Today was a GREAT day for me!! I got up feeling terrible...sore achy body. Word of advice...if you are out of shape and approching closer to middle age and are just not used to alot of activity lol...don't join in on your teenagers youth sports games. We played dodge ball...I love to play and get involved at times, but my body doesn't lately lol.
About the message though....the Pastor asked us, "What would you do, if you knew that you could not fail? What would you set out to accomplish? What fear would you conquer?" He spoke at length on this today and it really made me think. He said as well, that if we do not plan to change or at least set some goals to work towards that we would never change. If our lives are the same boring day in to day out...year after year...what are we accomplishing? Are we pleasing the Lord? Jesus desires a life for us!! How does God want to use us? Have we asked? Are we too afraid to ask, or are we just too busy?
I have to admit...that when I first accepted Christ into my heart, I wasn't taught alot. I was given a Bible and pushed along. I felt like I had went through a drive-thru. Trying to sort out the Bible has been a very long walk for me....I have tripped and fallen and recently almost quit. You see, I haven't really been giving my heart and all my problems to the Lord. I have been holding onto them. When the Pastor asked that question this morning, it really made me think. Here I have sat feeling sorry for myself. I asked my husband to move me closer to home, to be closer to my family and now I am here...and guess what!!? There is no difference in communication, it is still like I live a two day trip away from them instead of 4 hours lol. We don't call anymore or see each other anymore. So self pity was setting in because I am now mad at myself for leaving behind all my friends from back home. And it did become back home...this is no longer my home. And now I have to remake it my home. It is all so confusing. The community is not that accepting of homeschooling and they can be distant, it gets awful lonely. If I say anything, I am opening the door for them to suggest putting my children into public school. So I have realized that God hasn't left me....I am alone yes....but it is because I came very close to leaving God. If I fail it isn't because of God or because of where I live. It is because I felt sorry for myself and wanted to give up because I was having a fit and wasn't getting what I wanted. What do I want? I do not know. I am like a child who needs guidance yet. If you are not daily reading God's Word and daily regiving your heart felt problems and frustrations to him....then you get nothing.
We need to ask ourselves again...What would we do, if we knew we would not fail. I would give up my fears. The fear of driving and the fear of succeeding! Hard to believe that some don't succeed at their goals and plans because they fear success. But it is true. If we succeed, then their goes our comfort zone and it can draw attention to yourself...what else?! Lots. I didn't want to go to college, because I was afraid. And because I believed I couldn't succeed, because my father always told me that I couldn't. Well...my Godly Father tells me that "I can do everything through Christ who gives me strength!" Philippians 4:13 And I have forgiven my earthly father ages ago. Because how could of I have gone to college and had my children only to decide to homeschool in afew short years...pay off the debt of education and suffer through financial disasters that I stomp my feet through today? lol. I wish my husband were in Church with me today....he too has this button that shuts off and doesn't allow him to succeed. The lies we believe and the fears we have are enormious and have a tremendous effect on our lives!!!! My husband can't budget to save his life. He has admitted that too me, so I can say it and not slam him by saying it. But the wrong part is that he hasn't done anything to fix that. Why? Because he has set a limit on his life and hasn't been able to live beyond that limit. It is like a cage. Things are so bad right now, that only God can get us out of it. And I think my Pastor gave me a great idea today....though he doesn't know it lol. God has given us gifts to use, and we are to use them. They can be anything. So I am going to spend sometime with God in prayer..and pray over some talents I know I have...and maybe I can grow deeper in my faith if I use them. More of that later.....
How do we set limits for ourselves? We set them all the time. When we apply for a master card, we have limits....we just can't do what we want with it. If we do, the bill haunts us until it is paid off. Another limit is a library card, we can't keep those books, we have three weeks to return them. How about when we become parents? Do we have limits there? Yes!! We can not do what we want with our children. We will be held accountable to God for everything we do or do not do. The Bible tells us to train them up in the way that they should go.....that tells me that I can't let them raise themselves....I can't ignore my child and expect him and her to know what to do. I can dicipline them when they need it....but even dicipline isn't training them....I just learned a new idea....not new to most of the Christian ladies here. But it is new to me. When I am trying to train my children....I need to think of it as discipleship. Follow Jesus's examples. He told lots of stories, and he didn't punish, he forgave and loved His people...ALL people. Another limitation we have is an important one for ourselves....when we become Christians....we can't continue to do as we please either. The Bible sets out clear no no's. And very easy to follow instructions of things to do. Such as love your neighbour as yourself. Ok that isn't always easy to do. I know this....because I haven't given a great example here. And that is not good either. Because we are too be examples of Christ. If I don't live a lifestyle that shows I am a follower of Jesus, that gives a bad testimony of who I am.
