The last two weeks have been extremely busy.  I had the opportunity to attend training for licensed day care.  It was six days, and it was a huge blessing to me.  (It was also free)  The downside is, that when you are gone six full days, things fall very behind.  I have stacks of papers, stacks of laundry, dishes......but my hair looked pretty good through it all. (see previous post)

So today I've found myself having an incredibly horrible day!  There is so much to do that I'm overwhelmed and don't really know where to start.  Today started with yogurt all over the floor, curtisy of a three year old.  A van with a flat tire.  Me having to transport 8 kids and having to just make 2 trips in the car.  The other mom feeling very talkative while my car is running.  Me noticing that I'm leaking A LOT of power steering fluid.  My husband's workplace calling at 1pm wondering where he was since he was supposed to be there at 11am.  Him thinking he was working the 3pm to 11pm shift.  (But did take time to fix van tire. I love him so!!!)  The steer is out and wondering in the neighbors field!!  Cat turds on the enclosed porch .   Me figuring out that daughter hasn't changed cat litter in awhile.  The eight year old's spagetti all over the kitchen floor, complete with sauce of course.  (No, I didn't say 8yr old spagetti) Good news is the kitchen has been mopped twice today. 

My hair is looking pretty bad today, matches my disposition!  I feel like a bad calgon commercial. (Remember those "calgon take me away...")  Except in my case, I'd have to wash the tub first.

Gee, I'm so glad husband and I decided to start our diet today.  Hope he is doing well...where did I stash that chocolate! 

I think it's pretty typical of moms to neglect themselves, while putting everyone else first.  Many times I've recieved money for my birthday, etc and instead of spending it on something for myself, I've paid a bill...or bought something for school...or for the kids...or something for the house...or even,(gulp), dog food. 

This week, I get to take care of me.  I can't believe how excited I am!   I'm getting an eye exam today, which means I can get contacts again.  (I've wore contacts for years, but when I ran out I had to wear my old glasses)  I hate wearing my glasses!  They always seem to get in my way.  I'm also getting my curly, wild, out of control hair cut.  I may actually get a style.  Lastly, but probably most importantly, I'm going to the doctor for a checkup.  I haven't been to the doctor in years for myself.  I just kept putting it off, finding excuses. (I'll be having my first mammogram  ) 

So, it's the eye doc, the regular doc, and the hair dresser.  Who would have thought that I'd come to the point in my life where these things excite me?  (Sigh)  .....maybe it's just because I'll get out of the house, be by myself, and feel like I'm actually accomplishing something.  Who knows, maybe the "new" me will even feel motivated enough to tackle all the little projects around here.  Hey! it could happen!

Thursday was our groups Valentine Skate.  I was planning on taking the four I'm homeschooling, the two three year olds I babysit, my friends four girls, and my 19yr old for help.  We had it all planned out.  Then reality hit....

In the morning my husband was going to take our car to work.  It wouldn't start.  He was quite stressed.  (which in turn stresses me)  It was decided that he would take my daughter's truck.  He attached the charger to my car and left for work.  I tried to control excitement over the upcoming events, and get some schoolwork done before we had to leave.  About an hour before we had to leave, I went to check on the car situation.  It wouldn't start.  Feeling rather resourceful, I decided to jump the car using our van. 

Even though "Big Blue," (our affectionate name for the van), had been sitting for a couple weeks, she fired right up with no problem.  Unfortunatly, we've had some pretty bad weather within the time the van had been sitting.  The front of the van was an entire sheet of ice.  I pulled the lever to pop the hood, and then realized how silly that was, given the sheet of ice covering the front.  This made me giggle at myself.  I proceeded to get out and find some way to chip the ice.  Our pole barn is slightly unorganized and finding something to chip it with was a challange.  I settled for channel locks.  (I'm not sure if that's how to spell it, but it's impressive that I know what they're called.  I am not known for my mechanical knowledge or abilities)  I was very careful to chip ice and not break the grill.  When I could finally pop the hood, I retrieved the jumper cables and started to hook them up.  I stood there with the cables attached to the van, the other end in my hands, and the car about 2ft too far away.  I shake my head, still able to laugh at myself, and carefully detach the cables.  I got back in the van and carefully inch it forward towards the car.  I say carefully because the windshield is still covered in ice and I can hardly see anything.  When I think I'm close enough, I start to open my door and then realize that I've left plenty of room for a size 4 mom, but I'm a 12 (okay, maybe a 13 or possibly a 14-but that's besides the point)  So, I again inch the van forward very slowly. 

Again, I go thru the motions of getting everything hooked up.  Guess what?  The car wouldn't take a charge.  By this time I'm freezing!  I'm feeling the time crunch, and wondering what to do (I'm also no longer giggling at myself)  "Take the van!" you might say.  Great idea except I had taken the insurance off a couple of weeks ago and the car was blocking it. 

