I had sitting around.
I even got a few loads of laundry done in the midst of all that. Maybe it was the cold. If I sat down, I got cold, so I decided to just keep working and keep myself warm.
This may sound silly, but I really think that acid reflux was wearing me down. I felt so rotten for so long and it was just getting worse. Now that I don't have pain almost every second that I'm awake, I feel like doing stuff. I've gotten back to using my elliptical trainer in the morning and I'm eating a lot better. The only things I could eat that didn't make me feel horrible were things that weren't exactly the healthiest things to eat. Now I can eat fruit again! That's a BIG deal for me. I couldn't even eat oatmeal without feeling a ton of pain. I still have some pain, but there's no reflux and the pain is tolerable.
Now that I feel like I actually accomplished something for a change, I'm going to put on some nice warm jammies, cuddle with the girls for awhile and work on Liam's Carriage Set for awhile.
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Jan. 30, 2008 - Snow Day!
Well, not exactly snow, per se. The temps were 40 degrees yesterday and the day before. This is this morning.
We not only have cold temps, but blowing snow, etc. BAD weather. It has to be bad if they called off school here. It's a very rare occurance.
Here's a pic of the window on my front door.
The snow that's out there is going to stay right where it is. If it ever warms up, then we'll shovel it. I was watching the news this morning and they had an anchorwoman standing outside. After a few minutes she said, "I'm sorry, but my face is completely frozen and I can't talk anymore." She actually walked away from the camera and they had to pan away from her. I've never seen a newsperson do that before. I think it's really dumb when tney make them do stuff like that anyway. Duh! It's cold. They dont' have to stand outside to tell us that.
We're staying in. Working on sewing, knitting, whatever. Probably drinking a lot of hot tea.
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Jan. 29, 2008 - And The Winner Is....
Helen!!!
Helen, send me an e-mail at WinsomeWhat-Nots@gmail.com and let me know which prize you would like. Thanks for playing everyone. It was fun!
The Carriage Set is working up beautifully! I can't wait to see the finished product, but I think it's going to take me awhile to get it done. I'll be sure to post pics.
Anyone else having this crazy weather? It was 40 degrees one minute and it will be down to -3 or something like that tonight. We had sleet, snow, rain...the works for a few hours this afternoon. They say blizzard like conditions with 0 visibility.
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Jan. 28, 2008 - The 38 Year Old Sweater
You would think there would have to be one treasure out of all the trash that we all dealt with, with moving my Mom and brother out of my parents house after my Dad died and seeing the house get smashed to the ground. Well, believe it or not...there actually was one cool thing that came out of that! Those of you who don't knit or crochet, might not get my excitement about this whole thing. When we were sorting through all the stuff when it was moved to the new house, my Mom found a bag with a little story behind it. Well, not really much of a story, but it's cool anyway. 
So what kind of treasure do you think is in this ugly, plastic bag?
What else, but an unfinished 38 year old knitted sweater that was supposed to be mine when I was a baby! Now I know where I get my ADD from! Look at how close she was to finishing it. All she had to do was some neck ribbing and sew it together. I'm going to finish it one of these days, but I'm pretty sure that it will be too small for Victoria. So, what will I do with the 38 year old sweater once it's finished if it's too small for my girls?
You can't see the price tag, but that sweater cost my Mom a whole .66 cents to make.
That ain't even the best part! Check out this pattern book! The pattern book has a ton of patterns and it cost a whopping $1.25. I love how these patterns are written. I wish the patterns nowdays were like this. They have options for sport, worsted and bulky weight yarns for all the patterns. The first pic is the front and back cover. I took pics of some of the patterns too.
I thought it would be fun to play a little game and bless someone with a free treasure like I was blessed with this treasure. The first person who can tell me which one of these patterns is currently on my needles AND who will be receiving the beautiful finished product will be blessed with a prize. You may choose from one of these three diapers.
Pink Stars Frugal Fanny Flannel
Yellow Butterflies Frugal Fanny Flannel
Valentine Hearts Frugal Fanny Flannel Prefold
OR you may choose any one of the acrylic soakers that I have in stock in my store. So...what do you think is on the needles?
Leave your answers in the comments section here on my blog and I'll keep checking back to see who has won.
Did you happened to notice what needles I'm using? That's another one of my recent blessings that has made me extremely happy! I bought these out of the Christmas money my Mom and Grandma gave me. They are the Knit Picks Options Harmony Interchangeable Set These things are going to get PLENTY of use. I am in love with them! I would have never spent so much money on myself if it wasn't for Christmas money. But, I can use these when knitting for my store too, so that makes me feel better about it. I'm a very frugal person, if you didn't know that already. Spending money is hard for me.
I'm looking forward to see what answers you all come up, who will win and what prize you will choose. Have fun guessing!
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Jan. 8, 2008 - In a Pit
I haven't posted about Christmas. I haven't even got the pics onto my computer yet. It seems one day runs into another lately. Honestly, I've been in sort of a black pit lately. I guess Christmas hit me kind of hard. A lot of things got me thinking about a lot of things and everything seems kind of overwhelming right now. ADD doesn't make it easy to take one thing at a time. My health is really overwhelming me at the moment. I have a physical appointment coming up in a few weeks and I know some of the results won't be pretty. I have a lot to work on. I got into my workout routine and was really proud of myself and then I came down with another cold. I can barely breathe, much less work out. It seems that I get ahead a bit and then something happens and I get behind two feet. I'm frustrated about a lot of things right now.
I've been crocheting up a storm! I'm not kidding either. Just wait until you see my next stocking. I think I have something like 12 soakers to list, plus some prefolds. I'm taking a break from sewing Frugal Fanny Flannels for awhile. I have some that I need to get done as part of a swap, but after that, I'm not sewing them for awhile. That's one of my frustrations at the moment. It's all a long story that's not worth getting into. I'm enjoying sewing prefolds right now. They probably won't sell, but at least I'm not having anger issues as I'm sewing them. I guess I'll have to make more boyish print prefolds. Then if they don't sell, Angi can use them for Liam's burp rags.
Speaking of Liam...I really need to make him something...anything. I want to knit him a kimono style sweater. Then, I have some pirate flannel that I need to make something, but I'm not sure what. I'll have to ask Angi. I just don't know what I can make him that she will appreciate using. Angi has a second ultrasound on Thursday to check on his kidney issue. I keep praying it's nothing serious.
I've been researching online schools for Tabitha and Zandria for next year. It took me 2 years, but I have finally come to the conclusion that is for sure what I want to do with them. I just got back from an information session for the school I'm most interested in and it sounds like it will be the one for us. So, unless something completely different comes up, we'll be using Wisconsin Virtual Academy
We're still waiting on the genetics test for Victoria. They said it would be about a month. That would be on the 11th. If they don't call me, I'll call them. She's been head banging like crazy lately. She is trying so hard to talk, but it just doesn't seem to want to come out and it frustrates her.
That's about all that's been going on around here lately. I figured I better give a quick update even if I don't have the Christmas pics ready.
