• Feb. 28, 2006
Superman

So, we were watching Wife Swap last night. I like that show a lot! Anyways, I got a sneak peak at life with teenage boys (can't wait!), since I have three. They were talking about how much they liked their dad and one of them said, "my dad is Superman" and my son says, "no, my dad is Superman!" Ohhh, it made my heart smile!

A little lesson from the show to myself: Don't forget about my girly girl...but then she is the oldest and would never let me. Thank you for my family G-d!

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• Feb. 28, 2006
Grace

Okay, this morning started out as I left off yesturday. I pushed though, and yelled, and cleaned, hubby went to work. I had many plans for the day of going walking with a freind, and visiting another old high school freind but ended up canceling both as my wee ones were sick. The L-rd blessed us with all four of my wee ones napping together so I took advantage and napped too. I woke up better. We all re evaluted ourselves, committed to stop the yelling cycle and apoligized to each other and G-d, then sang praise songs. It really turned the day around. Thank you L-rd. My 2 year old has thrown up 3 times tonight...I dont do well with throw up, but G-d gave me the strength. Poor thing. Well, I am off to bed, I will see my hubby in the morning. Thank you G-d for your grace when I am so ungraceful!

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• Feb. 26, 2006
J

I have not written in awhile, I need to be better about writing more so that I am not just writing when I am fustrated but also when I am happy, or anything else. I am having a hard time finding a happy place today. I am very overwhelmed. I had my wisdom teeth pulled out on Tuesday and it was very tramatic for me. I was not put out and my jaw bone had to be cut out in four layers. Stitches and the whole shabang. Ouch! No time for recovery really though. Still have four wee ones to take care of and husband who thinks that since I have an owie so does he. Maybe I am being a little harsh. He is great don't get me wrong, but I have soooooo much laundry to catch up on I can't even know where to start not to mention everywhere else I look, all while taking care of wee ones and in pain. Life is hard. So two days after my tooth was yanked we had to give our son J (our 6 month old) a MRI at the hospital. It was scheduled since the day he was born and we were hoping this MRI would just put to rest any fears we might have and we could go on with life since J was so normal in all areas anyways. He was born with a skin tag and a bit of a birth mark on his tail bone. But, come to find out, that is not all it was.

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• Jan. 9, 2006
Hormones

Ok, I am not sure how to curb these overwhelming feelings of jealousy (I think they are hormone relate)! I know they are unreasonably founded and I don't want my husband to know because it is crazy but I want this feeling to go away. I know it is hormones. My husband has not had a job where he has worked with women all day like he does now. I talk to him on the phone and he is talking with her, he prefers working with one particular because she is a hard worker. I have met her she is very nice and I am glad my husband is happy in his job. He is very trustworthy and we know not to ever put ourselves in comparmising situations and I don't see him doing that. I am just overweamed with the fact that he can have full, uninterupted adult conversations with her whearas with me it is a miracle if that happens with four wee ones under 6. I wonder if he sees my as his wife anymore or just the his babies momma. He is a correctional officer and hears everything which makes him all the more untrusting and we don't have a babysitter we can trust. We have relied completely on ourselves. A date would be amazing! So, here I am trying to relieve myself of these horrible feelings through the keyboard so I don't say or do anything uncalled for around my honey. I just want this feeling to go away! I don't think there is a real way to fix this. I just wish there was a way my husband could understand but I don't think there is. I don't even think I understand.

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• Dec. 12, 2005
Pain and Bunnies

I have this pain in my back that just won't let up ever since I gave birth to my fourth child, and to make matters worse, I fell on the ice yesturday and really hurt it even more. I am starting to get really worried that I will end up like my day who is stuck to a wheel chair because of the pain in his back. G-d please help, I can't even sleep.

Well, we got two bunnies yesturday! Very fun and cute. One is black and is so soft to pet. It is a velvet rex, black bunny. The other is brown and white and huge. I have them sleeping in a cage in the dining room because it is so cold right now, but I got "the look" from hubby so I think I won't be able to pull that off too much.

I am in so much pain just writing this, so I will go and come back later!

Oh, let me just say.

Our radiator went out last week: $250

Our furnace stopped working two days ago: $$$

Our washer just stopped working yesturday with dirty wet diapers still in it (not sure what to do about that one and I need diapers!): $$$

Oh L-rd, what are you trying to teach us? Please provide some sort of releif. Thank you G-d.

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• Dec. 7, 2005
Will I ever have a social life again?!!!

