In all I am, do, and will write, my aim is to hit God's mark. I will have moments of being misguided as I am not perfect, but know that I serve a God that loves me through it all.
I was about seventeen at the time. And, it was my turn to bring dessert to the Bible study my family was attending. I was excited to have been put on the list of those responsible to remember to bring the dessert. I felt I had finally been dubbed a woman.
The day assigned to me arrived. I forgot to do it! I was completely humiliated to arrive empty handed. My pride was hit hard. I was devastated and made the mistake of wailing in the car on the way home that I had "failed as a woman." The worst part is that my brothers were in the car and heard me! They haven't let me live it down yet. "Oh, I see you have not failed as a woman again," they tease as I arrive at potlucks or gatherings with a dish in hand.
I vowed never to come empty handed ever again. Over the years, I had developed a basket of recipes for desserts and baked goods in which I was known for. It was not uncommon to receive an invitation to a party or potluck and be asked to being something specifically from my list of known treats. I took great pride in being able to bring something I knew the host/ess loved and wanted at the table.
Evidently God must have felt I put too much pride in my baked goods. He gave me children with a whole slew of food allergies. We have since learned I have many allergies too! I can't make ANY of my known desserts and baked goods! I have been floundering ever since to find at least one signature dessert that someone might request to be brought to a picnic or potluck or something. Instead, when I bring a baked good or dessert, I am asked if it is allergy-free. I say yes, and then no one touches it...except my children and some cousins who have allergies also. Oh, my wounded pride!
This pride stabbing has been going on for over two years now. I have yet to find a signature dessert. Just about a month ago, I gave up. The Christmas gatherings and "rejections" were too much for me. :>) I said to God, "FINE! Have it your way. I give up! Each gathering I'll just bring whatever I have on hand that you have provided. Be it pasta or veggie or fruit. WHATEVER!"
I got put to the test this week. A Ladies' group potluck at a friend's house. I brought a salad...a very yummy salad, I might add. Imagine my surprise when one of my lady friends took one look at the buffet and then at my salad and said, "Oh, is this a 'Holly' salad? It looks delicious!" In my quest for finding a signature dessert, I hadn't realized that God was busy finding a completely different signature...salads!!!! These I can do! And, EASILY! I am so excited to start experimenting with salads!
Now, if I can just keep the pride down. Down, boy, down!
Many Blessings,
Holly
Holly - what a great blog! Very timely too as I've been thinking about meals and wanting to have the "perfect dish" to serve company. I completely forgot about how pride creeps in so quickly in those areas.
Love the - I've failed as a woman! - line. So real, I can relate. :)
Wow, what a defining moment!
I know it is a good thing to be prepared and to never want to make the same mistake again, but you may want to consider forgiving that little girl you used to be.
My "flesh burning" thing I really always remember is when a newer believer at our church (I was a newer member but old believer) told the pastor she felt the Lord had told her I was a witch or psychic. Obviously this was and is completely untrue. I was publically humiliated and "dealt with" according to scriptures. My husband said "if we leave now they will think they were right, so we are staying- and if we leave they will tell the next church we go to". Oh my goodness- that was a REALLY hard time in my life. The looks, judging and condemnation I got for so long after that. We don't go there now, but I know if I showed up they would still look at me like I was evil again.