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Dec. 24, 2007 - Determined to Get Healthy Again
I've been sick since my Dad died. Well, not continuously, but on and off. I got a terrible cold and sinus infection that started on the day my Dad was buried. Stress will do that to you when you don't care or have the time to take care of yourself. I haven't done much to really take care of me since then. It's not that I purposely set out to not care. I just didn't have the ambition. Honestly, I still don't. But, I know I need to. I bought an elliptical trainer from 2nd Wind about a month or so ago. I was using it a few minutes here and there. I was afraid of a big fibromyalgia flare up if I used it too much right away. I started using it for 10 min each morning last week. Something happened, and it's all loose and wobbly. I don't have any cash for someone to come look at it. I'm going to have to figure it out on my own this week. That is something I KNOW I will use daily. I just have to get up, throw some clothes on and get on and go. I don't have to do any fancy dance moves or think real hard at 5:30 in the morning.
I had to get antibiotics for a sinus infection last week. I knew it was coming. I haven't done anything to prevent it. I was barely sick last winter. I was really good about taking my supplements. Especially my Vitamin C. I drank a little bit of kefir with each meal. I'm convinced that the kefir and vitamin c are the two things that keep my sickness at bay. Yeast is a bad thing. Killing off the yeast with the kefir makes me feel like a whole new person. More energy and no sickness. I'm getting some new kefir grains in the mail from someone soon. I can't wait to get started again. I thought my sinus infection was pretty well cleared up, but I still sounded really stuffy. I just had a little clear mucous that I was blowing on and off. Then, yesterday I started feeling "gunky" at the back of my throat. It was driving me nuts all day. Just a warning...this is going to be really gross, but I want to talk about this for those of you who deal with chronic sinus infections. I got a Sinu Cleanse last year at the advice of my doctor. I did NOT want to use that thing. It scared me! But, I got into using it every night and I didn't have any sinus infections last year. So, last night I decided I needed to start using that again. I disgusted myself after using it. I was blowing my nose for at least a half an hour after using it. I can't even begin to tell you how much thick yellow junk I blew out. I had NO idea all that junk was still in there. I thought I was just a bit stuffy since I was just blowing clear junk. If I wouldn't have used my Sinu Cleanse, I would have been back at the doctor in a week or two with another infection. I used it again this morning and there is still some junk, but it's a lot less. So, the moral to this disgusting story is that if you get a sinus infection, go buy a Sinu Cleanse!!!
I have a physical appoinment in mid January. I know that my glucose level is borderline as well as my blood pressure. I'm hoping that I can get a good head start to get these things normal by the time I have my appoinment by using my elliptical every day. I'm also taking more time to go through my healthy cook books and I'm going to make up some healthy menus. I used to live by the menus I made up each month. It saved a lot of money, time and kept us healthy.
This is not a New Years resolution. This is a fight for my health. It's depressing to think that my Dad AND his Mom died so young. I know my Dad fought to keep healthy all the time. Yes he was overweight, but that had nothing to do with the cancer he got. It sounds like my Grandma was pretty healthy too. She died of an aneurysm, that has nothing to do with how you take care of yourself either. So, there's that small part of me that wonders how much it really matters to take care of yourself. I'm probably going to drop dead by the time I'm 60 just like them. But, I guess I don't want to feel miserable for the next 15-20 years that I have on this earth either. I don't want my girls falling into bad habits. Maybe they have a better chance at a longer life than I do. They seem to have more of Jim's genes than mine.
So, hopefully, I will come here in the next few months posting positive results with all the effort I intend to make. Cheer me on, I'm going to need it!
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Dec. 20, 2007 - Trying to Get the Christmas Spirit
I'm trying to get the Christmas spirit. Really I am. I've faked it so far, but I haven't made it. I realized I haven't done a single thing with my girls for Christmas except for the tree. We usually are singing away to Christmas music and making enough candy and cookies to fill up the screen porch...that's our Christmas junk food refrigerator. :) I usually do an advent calender and wreath and all kinds of stuff. Not only has sickness ruined all that for me, but I can't do anything that has to do with Christmas or I think of my Dad and it makes me cry. The commercials for movies like A Christmas Story, The Bell's of St. Mary's and all of those cute Christmas cartoons make me want to have a good cry. Actually, I wasn't doing too bad until the stupid city tore down the house yesterday!
Speaking of the house....I realized that I never posted a picture here of what the house looked like before it was a pile of rubble. I started taking pictures too late and didn't get to it until they started the demolishion process a few months ago. I'll have to have Mark send me a few pictures. Maybe he can find something with the house all decked out for Christmas. That was my Dad's favorite time of the year.
Here's some before pictures...
Here's a picture that Mark got yesterday. Ironically, the wall of the basement that you can see, is where my Dad had all of his tools and stuff. You can see the marks on the wall where he had brackets that held up his shelves. Everything else in that pile of rubble is unrecognizable to me except for a few bits of the mint green livingroom walls and the peach colored walls that went up the steps.
Every year Mom took pictures of the girls sitting on her steps. We took one final picture on the very last day we were allowed in the house.
Each one of us wrote something on the walls as a final goodbye...
This is the place where my Dad took his last breath.
Angi wrote this in the kitchen.
See the purple peeking through the blue? That was the color of my room when I was growing up. :)
Tabitha drew a picture of her Grandpa driving his bus.
We don't know what Victoria drew, but it must have been important. :)
Zandria wrote the final one. When I discovered it as I was taking one last peek through the house, I stopped in my tracks and cried.
So, how does a person recover from a year as crappy as this one has been?
I got some gorgeous fluffy mail today from Stephanie of Aliah's Creations. We did a trade. I knitted her some longies and she sent me some dyed Peace Fleece and 4 gorgeous pairs of recycled longies. This was an AWESOME trade! The longies are gorgeous!
I went to the Christmas Luncheon at the high school/middle school today. It was for crossing guards, secretaries, maintenance staff, etc. It was pretty nice. Only 4 crossing guards showed up.
I had a really nice blessing today that will allow me to start selling my crocheted longies very soon. I wasn't able to afford it until today. I'm really excited about this! I decided that 2008 will be the year that I make more things that I want to make and not everything that everyone else wants me to make. If stuff sits in my store forever before it sells, then it does. I'm not going to put my kids to the side anymore so I can be bogged down making things that aren't 100% fun for me to make.
Angi just called me and gave me the report of her OB appointment. She had her ultrasound a few weeks ago. Apparently Liam has 2 tubes that connect to one of his kidneys instead of one. I'm not sure what that means. She didn't explain things to me very well since she didn't understand what the doctor told her. She has to have a follow up ultrasound to check it out closer. If anyone has any info about this, please contact me. The doctor was talking to her about Victoria's genetics tests and now she's scared. I kind of wish the doctor wouldn't have talked to her about that right now. She told her that if Victoria is diagnosed with Fragile X or something else, that Liam will need to be tested too.
I'm determined to sit down and relax with my family tonight and not be on the computer until after they go to bed. I'm finding out too much of the internet is starting to wear on my nerves. 
