May. 30, 2008 - Swirly and Confused
We're still in the midst with Fitzilla of one minute, angry meltdowns then acting like nothing happened. Yesterday, she got upset and disprespectful about something. Shortly thereafter, I emailed my DH and told him to bring home whiskey and duct tape - you know, to "medicate" her and seal her mouth. So when he came home and asked her about causing me trouble, she didn't know what he was talking about. At least, she acted like it. It's been like that since she was small - going off then acting like nothing happened. I've been researching and I don't think she has anything like Ausperger's Syndrome but she's a textbook case of Bi-Polar Disorder. I can't help it, Romans 1, among other passages, tells me that the way you think and behave can shape/ distort your mind - we're spiritual beings and I believe that God, in His wisdom, would not give us minds that up until recent history, regarded this mental condition as a spiritual issue. I can't bring myself to medicate a spiritual issue. She's rebellious which is as the sin of witchcraft we're told in scripture. I was hoping that when they did bloodwork on her that we'd find that a blood transfusion would cure her. Heck, if that were the case, I'd be getting a blood transfusion myself. But, that's just it, I've had a blood transfusion - the blood of Christ is mine, now. Fitzilla needs that blood transfusion. She's asked for help, which is a good sign, and asked to stay home after she had her bags packed. I just don't know how much more I can take some days.
I'm also torn about decisions like "do I let her audition for the next play when she's been disrespectul without apology?" "Do I graduate her even though our goal in education is "add to your faith, virtue, to your virtue knowledge?" "Do I let her participate in the 4-H fair?" These, to me, are privileges my children enjoy. I kind of think one should act like one my children to receive those priviliges. BUT, we also would like peace as we try to figure out what to do for this, otherwise, gifted, enjoyable young lady. 
Thank you for the comments. It helps knowing we're in this together though so far apart!
This trial also "tries" to overshadow everything else going on in our lives. Our baby boy, Isaiah is one - just turned one in April. He's SO cute and SO funny, we laugh everyday.
I need to get back to the land of the living. More updates to come. I have catching up to do.
God bless!
Comments
Jun. 6, 2008 - Untitled Comment
Posted by jrwinters
My sister was listening to Dr. Dobson one day when someone asked what the most difficult age was in raising a child. He said, "18." It is so much more difficult when they are of legal age, when the only thing you can do is pray. Sometimes they're running from God, sometimes they're running to sin. All I know is: it breaks the heart of a mother. But we have God's promise that if we raise them in the way they should go, they will return to it. We always hope for sooner instead of later, but patience is required. God has a perfect plan, even for our rebels. Now they just have to figure that out. The lady in our church that I told you about once that had 13 kids once told one of hers, "If I could walk down that aisle for you I would, but you have to do it." We have to wait on them, just as God waited on us.
Stay strong and keep the faith,
Jeannine
