This lesson is on dialogue. I have changed the following to a dialogue.......(Spaces, indents, ect)
“Batter-up! We haven’t got all day!” Tom shouted.
“Stop yelling,” Katie said. She grabbed the bat and scowled at her brother. He scowled back.
“No girls,” Sean piped up from the pitcher’s mound.
“What do you care? She’s not on your team,” Tom snapped. Sean glared at Katie for a moment, then shrugged.
“Suit yourself. But I’m not going easy on her just ’cause she’s a girl.”
“Who’s asking you to?” Katie said. “Play ball!”
Feedback welcome!
Me
Posted by Anonymous
___“What do you care? She’s not on your team,” Tom snapped. Sean glared at Katie for a moment, then shrugged.
___“Suit yourself. But I’m not going easy on her just ’cause she’s a girl.”
OK, it's hard to show the indents on a comment post, so I used slashes to indicate a new paragraph.
Because Sean is a new speaker (even thought he is doing something before he talks) you generally need to indent a new paragraph (there are exceptions, of course!)
____“What do you care? She’s not on your team,” Tom snapped.
____Sean glared at Katie for a moment, then shrugged. “Suit yourself. But I’m not going easy on her just ’cause she’s a girl.”
Think of it as if Sean was just shrugging. You would indent in that case, wouldn't you?
____Sean shrugged. "Suit yourself. But..."
Edited by SuzyScribbles on Dec. 28, 2007 at 3:09 PM