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Dec. 19, 2007 - The Final Kick in the Pants
I really wanted to title my entry something different. The last word would not say Pants, if you know what I mean.
Mom called me about 11am and was in tears. She told me that the house was torn down. One of her friends drove by and saw it. He talked to the owner of the restaurant across the street and he said they started at 8am. Mark had told the Mayor that we wanted prior notice as to the date it would be torn down because we wanted to be there and take pictures. This house was part of our lives for nearly 30 years. We thought we had at least that one final right. I cannot believe that people can be so heartless as to not give us the courtesy of one short phone call. In one of the last conversations I had with Dad, he told me he didn't give a "d" about the house, they could do whatever they wanted with it, but he wanted to for sure be there when they tore down what took him nearly 30 years to build up. Mark and I have been taking pictures of the whole process and we wanted to put all the pictures together when it was all done. I feel like I'm missing a big piece. And, to put a piece of my heart out there...honestly, I wanted to stand there and say a silent prayer of blessing before they crashed into the house for the first blow. Dumb, maybe, but I think I have the right to grieve the way I need to grieve.
By the time I got there, this was all that was left of the house I grew up in...the house my Dad just died in.
Here are my front steps.
Here is the front of my childhood home.
Here's the side of my childhood home. This is where the big bow window was located where my Dad died. My Dad's garage is also pictured. That will be hard to drive past all the time.
Do I sound bitter? I'm sure I do, because part of me is. Merry Christmas...we tore down your house without telling you. Gotta love it. This Christmas is going to be hard enough without the city pulling this kind of crap. But, it's over and done and I guess all I can do is forget about it. I pray this is the final chapter of this horror story.
So...onto some other things that aren't quite so depressing.............................................................
I've been trying to get a doctor appointment for Victoria since Monday. The doctor insisted she didn't need to be seen. I can't guarantee that she is sick enough to need antibiotics...ear infection, whatever. But, we're headed into Christmas and I don't feel like waiting around until Christmas Day for my daughter to be sick enough to sit in the ER. I finally convinced the doctor to check her out today. Thankfully, she doesn't have an ear infection or anything, but I needed to know for sure. For 5 days she's been sitting in the recliner, rocking, headbanging and screaming OWIE. She does have some fluid in her ears. I know that really bothers her. We've had this issue before. We solve it with numbing ear drops. This happens with kids who have sensory issues. The doctor told me that she received the report from the Geneticist and she really believes that we're on the right track with Fragile X Syndrome. If she does end up being diagnosed with this, it would fit her personality. She is very hard to figure out. Fragile X is one of those Syndromes that doesn't have a whole lot of guidelines. One child with Fragile X can be severely cognitively impaired and another could look perfectly normal except for a few little things. One positive thing is that Victoria is really progressing lately. Unless she were to lose some function at some point, I'm not too worried about the cognitive part. I need to do some more research on all the aspects of this, but I don't want to get myself all worried over nothing until I get word from the Geneticist whether it is a diagnosis or not.
Why do tax bills come before Christmas? Why are they due before New Year's Day? Why does the bank always figure our escrow wrong and we're always short by hundreds of dollars that we dont' have at the end of December?
I got a pair of crocheted longies from Kim at Essential Elements awhile back. I never tried crocheted longies before and I was curious. I fell in love the minute I took them out of the package. Her work is beautiful! I still love my knit longies, but there's no way I can compare how well crocheted longies hold up compared to knit. I thought long and hard about trying to make some myself and finally decided to buy the Ladybugz Honeysuckle pattern. I've made a few pairs for Victoria and a few for some preemie twin girls that I'm gifting. I need to buy a licence to sell them. I will probably do that come January. I don't have pictures of Victoria's yet. I'll have to do that. But, I have some of the preemie/newborn ones. I discovered that it's really hard to take a nice picture of crocheted longies due to extension that is done in the back to make room for the cloth diaper. Here's the best pics I got.
At one point today I realized Victoria was too quiet. I had just seen her go into her room to play. She does that a lot and I let her. She really needs some quiet time to herself or she has too many tantrums throughout the day. I peeked in to discover this...
On a completely different note...I took this picture of Angi on Thanksgiving and I never posted it. She's bigger now.
I have really been thinking about this year. It sure did stink! I keep wondering what in the world God is trying to teach me in all of this. Patience? Humility? What? Everything that has happened seems to have the same theme...unexpected or at least not in MY timing. My Dad dies at 60 years old after a 1 week cancer diagnosis. They give him six months...he dies in a week. My oldest daughter gets pregnant at a time in her life that I personally believe is NOT the right time. My childhood home gets torn down unexpectedly. Those are only a few examples. Apparently I need to learn that MY time is NOT GOD'S time. I have to trust that He knows what He's doing. Part of me likes order. I like to know what is happening and WHEN it's happening. I don't like surprises that involve timing. I guess God is trying to break me of that. I believe some of His lessons have been pretty harsh, but what do I know?
Someone asked me what I did today. This is it. Nothing much. I just tried to not have a nervous breakdown. Nothing stressful. The best time of the day awaits me. I'm going to go put on my jammies, put on the girls jammies and we're going to cuddle under a blanket and watch Christmas shows.
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Dec. 18, 2007 - Questions, Announcements and other babble
Who wants to answer these questions from Tabitha?
"How does God make the babies?"
"How does the doctor sew up the Mommy's tummy after he takes the baby out?"
Nothing like having an older pregnant sister to get a very inquisitive 5 year olds mind working!
I think Tabitha has been thinking about my Dad's death. She has been super clingy lately and is constantly saying "I love you Mama." She follows me everywhere. She tells me all the time that she loves to spend time with me. She's been bringing up stuff about my Dad that she remembers that just amazes me. Stuff that I never thought she would remember..after all, she's only 5. She saw the ad for the movie A Christmas Story. TBS plays it for 24 hours on Christmas and my Dad would have it on all day long. He thought that was the funniest movie. Tabitha remembered that. The other day she asked me if we all get to take our special things with us when we die. I wasn't sure what she meant. She was at the funeral home and saw my Dad in his casket for less than 5 minutes. She remembered that we put some of his special model cars in the casket with him. She wanted to know if she could take some special things with her when she died. So, how do you get through these kind of conversations without sobbing?
How do I stop thinking about dying young? My Dad's Mom died young. My Dad died young. My Dad worried all his life about dying young and he did. I have more of his genes than my Mom's. Everyday I keep thinking about how I need to change so many things in my life since I probably only have 15-20 years left. The way things go, maybe even less. Then I wonder what kind of crazy thing will bring on my death. Will my head explode? Will I get a cantalope size tumor somewhere? Probably not. That's been done already. It will be a surprise. Something I never saw coming. Yeah, I know. What morbid talk, huh?
Baby Davey is no longer baby Davey. He has a real name now. I have to learn to like it. I'm sure after he makes his appearance and he shows his cute little baby cheeks, his name won't mean as much anyway. Well...Angi chose Liam Vincent David. I better get a move on and start knitting that little boy some stuff. I have wanted to crochet/knit little boy stuff for 19 years and now is my chance!
