I had a huge victory in overcoming anger recently and I wanted to share my experience. Someone just e-mailed me about it and this is taken from what I wrote to her. These are most of the steps I took to get where I am now.

"First and foremost make sure you are reading His Word everyday. I really love the Psalms and Proverbs and Galations through Colossions. There is parenting and attitude stuff in there galore. Col 3:12 and James 3:17 (in fact the whole first chapter of James is great) are good memory verses. I feel that we can't get to know him and love him better if we aren't gettting to know Him through his word. It's living and active!
There are several other books I have read that I feel contributed to my growth along the way (of course bc God led me to them). I read the Heart of Anger by Lou Priolo. It helped me to see that I was provoking my kids to anger a lot. That makes parenting really hard. I read Believing God by Beth Moore, Stormie Ormatain's books on prayer helped to jumpstart my prayer life and faith in God. I read Battlefield of the Mind by Joyce Meyer and I want to read Loving God with all your Mind by ?(elizabeth george?). I also did a lot of fasting and seeking God in my spare time (after the kids were in bed). I can't fast from food bc I am hypoglycemic so I fasted from sugar, spending money, SL forums, TV. I heard a great sermon from S.M. Davis about anger too. I remember just coming to the end of myself and telling God I couldn't do a thing without him. I think my *journey* is not necessarily one that someone else can follow to the letter bc your anger might be coming from a different place than mine. I asked God to show me what my problems were through fasting and prayer and the Word and the other books. He helped me see where the issues were and I am certain he can do that for you. I do encourage you to read those books, but I also encourage you to ask Him to lead you to anything else that will help you. Ask him every day to show you if you have any idols or anger toward dh or other family or anyone. And then look out bc when you ask with a sincere heart he shows you stuff and sometimes it stinks! LOL!
What I finally realized in the end was that I was thinking of myself all the time (who doesn't?) We are all royally selfish right? My idol was self and I was resentful of my kids for taking away ME. I wanted what I wanted when I wanted it. No one who knows me would probably even think that but I was very self-focused. I didn't want to die to self to serve my family (how un-Jesus like).

 I also had to learn that I had to hold EVERY thought captive to Christ and I had to learn to tame my tounge. James says that the tounge is a rudder that steers the whole ship. Oh my! When I am not watching my tounge my ship really goes the wrong way. I am teaching this to my kids too. I ask them, "How are we steering our ships today guys?"  That verse in Psalms "Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart, be pleasing to you, oh my rock and my redeemer". I will insist until the day I die that if a person can watch their thoughts and their tounge that they will win most of the battles in every day life. That's where it all starts right? If you don't think to ourselves...
"I can't stand the noise today, I want a break from these kids today, My dh is such a jerk, I can't wait until the kids are grown up and I can be alone, My son is so stubborn and pigheaded", etc, etc
Those are the beginning of a bad attitude, bad day and verbal assaults. We have to take those thoughts captive to Christ. "This kid is such a pain--no wait--I love this kid and he's a sinner like me. He needs guidance and that's my job." That's how we do it. We have started instituting a "do over" in our house. If the thoughts and words and anger are flaring up I stop and call a "do over". We literally say we are starting the day over right now and "forgetting what is behind, straining for what is ahead, we press in toward the goal..." I am really a different person than I was but my flesh still doesn't leave me alone. It rears is head from time to time to see if it can take over again. I have to be vigilant and watchful. Usually when my kids start acting up I know that I must have a tone in my voice or something bc they are so reactionary."

All I can say is that it is good to be free. There was once a time when I was in a rage all day, every day. Every second I had to fight myself not to scream and my family really paid for that. I was that woman who was tearing her family down with her own hands. It was so devastating and I couldn't stop. Satan had a foothold on me. That is hell, let me tell you. Here is the key to overcoming footholds of anger--holding every thought cative, watching our tounge and dying to self. The things about footholds is that they are feeding a sin we harbor. Mine was being selfish. This is a generational sin that I pray will stop here. I want my family to live in freedom.