WithinTheNorm

WithinTheYellowjacket

no, it is not Yoda... it is a picture I took of a nest I collected from Bethlehem, Connecticut.

When I was around 8 years old I saw some high grass. I thought how nice it would be to run and jump in it. The grass would cushion my fall and I would settle like a feather falling gracefully through the air.

It all was going as planned until I hit the yellow jacket nest at the bottom of the grassy pillow. Those nasty little critters ruined my free fall by stinging me multiple times.  I remember my great grandmother Fargo taking baking soda and placing a round patch on every one of my stings.  I felt like a dalmation.

A few years later I was out in the back woods and I saw something strange happening in an old pine tree.  There was a hole about 15 feet up covered with bugs.  I figured out they were honey bees.  I like honey bees better than yellow jackets and hornets, though they can be just as cranky.

I got a couple of bee hives and began to feast on honey.  I even subscribed to Bee Life Magazine.  In the back they had an advertisement looking for people who would collect yellowjackets and hornets.  I actually got an order, but it was too difficult to do back then.

About 13 years ago I was coaching football at my Alma Mater.  It was fun but took lots of time, even as an assistant coach.  They offered me the head coaching position of the Freshman team.  Thoughts of movie rights danced in my head as I dreamed I would lead the first high school freshman team to be the first to defeat a Professional team with Coach Norm at the helm.

But thankfully, God was turning my heart toward home.  Though I needed the money, I turned it down and turn my back on coaching.  Thanks to the internet, I found the lab again, lo 15 years later.  They gave me another order. 

It was very difficult at first.  I had an swarm vacuum that was VERY heavy and cumbersome, especially 30 feet up on a latter with hundreds of angry hornets flying around.  Anyway, years later, I perfected a collecting system that is light weight, inexpensive the make, and very versatile. 

I only do this for about 6 weeks every year.  No, I do not make lots and lots of money.  Yes, it does pay more than coaching. 

Quite honestly, I lo

This is called Norman the Conqueror!

There is no way I could find the nests, so what I do is advertise Free Removal of Yellow jacket, Hornets, and Wasps during August and September.  This way the people find them for me.  Nasty old exterminators poison you, the environment, and kill much more than what they intend.  Then, to add insult to injury, they charge ridiculous fees though they only use about a $1.50 worth of poison. 

Me?  I have developed an organic method  (sounds impressive!  and it is!).  I almost started an organic pest removal service.  There are guys doing that around the country making tons of money.  But alas, God did not save my life several times to have me spending my life removing bugs... and (sniff) getting rich.  Who needs lots of money when I can earn a little extra outside of the double honor I receive laboring in word and doctrine?

Some people are known for being a great preacher.  Others for being a writer.  Me?  I'm the bee man.  Wow! what an epitaph for my life.  I've been on two different television stations, 4 different newspapers including the New York Times, and several radio stations.  The media loves pastors who also collect yellow jackets, hornets, and wasps for free.  But since I'm the only one in the country, I get all the attention.  Someday I hope to be on national television (if you know someone who knows someone have the call me).

So when I'm not being husband and dad and pastor, I'm out seeking revenge upon the world of stinging creatures.  I have paid them back for those stings those many years ago... and, after selling their ancestors to a medical lab, they have paid me back as well.

We now have a mutual respect and seek to live in harmony.... unless of course, I get an order from the lab for them. 

Hey, if you happen to live in an area with lots of dairy farms and lots of these nests...

Untitled Comment

10:35 AM, Jul. 20, 2007 .. Posted by BelovedPeace

Yay! You posted! :-)
Hahaha Everyone! We now have a White Faced Hornets nest on our deck! (They got transported there by The Bee Man!). Who else has such an interesting thing on THEIR deck that was put there on purpose???? ;-)
Amy :O)

Wow

8:43 AM, Jul. 24, 2007 .. Posted by Joy

Wow Daddy! You went from not posting to posting a really long post! ;-D
Did you remember to add that you take those nasty insects home for us? ;-)
Well, I have to say that life is pretty exciting around here during bee season! I think we should do a movie on it! I can hear it now... "Adventure... Danger... Excitement... This man collects live yellow jackets and hornets... and hatches the brood... then he freezes them in dry ice... and finally sells them to a medical lab to help sting allergic patients!"
Sounds pretty exciting, huh?

Splendid!!

12:25 PM, Jul. 25, 2007 .. Posted by Hecat19

THAT'S the Norm we all know and love!!!!

Untitled Comment

10:28 PM, Aug. 4, 2007 .. Posted by BelovedPeace

You're tagged! Go to my blog and get it! :-)
Love, Amy :O)

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11:01 PM, Aug. 4, 2007 .. Posted by Anonymous

Here's your tag -

1. What is your school's name and why?

2. How is your weather today?
3. What steals your joy?

4. Name 5 blessings you received this week.

5. Favorite scripture passage?

6. Who in the Bible do you think you are most like?

7.The last passage of scripture you read was:

8. Have you ever praised God for something weird?

9.What is the best miracle God has performed in your life, or what is your favorite answered prayer?

10.What is the most fun thing you have done lately?

11. How did you choose your screen name?

12. Name 5 people you will tag!

Love, Amy :O)

Wow

1:29 AM, Aug. 5, 2007 .. Posted by DeusPrimus

That was a great post!!!!

I especially liked the photos. It almost makes me wish we had wasps nests that big in California. (Notice the "almost".)

Happy collecting!

Later,

BFH