I'm having fun working on crocheted longies. I'm hoping to start selling some in my store in January. I'll also have my new diaper patterns all perfected by then and ready to go. I'll have size 1 and size 2 FFF's. My only issue that I'm hoping to figure out is how many months the size 1's can be used.
The house went to pot in the past few weeks with all of us being sick. I think I finally got it liveable again. I need to get drinking kefir again so I don't end up sick like this again. I wasn't sick all last winter with drinking kefir daily and taking 1,000mg of vitamin C.
There is so much updating I should be doing instead of just babbling, but all this sinus medication just won't let me think clearly, so I'll have to do it another day.
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Nov. 28, 2007 - I Must Move On
I have a dear online friend who has been giving me a little nudge to update my blog. I have been trying and everytime I came here to do it, I just couldn't. It just seemed like I would never have anything as important to write as I wrote in my last entry so what was the point. But, I guess I just have to move on. Part of me doesn't want to, but I guess I should.
The Little Chute Christmas Parade was on Monday. The crossing guards had a float and we won first prize! The theme was Children Are Our Future. How could we not win with a theme like that? lol It was a pretty mild WI evening at about 27 degrees. But, after standing out there for 2 hours we were frozen solid. So, we went out to Perkins with my Mom and got some HOT food to warm us up. We tried to get some pictures, but it was too dark. Here are a few that turned out.
As you can see, Miss Victoria wouldn't leave her mittens on! I don't know how much you can see, but we had our cones surrounding the float with an orange and white paper chain. There were a bunch of school crossing signs on it too. Zandria pushed Victoria in the stroller and handed out candy. We put some battery operated Christmas lights on the stroller and a school crossing sign. One of the crossing guards made up a bunch of those little stop signs for all the kids to hold. Angi came with us too. None of us have ever been in a parade before so it was an interesting experience. I'm not sure why Wisconsinites have parades in the winter and think it's fun.
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Jul. 20, 2007 - The Day Dad Went Home
On Thursday, June 7th, I got out of bed after another night of not sleeping, made my coffee and watched the news. They were warning us of a really bad storm that would come right around the time we were to leave for Angi's graduation. She was supposed to graduate at 6pm that evening. We had to be there at 5pm. I talked to Mom on the phone a bit later. She told me that right after I had left the evening before, Dad had a really bad spell where he couldn't get comfy. They had friends and Nathan moving him in all kinds of directions trying to get him comfy. I was wishing he had those body pillows at that time. He finally fell off to sleep and had not woken up yet. Mom said he was snoring and laying on his back. I got the girls ready and we headed over there. When I walked in, I knew something wasn't right. He didn't sound quite like he was snoring. It was different. He was sprawled out on his back and didn't look like that would ever be a position he'd sleep in. Mom tried to wake him up by yelling that we were there and he wouldn't wake up. He did open his eyes for a bit. I knew it wasn't right. OJ, their cat sat on his legs that entire day. I'm going to post a picture of what Dad looked like when I walked in. We now know he was in a semi comatosed state at this point. I just wanted to put a warning here in case you don't want to look at the following picture. He just looks like he's sleeping.
As the day progressed, I sat and worried that Dad wasn't comfortable in that position, yet I didn't want to move him if he was comfortable. I was getting more sick to my stomach all day. I just knew this was going to be the day. Angi was going to graduate and my Dad would probably die on the same day. We tried to arouse him a few times and then I knew for sure this was it. He had a catheter put in at the hospital and there was no urine in the bag and it had been at least 24 hours. If we'd yell at him a few times, he'd open his eyes and we could see that they were as yellow as a crayon. His mouth was getting all foamy and he was sweating profusely. We tried to moisten his mouth with those pink foam things that hospice gave us and we used a hanky to wipe his sweaty head. At one point when he opened his eyes, he repeated a few times, "I go, I go." We told him it was OK, he could go anytime he felt he needed to. We were all here and it's OK. That's when I decided to try to track down Angi. She was at graduation rehersal. I talked to Greg and told him what was going on. She called later and said she would come over.
Nathan was supposed to come earlier in the afternoon. From this point on, the times that things happened all seem to run together. I can't quite remember in what sequence things happened. I'll have someone else read this later and correct what I have wrong. If I remember correctly, Angi and Greg showed up about 3:30. She said because of the big storm coming, they postponed graduation until the next night. Angi was shocked at the condition her Grandpa was in. She wasn't expecting that. She got him to open his eyes and she talked to him a little and held his hand. She couldn't stop crying. Greg held his hand for awhile and prayed silently. The chaplain came about 4:00. She knew as soon as she walked in that we were nearing the end. We stood around Dad's bed and said some prayers, last rites, etc. In the middle of it, I noticed the foam in his mouth was kind of brown and I had to walk to the other side of the bed because I couldn't stand to see that at that time. Nathan showed up at 5:00 and I almost hugged him. I did not want something happening without him there. Mom was too upset to do any care for Dad and I was clueless about what to do. At this point, a lot of brown stuff started to come out of Dad's mouth. Nathan kept cleaning it out with those pink swabs, but it wouldn't stop coming. We figured out it must be bile. His kidneys had shut down about 24 hours before this and the tumor grew enough in that time to completely close off his bile duct. He sounded like he was gargling and I was so afraid he'd start choking. Nathan assured me that he was comfortable and he wasn't feeling any pain. I finally said, I couldn't stand to see him laying on his back like that. My Dad NEVER sleeps on his back and he just didn't look comfortable to me. I really wanted to get him on his side and then maybe he wouldn't seem like he was gargling and the bile would be able to run out on its own. We got the body pillows I had bought the night before and got him positioned to where he looked comfortable. All of a sudden, Dad's eyes popped open and they stayed that way. We were wondering if he knew we were there or if he could see us. Nathan put his finger in front of Dad's eyes and he blinked. I was cleaing the bile out of his mouth constantly at that point. Dad would bite down hard on the stick and I'd tell him to "let go" and he would open his mouth. He sort of seemed like he was looking at me. Nathan said that he probably couldn't see me, but knew I was there. The toxins made his eyes completely yellow by that point and I guess they prevented him from being able to see. Nathan was so awesome during all of this. He kept saying, "It's OK Dave. You're all right." and he'd rub his arm, wipe his sweat, etc. I told him a few times that it was OK, if he was ready to go, he could go. I told him that we were all here: Mom, me, Angi, Zandria, Tabitha, Victoria and Greg. Mark had went to work because the day before that my Dad told him he should. After Dad's eyes had been open about 15 minutes, I saw him take a deep breath in and he got really quiet. No gurgling. No snoring sounds. Then, he vomited up a bunch of bile and I saw his body relax starting from his head and moving down to his feet. His eyes started to close. I asked Nathan if he had stopped breathing...even though I knew he did. He said, "Yes, turn off the oxygen." That was the last thing I ever did for my Dad...turn off his oxygen. Dad went Home at 5:30pm on June 7th. Four days after he had his official cancer diagnosis.
