Perfectionists. I know a few. I am related to one (at least one). I think if you know one then you will know what I am talking about. If you are one, you will think I am crazy. I think perfectionism is an illness. Perfectionism puts things above people. It puts the outcome above the process. The only thing that matters is whether something is perfect or not.

There are perfectionist homemakers. The house always has to be PERFECT. Even if the kids are all required to walk on eggshells so they don't mess up the house. Even if the man of the house can't toss his undies on the floor without the wrath of the woman. Martha Stewart would be proud of her closet organization and linen collection. She will spend hours cleaning her house while ignoring her kids.

There are perfectionist business men. Forgot the genius a person possesses. What if he doesn't portray that perfect image?  The right car and suit means everything. And he must work 18 hour days. How else will he get things right? He will spend his life at work while ignoring his family.

There are perfectionist kids. Straight A's all the way. Doesn't matter if they learn anything. He may be star or the football team or she may be the head cheer leader. They have to be everything in order to be anything. It doesn't matter if they are a good friend or a caring person. They have to have those perfect college transcripts.

I believe that perfectionism is trying to show the world that you are good enough. It is an outside trait. It may even be something used to mask our insecurities.

Excellence. Now that is something to strive for. Doing our best. Doing all for God's glory. This will not include putting clean floors before a fun afternoon at the park. Nor will it include sacrificing your family to be the most highly respected business owner. And it really won't mean kids who are more concerned with looking right than doing right. Excellence is from the inside. It is doing your best because YOU are watching. Not because  THEY are watching.

Perfectionism is suffocationg. If you screw up, then you lose. Then you may become what Kevin Leman calls a 'defeated perfectionist'. You are too afraid to move or breathe because you might screw up. So you stop trying. If you don't try then you can't fail.

Excellence is freeing because it allows failure. It allows humanity. We all mess up here and there. I have a firstborn son (a lot of perfectionists are firstborn) who hates to fail. The world crashes down on him if he makes a mistake. I have to give him permission to fail. I have to teach my little perfectionist that failure is a wonderful learning tool. It's ok to mess up. God allows it. He expects it. And "he works all things together for good for those who love the Lord".

Now I have to go clean my house. But I assure you it won't be perfect when I am done. ;)