Don't get me wrong, I do love my children, but they are so demanding and sometimes outright rude that they will never even let me have one intulectual adult conversation! I am fustrated and needed some sort of social life. I can't talk on the phone, and social gatherings, well we might be there but I can't talk with anyone because my four year old will intentionally make sure it doesn't happen. My two year old has to go potty, my baby needs nursed or changed and then it all starts over again. I am so stressed, because I come home after a day of this in town to find my dog, who my husband left in the house because it was too cold, tore into the garbage, kids room, the diaper bucket, and pottied in my son's room! How do I release my anxiety. So, I nurse, change, change again, feed them all dinner and we are out the door again as soon as I am done we are gone to AWANA and off to pick my hubby up at work since we still don't have a vehicle. I am at the pinacle of stress!!!

Gotta go.

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• Dec. 6, 2005
Car trouble and Blessings

This is pretty good if this is the only trial that I face, but I just have to tell the story:

Where do I begin? You know those awful days when you find out that instead of having money in your account that you were actually negitive in balance and had no idea. That was fun, so the L-rd humbles me and there I am back in high school asking my parents for a loan until the 15th. Yikes! Then my hubby gets to the place to purchase the radiator and he is two dollars short and calls me, like I can do something about that over the phone.:( Well, low and behold they knock $2 off for him and home he comes with the new radiator that was 27 miles away. Then he says I need to drive over and pick up $27 worth of more parts and fill up on gas. So I do. An hour later we are ready to put it in...THANK G-D MY HUBBY KNOWS HOW TO DO IT ALL HIMSELF! He has saved us much money in that area. So, finally putting in the thermistat and then finds out, yes, they gave us the 17" radiator instead of the 19" which my honey and I told them we needed several times, it is even written on the reciept. So, another day without a car. Very agravating and not sure why at this point, that this joke was played on us. But it is not funny. Do they not pay parts people enough to know what they are talking about? This happens to us a lot where they decide to give us the wrong parts, at different stores too. Very fustrating and I know G-d has a purpose in it. So, when I wake up, more cancellations of the days activities and appointments I had.

We did have fun yesturday though...the kids and I. We built forts (sp?) all over the living room and my children decided to make their own recipe of stuff. I told my oldest that they had to write everything down they put in it and here was the ingredients:

Snow...cups and cups full

popcorn seeds

ice

rice cakes...caramel

water

peanut butter

and a peace of bread

YUM...they said it was a milk shake and my two year old drank it down like it was the best dessert ever (minus the popcorn seeds). Poor thing. They tried to get me to drink it, and frankly it was awful but of course all those times of cohersing them to eat what I make, I had to try it, then say if I didn't like it, I didn't have to eat it (my own words backfired). Needless to say I didn't like it even a little:) But the kids had fun, then I made them make choc chip cookies by themselves, phew, it has been a while since our house was this messy. Letting a four and five year old free in the kitchen is funny though. We made some in the easy bake oven and I did the rest in the oven. Then we rated which we liked better. After all this, my daughter tells me she wants to see what daycare is like. Oh, she has no idea how blessed she is, I guess I say that with a little arrogance. I feel like my children are really blessed but don't know it, I guess that comes with age and I hope they know when they are older. But, I sure would miss them and these wonderful, fun, messy days too!

Thank you G-d for your blessings...children!

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• Dec. 5, 2005
G-d has better and different plans

So, I was, and the kids, were so excited to go ice skating today. We decided to take  a family trip to the store last night and on the way the suburban overheated and everything started acting funny if it worked at all. The radiator cracked in four different spots and now I am without a vehicle:( I know to trust G-d, but I am still upset nonetheless! $250 is a lot for us especially with a birthday coming up and the holidays. G-d, even if I never understand, please give me a peace in knowing you are ultimatly always in control and to still be thankful in circumstances I would not have chosen!

Well, I do have tons of laundry to catch up on, and a house to clean, but I think I have that everyday, but now is as good of a time as any to keep up that routine! I am sad.

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• Dec. 4, 2005
holiday gifts

So, I went to a MOPS group on friday...thanks to a friend who reminded me the morning of ;) and was reinforced by the idea of making gifts this year and not belittling the idea. We made cookie mix in jars fot the craft...wonderful idea for MOPS. Then a cookie swap which had some yummy treats on it that I will make. A very dear freind gave me a Snowman's Soup Recipe and here it is:

Snowman Soup Mix

3 cups confectioners' sugar
1 cup nonfat dry milk
2 cups instant NesQuik
3/4 cup nondairy creamer
1 (6 ounce) box instant chocolate pudding

Mix all ingredients in a large bowl and store in
airtight containers.

Add the following instructions to a gift tag:

Snowman Soup

To enjoy, add 3 tablespoons Snowman Soup Mix to a cup
of boiling hot water. Use more or less mix depending
upon size of mug and your taste buds.
 