I feel bad that I can't really share what went on with everyone else in the room during that time. I was hyperfocused on doing what I could to keep Dad comfortable and to make sure he knew we were all with him. I do remember that I called everyone over as Dad took that deep breath. I remember my Mom not believing he stopped breathing and she didn't want me to turn off the oxygen. I remember seeing Zandria crying. Angi was sobbing. OJ was under the bed because we had to kick him off when we turned Dad on his side. That cat wouldn't move from under that bed! I told someone to call Mark at work. I can't remember who did it. Angi? When he got there I was so worried that he'd be upset that he missed being with Dad when he died. He told me he was glad he wasn't there. He didn't want to see it.
After Dad died. Nathan asked me if I'd like him to clean him up a bit. Mark was going to shave him that day, but because he was in the coma, he left him alone. Dad NEVER went a day without shaving. I had never in my life, until this day, saw him with whiskers. Nathan shaved him and put on aftershave. He put on some deodorant. We wiped the sweat from his head and neck. After that we all said our goodbyes. There were a lot of hugs, kisses and tears. We waited for the funeral home to come with the hearse. They put him on a stretcher and covered him with a burgundy, velvet type blanket. Right at the moment where they were going to bring him out of the house Dr. Cherkasky showed up and couldn't believe what he was seeing. He told us he was going to come see Dad later in the day. He thought for sure he'd be with us at least a few more weeks. We talked for awhile about cancer and different things. I could see how upset Dr. Cherkasky was by all this. He just couldn't believe there were NO signs or symptoms even on blood work. This came out of the blue when it was too late. He said even as a physician, he's scared to death of cancer. He had a friend die of the same cancer. He was fine the day before, woke up the next morning with yellow eyes and was gone days later.
After Dad was taken away in the hearse and we had a bit of time to breath and clean up, we decided to get pizza. That must sound so strange. My Dad dies and we go get pizza. We all said how strange it was that after it was all over, we realized we were starving. We all realized that for at least a week none of us had really eaten anything. Anyone who knows my Dad knows that he'd want us to have a good meal after a day like that. :) When we were all done eating, I don't think any of us knew what we were supposed to do. I felt so weird leaving that house. Especially knowing Mom and Mark had to sit in that house and not be able to forget the days events. The hospital bed and all the equipment was just sitting there as a bad reminder. But, I knew I had to leave and get my little ones to bed.
This is where I have to share God's goodness and grace. To put it bluntly, this whole things simply SUCKS and sucks BIG! But, God is good. Why this happened, I'll never know. I can't make sense of it. I never will. There hasn't been but a few times that I've questioned God about why He let this happen. I know that there's a reason, but even if God told me why, it wouldn't be a good enough reason. I've learned to not question it and move on. Remember how we were supposed to have all those storms? Tornadoes and the whole works. Dad was always afraid of storms. He had a weather radio. I can remember as a kid that if that thing went off in the middle of the night, we'd go to the basement and not question why. Those storms NEVER hit us. They came all around us and caused terrible damage especially to the north of us, but we didn't get but maybe a few drops of rain. I can even remember the sun peeking out as my Dad was dying. Angi's graduation was cancelled due to these storms and she was able to be with her Grandpa as he was going Home. We have talked about this a lot. We all believe he would have hung on until he got to see Angi one last time. He needed her to rub his head one last time. It was also amazing at how fast he went after we got him all comfy onto his side and we assured him it was OK to go, that we were ALL there with him.
After talking with Jim about this, he brought up some very important points. My Dad died as he lived. He died with respect and he died as a man. Anyone who knew my Dad respected him and knew he was a manly man. I forgot to mention this in my last entry, but when Nathan was telling us all of the things we needed to do to keep Dad comfy, Dad said, "Boy, I'm sure causing a lot of work for you people." I told him to knock off that talk. That it was no big deal and we were happy to do it. Dad did not like being taken care of. He didn't like inconviencing people. We are so convinced that once he got that official diagnosis, that he decided...well, this is it. Now I now why I haven't been feeling good for awhile. it. It's time for me to go and I'm not going to burden anyone because of it. No one can believe he went so fast. Part of me doesn't either, but the other part knows that if he lingered on, THAT wouldn't have been my Dad.
I have to admit that I'm so glad to have gotten past this part. I have needed to write this for nearly 2 months now and I just couldn't do it. It feels like a load is off of me. It's so hard to move on and enjoy life. Somedays I don't even want to have fun or do anything enjoyable. But, I have to push myself and remember that Dad would not want me sitting around sulking. He hated sulky people. When I get like that I try to use some of my Dad's sayings to make me smile...pull up a chair and sit on the floor, you make a better door than a window, that's funnier than a screendoor on a submarine.
I'm going to stop here and tomorrow I'll write about Angi's graduation and Dad's funeral.
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Jul. 19, 2007 - It's way past time for an update
I have a lot to update. I haven't been able to do it since my last update. There's so much to say. So much pain mixed with happiness and I just don't know how to get it out of my head and into words. I can't imagine you're reading this if you don't know me. If you know me, you know my Dad died on June 7th. As much as it hurts, I don't want to forget the things that happened during that time period in my life. As much as it hurt, my faith grew stronger and I saw God in every step. I need to record that time period so I can never forget my Dad, my daughter's graduation and all that God had done for me during those hard and joyful times. I'm going to try to back up to my last entry and go from there. It's going to be long, so get some coffee or tea and sit back and relax. It wouldn't hurt to grab a Kleenex or two, also.
For some reason, I can't remember the date I drove my Dad home from the hospital after that ER visit and he was in the hospital a few days. I'll ask my Mom about those dates and come back and edit this. He was in the passenger seat of my van on the way home. Anyone who knows my Dad knows what a neat freak he was about his cars...and my cars...and anyones cars. lol I couldn't believe he never said a word about my van being a big pig stye. He just told me that his truck was dirty too because he hadn't been feeling good enough to clean it. We had to stop at Consumer Prescription to pick up some meds the doctor prescribed at the hospital. It was around 5pm so it was really busy. Mark had went to work, so it was just me, my Mom and my Dad. My Mom ran into the pharmacy while Dad and I waited in the van. It was a hot day and he had my air conditioning blasting and he looked so sick that I just let him do it. He mentioned that his side was really hurting from where they had done the biopsy that morning. I told him to lean the seat back and that might help him feel better. My Dad who knew everything about Chevy's and everything about my van kind of looked at me in a confused way. I realized he didn't know how to lean the seat back and I had to show him. He seemed to be a bit more comfortable after that. We waited for a good 1/2 an hour and talked the whole time. All he could talk about was getting back to work. He said, When I get back to work, my bus is going to be so dirty. Although, I guess my partner is as neat and clean as I am." Isn't that funny? As sick as he was, he was worried about getting back to work and that his bus was clean. :) My Mom came out with the meds and I drove us the few blocks to their house. I pulled into the driveway and Dad was looking up the hill towards the house and he said, "I don't know how I'm going to make it up there?" He had to stop for a minute and rest in between each set of stairs. He headed for his chair as soon as he was in. He looked so white and sweaty. We talked a little about the new house and I told him I should probably head on home.