I know that I have over the years limited myself from doing things that the Lord has wanted me to do. When He set before me to homeschool my children....I grabbed onto it. But - there again....we have limits of what we can do and not do. Just this week I read a news report on line that my friend sent to me about a mother of four daughters who took them out of public school to educate them at home....instead they were abused and murdered in their home. We can't homeschool to injure our children. They need us to love and protect them....and we are answerable to God for all things we do. They are innocents and even though we are their parents....God is their parent too....all of us are children of God. We were bought and paid for with the blood of Jesus...we are very valuable and very loved.
We need to make ourselves available to God...so He can work through us. I mentioned that some of us are afraid or too busy....there is a huge difference between limitations and excuses!!
These excuses he called Moses' excuses....simple ones really and we all do them, because we are human and humans all have faults....if we look at Exodus
1. The excuse of *insecurity*....moses asked "who am I to do that?*(3:11)
2. The excuse of *authority*....The Bible tells us that Jesus taught with authority and transfered his authority to His followers. (3:14)
3. The excuse of *believeability*.....we sometimes worry about "what if people don't believe?" Well....lots of people won't believe...and it is going to get worse as the tribulation period comes closer. Best to practice now!! Plus our actions speak louder than words! You know the Pharaoh didn't believe Moses either...right, so Moses threw his staff down, and it changed into a snake....and the Eygptian magicians threw down their staff's and they too changed into snakes....but Moses' staff ATE their snakes. God always wins!! (4:1)...can read all of chapter 4!
4. The excuse of *ability*....Moses said he didn't know how to talk the right words to lead all those people. The Lord had an answer for all his reasons and excuses. God gave Moses abilities to do His work. And God gives us abilities as well...some of us don't use them. And we are wasting them. The Lord will equip each of us with everything we need to do His work...even homeschool our children. Just ask if you need help and He will provide....though not what we want, but what He is willing to give us. He has a master plan after all!! (4;10)
The last excuse....5. The excuse of *availability*.....Moses asked God to send someone else and not him. I can believe that Moses must of been alittle afraid. God's chosen people were many and they had been in slavery for along long time. But we need to trust God. He will see us through everything we find ourselves in. (4:13)
My revelation from this was....I need to wake up. I need to get knowledge and wisdom. Our Pastor said that the word *Christian* has been used so much over the years....that we don't really know what a Christian really means anymore. Many look on Christians with deep hatred. Some have left a negative example of what a Christian should be or act or look like. I am a struggling follower of Jesus Christ....thinking of myself as a follower, made me feel compared to His disciples....and I am lacking much!. And studying the Book of Revelations tells me that I need to be prepared. Times are going to get harder....I need to help equip my children....draw our battle lines......guard my gate - my home. This is going to be difficult, because of the battle that goes on within my home. My husband is not on the same page as me. He has shown no desire to guard his gate. And this was my other realization today. I need to rid myself of any anger I have towards him and work on forgiveness. I need to pray more diligently for him. I need to school myself to watch my reactions and be a living example even to him. And I need to retrain my children as we have fallen like trees against a harsh wind. They have seen us argue and felt his regections to join us. Love is a choice not a feeling. I need to choose wisely and carefully how I am going to act, especially around my children. For I am their sole role model. So today after Church, when my husband picked us up...I swallowed my anger....which is very hard for me to do. I then admitted my sin of anger that I have towards him. He of course didn't answer or say anything. I don't expect alot right now. I just need to pray that I can hold up and not fall down on my face and rip him into wee shreds. The tongue is like a sword and rip it does...right to the heart. And the damage it gives is hard to repair then a kick in the butt.
Blessings from acraisydaisy....I apologize for being SO long. But it was something I really felt led to share. I pray that it will bless someone!! God Bless | 
