Thank you for all of your advice.  I think we may have made a small break through.  My ds now recognizes the sounds and letters for 23 of the 26 letters.  Now if I can get him to realize that these letters and sounds are what we use to read and spell, I'll have won the war.  That's another battle though.  It'll come.  I just keep thinking what would have happened if he went to "real school?"  As it is he reads standing up and has to take several wiggle breaks per subject.  My ds would have been labeled and left behind....so grateful that I am my ds's teacher!