He was only home a day or two before he was so sick that he told my Mom and brother that they needed to bring him back to the hospital. That was on Monday, June 4. I met them at the hospital that morning. Mark was rolling my Dad into the hospital in a wheelchair. He looked so white and so icky that I had a hard time not breaking down right there. I cracked a joke, "Aren't you getting sick of getting wheeled into this place in that taxi?" My jokster Dad was so sick that he didn't get my joke until I repeated it to him again. I sat and talked to my Dad in the waiting room with Mark at my side while my Mom was getting him checked in. I told him that Angi had to take her one last test for school and she NEEDED to pass this test with a good grade or she wouldn't graduate. I told him to pray for her. He said, "Oh sure! She better pass that test!" And he smiled. He was complaining of feeling "rough" and his side hurting. Once the paperwork was all done, someone took him up to his room. My stomach nearly came into my throat when we got out of the elevator, turned the corner and in big letters on the wall I read, "Cancer Institute".
The nurses got him settled into bed a little bit and the nicest doctor I ever met came in to talk to us. As soon as she started talking, I started crying. I knew where this was going. I knew it wasn't good. She explained to us that the biopsy showed a cancer called cholangiocarcinoma. She didn't talk prognosis or treatment or anything no matter how much we asked her. She said we had to wait for the oncologist to answer those questions. There are a few things she said that really stuck with me and right then I knew that if God didn't preform a miracle, this was BAD. Dad was talking about going back to work and she was looking at him in such a way that he must have knew it was bad too. He said to her, "If ever?" She said back to him, "If ever." Meaning he probably would never be going back to work. Then she started talking about how we all need to have hope and good attitudes. Cancer feeds off of negativity. But then...she started talking about death. She said, "If death is imminent, we have medications that help you so you don't feel like you're choking or gagging." As soon as she said that, I KNEW my Dad was not going to come out of this. She asked him where his faith was and he said, "I've been talking to Him a lot." They gave Dad morphine through an IV. He was allowed to push the button every 15 minutes and he never missed a dose. But, as soon as that morphine kicked in, he was back to my jokster Dad. Mark and I couldn't help but giggle a bit because we could tell it was a morphine high, but it seemed so good to have Dad "back" for a bit. He talked to me about how I better call Christenson to come service my central air. How I better get those brakes fixed on my van. All the normal stuff my Dad gets on my case about. :)
All of this happened before noon that day. We had to wait until about 6pm, if I remember right, for the oncologist to come talk to us. In the middle of all this Dad had a lot of visitors. Dr. Amelia suggested that we research this cancer. So, I went home for a bit to check on my girls and I sat down at my computer. When I read about this cancer it took everything I had to not vomit. I had sensed that this was bad. But, reading those words made it final to me. He was going to die and it would be sooner than later. Read about cholangiocarcinoma . I drove back to the hospital and part of me wanted to tell my family what I had read, but when I walked into the room my Dad had a few visitors and I didn't want to do it with them there. I sat there knitting while they all sat and talked about all the treatments there are for cancer and how my Dad was going to be OK. I felt like I was screaming inside the whole time they were talking. Finally the oncologist came in. He explained everything that I read on the internet. He said he had a huge mass on his liver. We found out later it was about the size of a cantalope. He told my Dad he wouldn't refuse to let him have chemo, but he thought he was too weak to do it. My Dad didn't even hesitate. He said he didn't want the chemo. I know he was thinking about this for a long time. He told the oncologist that he wanted to go home and be comfortable. They were making arrangements to have him sent home the next day and get Hospice started. My Mom was a wreck. Mark didn't look any better. Dad didn't say a single word about anything. That's my Dad. He wasn't going to show us how he felt about this because he knew we were hurting enough. When we left, everyone else was walking about and I gave him a big hug and said, "This really sucks!" He said, "Yep, it sure does." and he giggled. I said, "Dad this is so unfair. We didn't have much of a relationship when I was growing up and just in the past 10 years or so, we finally have one." He started to say, "You were always my girl..." and I cut him off and told him I couldn't stand to here him talk like that.. He said, "OK, I won't." and he had a big smile on his face. I just couldn't bare to hear him tell me that stuff right then because it seemed like "death talk". Now I'm kicking myself because I wish I would have listened to every word that he was going to say so I could hold onto those words forever. When we were all out of the room it was group hug and group sobbing time. I felt like a zombie when I was driving home. I couldn't believe I was living this nightmare.
The next day, I was going to meet Mom and Mark at the hospital in the morning. Mary and Roy decided to drive up too. I got there before any of them and my Mom's boss was sitting in the waiting area with Dr. Amelia. We talked about a lot of things. I told her that I knew this was not going to be 6 months like the doctor had said. I didn't even think it would be 6 weeks. She told me to "be happy if he is here today and be joyous if he is here tomorrow." That day I noticed that every chance Dad got, he was giving Mark instructions about things that needed to be done or things that he didn't care were done. He was talking about some of the things that needed to get done at their new house. He reminded him that the lease wouldn't be up on his truck until March. Again, he reminded me about the brakes on my van, my central air, and that I better call the plumber to get a new toilet and the other plumbing fixed.
We had to talk to a million people that day...or at least it seemed like it was that many. Social workers, hospice, etc. We finally told them that there was just NO way we were prepared to bring Dad home that day. The ambulance people wouldn't bring him up the stairs in a stretcher and he was too weak to walk. After a lot of brainstorming, Mom called some of Dads friends from Valley Transit and they said they'd help us get him into the house the next day. The other issue we had was that because they are moving, there are boxes and stuff everywhere. None of the stuff had been moved out of the livingroom. My Mom did more brainstorming and she got some of the guys from Kaukauna Family Restaurant to come over and move all of this stuff into the garage. We got the house all prepared for Dad to come home and then we went to eat at the restaurant across the street. I could have cared less about eating. I went home and didn't sleep.
The next morning me and the girls went over to help get my Dad all settled once he came home. There were 3 big guys from Valley Transit there to help get him out of the cab and into the house. They ended up going up the neighbors driveway, then through the grass up to the front porch steps. The whole time, Dad was smiling and I could tell he was so happy to be home. The med equipment people were just getting the hospital bed all set up and I put some sheets on it. Dad waited so patiently and laughed and talked with his friends about everything and anything. They helped him get into bed. Once he was settled, he had such a big smile on his face and he said, "Oh it feels SO good to be home!" Mom had to go to the pharmacy and get his meds. I got him some water which he only drank a few sips of. He was choking a little bit when he'd try to drink. He didn't want anything to eat. I let him rest and I sat and knitted. Here's a picture of Dad after he got settled that day.