Sounds like a wonderful thing to send along with a treat tin! Thank you! And there are some neat things I am excited about buying for Hannukah on this link: www.orientaltrading.com. Thanks again Ang!

So, I am feeling better about this holiday season and happy. I think I have said that enough though so I think I will move on.

I got the thank you cards sent from my sons birthday and invites for my daughters done today...YEAH! I am a little weary about the rest of day...lots to do and only two hands. The dog decided to pee on my sons bed. The dog has it out for my 4 year old. Always being a nucance to him. Another dog, was the neighbors, also had it out for him and was bit twice before we had them take it away. One of those fun messy situations. I wonder why that is though? Mhhhh?

Tommorrow we are off to ice skating with my two oldest. I am leaving my two babies with mother-in-law. Never have before so a little nervous, but only for a couple of hours.

Well, better try to be productive for the day!

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• Dec. 2, 2005
AH, the Blessings...Hannakah

Thank you to everyone who commented, I love the feedback and great ideas. I am still very new at this and am not sure exactly how to add to the comments but I will learn as I go and when i have time. I am excited for the holidays this year. So far I am loving the joy I feel inside. Usually I feel a lot of anxiety, but not this year so far. I am excited what the Lord will teach during this Hannakah season for our family and how the Lord will provide for us in our celebrations, considering we are still learning so much about the holiday. It is nice to hear others celebrating it. Does anyone know of a good Bible study or studies for adults and Children on the internet about Hannakah? I am searching for meaningful ways of celebration since it really does not come naturally for me. I was raised in the traditions of Christmas. I welcome all the neat ways any of you treasure the holiday of Hannakah.

Well, on to another subject...we just got two silver dollar fish, and a kissing fish (which does go around kissing the other fish) and another striped fish. They are wonderful to watch and the kids love them. Next week we are going to get bunnies! Very exciting. I love having room for pets and children. I don't know why...my children are so little...but for some reason, I ponder the thought of my family grown up and gone a lot lately and mourn it. A little early, don't you think? I wonder why. It has helped me to treasure this time with my young family and feel really blessed to have such an active and somewhat chaotic house. I feel so blessed that God has given my husband a job and us this land and a home where I can stay home and raise my children. My only concern is my family and I don't have to work outside the home! I am overwhelmed with joy and thankfullness that I can homeschool and raise our family exactly how we choose and that we choose the Lord! I think I am getting emotional right now, but really...THANK YOU GOD FOR ALL YOUR BLESSINGS YOU HAVE GIVEN ME!...A husband is so understanding and not shy to stand up and protect his family. Okay...so the list goes on and on. And what a peace I feel lately. Thanks again God. Well, I have neglected my wee ones long enough to right this, so better stop for now. Love peoples comments though!

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• Nov. 30, 2005
Display piture for my blog page

Can anyone tell me how to edit my photo, so it is not a picture of a barn's roof? I cannot figure out how to upload a new picture.

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• Nov. 30, 2005
Looking for Sanity When Honey is Home

Okay, it cannot just be me who has a hard time doing the things I know I need to do on my husbands days off, right? He has thur-sun off and I can't seem to accomplish anything. What is wrong with me. Any advice? I need to find it in myself to be organized and stay organized. Laundry...I laugh outloud on that subject. Washing for six is getting more and more difficult. My oldest is 5 and so I am afraid these chores are still solely left up to me. AAAAAHHHHH! So, I look forward to his days off, but never seem to get anywhere in them and find myself trying to catch up on EVERYTHING (schooling, cleaning, cooking, laundry, discapline) when he goes back to work. Impossible though. I need to find a good balance that I can do, I seem to wait until something is so bad that I cannot live with it anymore before I make a point to get to it. Bad habit, but it does seem like survival at this point. Being a mama of four babies 5 and under is defintatly a hard task, and it seems as though guilt runs my doings. I always feel behind, always feel I am not enough for my children and don't have what it takes to catch up. Does this feeling ever stop? Does it ever get better?AAAAHHH!!!

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• Nov. 30, 2005
My First Blog

So, this is something very new for me. I did not (and am still wondering, I think) know what a blog really was. But, I think it is a place that I can freely write my thoughts and feeling, frustrations and joys in order to get responses from other so I know I am not alone. There is comfort in knowing your not alone and when others can relate to you then I am reasurred that I am not crazy! Please correct me if I am wrong about the meaning of a blog!

What are gifts people give for the holidays? I am curious. We are on such a tight budget that I think I am going to bake some yummy candies and give them away this year. Does anyone celebrate Hannukah? We do, kind of. I find so much more of the Lord in the traditions of that holiday than I do of the Christmas traditions.

Well, I need to make a pizza now. I love comments, so post anytime!

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