After awhile, he got really uncomfortable and he couldn't even turn himself in bed because he was so weak. Mom and I had to put our brains together and remember how we turned people in beds, in our work situations. We got it, but it wasn't easy! We turned him a lot that day. The hospice nurse, Nathan, came later in the afternoon and helped us figure out all the meds and what Dad would need to be comfortable. He told us everything that we might see as the cancer progressed. He assured us that the meds would help him be comfortable and he wouldn't suffer. He said the average life of his liver cancer patients is usually about a month, two at most. So, that's what we were preparing for. At one point, while Nathan was there, my Mom walked one of my Dad's friends outside as he was leaving. My Dad opened up to Nathan about some things that must have been on his heart a long time. He told him how he hurt his family a lot for many years and he regretted it a lot. Nathan asked him what made him change. He just said that he couldn't live that way anymore. I said, "Dad, I've forgiven you for all that junk years ago. Don't worry about it." By about 4:00 or so, all the visitors left and Dad finally got to get some rest. I knew he had a really hard day and I just wanted him to rest. I had to leave a while after that because Angi had her Honors Ceremony. I told my Mom that I was going to slip out and not wake him up to say good bye. I would be back tomorrow. I took some money my Dad got from his friends at Valley Transit so I could get him some body pillows so he could be more comfortable.
Zandria and I went to Angi's ceremony. It was nice. They announced her like this: Angela Evans, daughter of Lisa Garnett. Angela will be studying massage therapy at Blue Sky School of Massage. She got a golden tassel. I think I have pictures of this too that I haven't had a chance to edit. When I do that, I'll put them here. After the ceremony, we ran to Walmart and picked up two body pillows for Dad. I called Mom and she said he was sleeping really sound. So, I told her I'd just bring them in the morning.
I'm going to take a break here and finish up the rest of this in another entry. My Dad's homegoing deserves a page of its own. I'm going come back to this and edit what I can here tomorrow. Then, I'll move on.
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Jun. 3, 2007 - The Good and the Bad
The Bad
The update about my Dad going to the ER isn't a good one. They did a cat scan and found a huge mass on his liver, one in his intestine and small nodules in his lungs. The doctor can't confirm that it's cancer until the biopsy comes back on Tuesday, but he said that's what it looks like. I'm praying for the best, but preparing for the worst. I can't remember the last time I cried for 24 hours straight. If anyone reading this has any advice about cancer treatments whether natural or medical, please pass them on. That's about all I'm going to say about that. I don't want to go blubbering my feelings, thoughts and premonitions about this right now. I'm sure I'll have enough to say on Tuesday.
The Good
I was wallowing in my sorrow on Saturday morning while my girls were wanting to go to the Cheesefest parade. I almost didn't go. The parade started at 10:30 and at 10:25, I told Tabitha to get her shoes and and let's go. We grabbed a nice big bag for the candy they throw out and off we went. The girls had fun. Even Victoria seemed to enjoy watching it.
We've been having lots of rain the past few days. The prediction was for rain on and off all day long and that's exactly what it did. About 5pm, it finally let up and the sun came out, so we decided to go down to Cheesefest at Doyle Park. It's a typical summer festival except that since we are in WI , the land of cheese, the fest is centered around that. Angi came to visit after work so she came with us. She made the comment that it was "a fun family outing." It was. It was nice having her with us. She took Tabitha on the rides and helped her play games. We ate cheese and funnel cake and came home satisfied, but feeling like we had been cooked in a steam bath from the weather.
Here's a picture of the stage where the bands play. The band up there in the picture is Sonic Circus. They were really good. Jim even liked them. They played a lot of 80's tunes.
Here's some pics of the games Tabitha played.
This was Victoria's first carousel ride. She LOVED it. She kept saying "Wheeee!"
Here's some of the other rides Tabitha went on.
They had a few animals to pet through the fence. I should have taken a picture of all of them. They didn't look well taken care of at all. Ick! Victoria did NOT like it when we tried to show her how to feed a goat! Then, I further traumatized her by trying to show her a llama and it tried to kiss her. 
Tabitha's first pony ride. She loved it. Doesn't the worker look so thrilled to be there? I almost wanted to pay her a few more bucks if she'd smile.
To back up a few days...Angi had Common Experience. It's where the Renaissance students share all the work they did that semester. Angi was in a few dance classes, unarmed stage combat and a few others. The pictures turned out kind of weird because of the lighting, but I think you'll be able to find her in them.
We've had a really busy and stressful week around here. Next week will be more of the same. On Tuesday we find out what the doctors will do for my Dad, on Wednesday we will attend an awards ceremony for Angi because she is graduation WITH HONORS!, on Thursday is graduation day and on Friday I get to attend a Crossing Guard lunch and sit at the same table with my boss who isn't a pleasure to be around. Somewhere in there the rain needs to stop so I can finish planting in my garden. I have all my seeds to plant yet. If anyone can tell me how to get through this week without crying, please let me know. 
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May. 28, 2007 - Yardwork Day!
I was all set to get a bunch of yard work done on Saturday and it decided to rain. So, I did some sewing instead. I'm working on sewing a new knitting bag for myself. I'm almost done. That morning I took Victoria and Tabitha to Home Depot and we did a bunch of window shopping. Igot some prices on toilets, cabinets, etc. The big thing was getting prices on our privacy fence. I'm going to go ahead and order what we need next week and get it delivered. Hopefully in a week or two we can get it up.
Yesterday, Angi came over and pampered me with a full body massage for my birthday. She even did the dishes after supper! We had a good chat and I found out all kinds of things about some of her old friends who live in the neighborhood that we banned her from. One is pregnant at 16 and doing drugs and smoking. The rest of them are all druggies and barely making it in school. Angi is so glad she's not friends with them anymore. That night we had a bonfire. Greg came over after work and him and Jim really talked. I knitted and listened.
Today was yard work day. We got a LOT of stuff done, but there's still plenty to do. Jim tilled up the garden. Then, we replaced our current fence with chicken wire. Then he got an inkling to cut down two trees. We have a line of trees that all need to be cut down eventually, but some are too big for us to do ourselves. It's nice with these two down. I never had enough sun in that corner of the garden. I got started on some of the work in the front yard, but didn't get it even half done. I'll work on that this week.
Here's my hubby tilling up the garden for me.
Here it is all tilled up with the new chicken wire fence. I'm going to be burying the bottom into the ground and putting some logs around it. We have a really hard time with rabbits. Last year I gave up after I replanted 3 times! The bunnies ate every single thing. So, this year I'm determined to outsmart them! From looking at this picture, now do you see why we need a privacy fence? The white fence is ours, beyond that is the neighbors garage and house. They have a big black mutt that stays outside all the time. They cut a whole in the garage and theres a little dog cage where it stays. So, there's the barking dog right in the middle of where I garden barking at me the entire time I'm outside. I'm really tired of it. Not only that, but their children stick their hands through our fence and pull up what they can reach in my garden.
Here's one of the trees we cut down.
Here is the other one.
Isn't this creepy? It looks like the tree has blood on the inside. Ewww!
There's the stumps. You can see the corner of the garden. So, now, there will be sunlight there! Those black posts are from our old fence. We'll be putting it back up in back of those trees and across the back yard. That way, the kids next store can't play in our yard and break our stuff whenever they feel like it.
If you wanna come over for a bonfire this summer, we have plenty of stuff to burn up after cutting those trees down. Plus we're still working on wood from other trees we cut down.
Lets call this the BEFORE picture...I need to get all those weeds pulled and fresh mulch put in. I'm going to dig up the area on the left, put fresh black dirt and mulch in and plant some flowers. I need to paint the rest of that big window trim purple and I need to get Jim to paint the trim on the top of the house purple. we've only been working on painting the house for about 7 years now. We still have to do the second coat of tan on the upper half.
I promised some fun pictures. Here's Tabitha riding her bike today with Zandria. We got this bike using some of her Christmas money.
In the middle of all that I got a call that my Dad was on his way to the ER. He hasn't been feeling good for quite awhile. My Mom just called me and said they did a cat scan and found nodules in his lungs. They don't know what they are yet. They have no idea what's wrong with him. I guess tongue is really swollen and so is one of his legs and he has pneumonia. It sounds like he is really sick and it doesn't sound good at all. Please say some prayers.
Two more weeks of school, crossing guard duty and my oldest daughter will be graduating highschool! It's going to be an interesting two weeks!
Zandria and her friends put the little ones in the stroller and took them down to the Memorial Day parade a few blocks from here. I'm going to go take a shower while I can without people knocking on the door every 2 minutes and asking me if I'm done yet.
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May. 25, 2007 - Workin' on next years school plans
I talked to Zandria's computer teacher about needing some things done on my computer so he did a bunch of stuff today and I'm bringing it back next Wednesday for a big overhaul. I'm excited. It really needs to be done. While he was working on that, I talked to the Principal about some things for next year. Zandria's weak area is Language Arts. She hates it and could care less if she can spell or write a paper, but unfortunately for her, I DO care, so she will be taking Language Arts at St. John's next year. I'm worried about her not being able to keep up with the class and the Principal assured me that they have times that she could get extra personalized help if needed. She also let me bring home the 7th and 8th grade books so I can look through them and see if I can figure out if she'll be OK with the 8th grade class or not. I have my mind set on setting her up with Connections Academy next year, so I think it will be a good experience for her to have a "real" teacher who makes "real" deadlines and makes her write "real" papers for "real" grades for at least the one class next year. It will help her ease into a full highschool load.
One of the employees from the knitting store checked out my store and wants to order some of my market bags. That's exciting! She's going to be passing out my business cards. So, hopefully, I'll be able to get more local customers. The only problem is, I can only sew, knit and crochet so fast. Sometimes I need faster hands! In the midst of my customs right now, I'm working on a knitted skirt set to donate to a fundraiser for a family who just lost their Mom to cancer. There are 7 children in this family. It's a pretty sad situation. 
I'm so glad that this school year is nearly over! I'm REALLY going to miss my paycheck, but going to work and seeing my life flash before my eyes at least once a day has really got me stressed! Some of these drivers simply amaze me! I think some of them think they are driving in a video game and not in real life. If they were driving in reality, they would know that it really is NOT OK to not stop while the crossing guard is in the middle of the road! And it's really, really not OK to try to run over the crossing guard while she's crossing 6 children on bikes! Grrr!
Thank you all who sent birthday cards and presents for me! It's a rare occasion that we eat take out food or go out to eat, so I used some of my birthday money and ordered chinese food. Yum! I can actually find gluten free foods that are OK for Victoria and I to eat when I order chinese.
Hopefully tomorrow will be a productive day and I'll get some good prices on privacy fences and stuff for out bathroom. I've been putting off this window shopping trip for awhile because I know it's not going to be cheap, but it needs to get done. And, hopefully by Monday I'll have most of my garden planted. I bought a few plants, tomatoes, grape tomatoes, a few different peppers, brussel sprouts. Then, the rest will be seeds to plant. Sooooo, before they start to grow, we need to get the privacy fence up so the neighbor kids aren't sticking their arms through the fence and pulling up everything they can reach.
Off to bed so I can be rested up to get some work done tomorrow.
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May. 22, 2007 - Always workin' on somethin'
I just got done taking a bunch of pictures for my store while fighting the wind and 87 degree heat. Although, with the wind, it didn't feel that hot. Check out my Sneak Peeks and Customs links to see what I'm busy working on. There's some new pictures of Tabitha there.
Victoria just got done doing an 8 day diaper study today. We have to go to the Clinical Research building at Kimberly Clark in Neenah. There they put a diaper on, takes pictures of how it fits. Then, every 10 minutes they fill it with a certain amount of saline until it leaks. They take more pictures of how the diaper fits after all of that saline is in there and that's it. They pay $30 for 2 hours and we've been there on an average of 1 1/2 hours each day. They pay the full amount no matter how long we are there. Victoria has fun playing with kids and we earn money.
I got a letter in the mail the day before Mother's Day telling me that Angi wasn't going to graduate because she was close to failing a class. I was NOT a happy camper. When I talked to her about it, she had no idea what the letter was about. She talked to the guidance councelor who said it was a misunderstanding. WELL, then, I got a letter a few days ago that said she is now graduating with senior honors and there will be a special ceremony the night before graduation. Funny thing...Angi never was informed of this. Gotta love the communication in that school! Next week she will be doing some end of the year perfomances on Wednesday and Thursday. I'm going to take off of work so I can go see her. And, in other news about Angi, she is seriously considering going to school for Massage Therapy. She took some classes this year and she is VERY good at it!
And then there is Zandria...do all 13 year olds turn into a walking tornado and make messes wherever they go? But anyway, I'm going to talk to her computer and art teachers next week and see how she did. She took those classes at St. John's Catholic School and seemed to really enjoy them. I'll be signing her up for a Language Arts class next year for sure. She really needs one good language arts class before she hits highschool. She hates it, it doesn't make sense to her and it frustrates her. Because of that, it's hard for me to teach her without her not getting mad. I figure if she takes it at a school with a "real" teacher and other kids around her, she may concentrate on the work better. I may also sign her up for Spanish. I'm not sure yet. The classes aren't exactly cheap, so we'll see.
I'm off to watch American Idol. That's one show I won't miss. Especially tonight and tomorrow. I need to see the finale!
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May. 20, 2007 - Cleaning and knitting
Yesterday I completely ripped apart Tabitha and Victoria's room and cleaned and decluttered. You wouldn't believe the difference! Now I just need to make some new curtains and a few other things. I'm trying to come up with an idea for a wider, thicker bumper pad for the "headbanger's crib." I also have an idea to put a thick wall quilt by the headboard so if it bangs againt the wall it will be more padded and won't be so loud.
Both girls have colds and I feel a scratchy throat coming on. Time to go eat vitamin C like candy!
Today I will be working on knitting a skort for a customer. She sent me some soy yarn that is soft as silk and really easy to work with. I also have to make a dent in the pile of diapers I have for another customer.
Jim went to Eau Claire for his annual fishing trip. He'll be coming home today. It's always weird when he's not here. I guess that means I miss him.
Off to fold 5 loads of laundry, change a diaper, dress the little girls and make breakfast.