I came back in the house, muttering to myself and hating the fact that my glasses are steamed up,  and had a brainstorm.  I called the insurance company and had them put the insurance back on.  Then I had my 14 & 16 yr olds join me outside.  I had my 14yr old daughter get behind the wheel and put the car in neutral while my son and I tried to push the car out of the way.  (yeah, right) I decide to gently push the car with the van.  Although by now I'm ready to ram the car out of the way.  I was careful.  I was sensible.  I gently inched forward and moved the car.  We all loaded in, picked up the others, and headed off.  I spent the next 3 hours following two three year olds around the rink.  During the hokey pokey and the chicken song, I noticed I was the only mom out there.  What do you think that means?

I don't mind driving "Big Blue".  It's dependable enough.    It seats eleven. (Legally even!!) It has a slight wobble due to the fact that it has a tire that needs replacing.  Oh, did I mention it was made in the year I graduated high school?  That the headliner won't stay up no matter what I try?  That part of the grill is broken due to an unfortunate encounter with a deer?  -And that I'm very thankful to have transportation.  I know many families have only one vehicle.  We have a few.  They just don't all run at the same time.

Still, I can't help but think.....I have a horse.  In fact, we have two.  I never have to charge them.  I paid less for a bale of hay than a gallon of gas.  They're always willing to go when I am.  Could we go back to the days of horse & buggy?  Oh sure, it would be a little cold here in Michigan, but how quaint.  I could make a quilt to cover us....  Perhaps a horse drawn sleigh?

For years I've wanted my children to court.  No dating.  We've watched videos, heard testimonies, and discussed it.  My two oldest didn't necessarily agree.  We were moving along fairly well, until we started hanging out with another homeschool family who did believe in dating.  The influence of others around you can be so strong....

My husband and I had different "visions" of what courtship should be for our kids, and when the parents aren't on the same page.....it just doesn't go well.  I pretty much had the role of "bad cop".   My daughter ended up feeling like she couldn't do anything right.  What we ended up with was this conservative dating wanna be thing going on.  Frustrations.  Hurt feelings.  I just wanted to throw my hands up in the air and say, "Forget it!  Do what you want!"  -but I hung on.  I prayed.  

My soon to be 19 yr old has been "seeing" a girl from our church.  He asked her father for permission to date her.  He intends to marry her when they are done with college.  They don't have a lot of time alone together.  They spend time at her house or at ours.  It seems to be going well.  Thankfully my son has always been able to talk to me, so we talk.  I check in on what's going on.  He asks my opinions.  I pray.

A young man has recently asked my husbands permission to pursue our 18yr old daughter.  It is his intent to marry her.  We've known his family for years, and have watched 4 of his older brothers court and marry their wives.  We've given permission.  We have peace about the whole thing.  I continue to pray.

I honestly think this young man in my future son-in-law.  What a mixture of emotions.  (graduation was hard enough on me)  The way the whole relationship is going, is true courting.  Now my husband understands what I was talking about way back then.  Now my daughter understands why I was such a guard dog.  In fact, just last night, she admitted to me that this was different.  (She had 2 very innocent "boyfriend wanna be's" in the past)  I asked her what was different.  She said, "I don't feel like I'm doing something wrong."  I asked her if things had felt wrong in the past because of my actions.  "No," she said, "it felt wrong because I knew they weren't the one."  She and this young man pray together.  I've been watching her become even closer to God as they seek Him together.  What a huge blessing!  We've discussed how important it is to have both sets of parents' blessing on a marriage.  I pray.

I'm not surrounded by many people who understand courting.  I would say I know homeschoolers who allow very conservative dating.  I'm not saying what is right or wrong.  I just know what blesses my heart.

It seems like our electric bill is always to high.  I'm sure the constant running of our dryer is a big part of it.  At any rate, I can think of many other things I'd rather spend money on.

Last night, my husband and oldest daughter were at school.  My 18yr old was at a friends house.  So I declared, "No Electricity Night"!  My 8yr old said, "YES!"  My 14yr old said, "Let's make it PJ night too." and my 16yr old asked, "Are we going to eat dinner?"

So, we ate by candlelight, in our pjs.  (The ham was a little difficult to cut in the dim lighting)  Afterward, we listened to a story on cd.  (Luckily I had batteries)  They all loved it.  It was so relaxing.  I was saving electricity AND my sanity.

Due to the cold weather there wasn't any public school.  This ment I had 4 extra kids during the day.  I was exhausted.  We hadn't gotten any school done.  By noon I had given up on homeschool.  I was so ready for peace and quiet.  I think we'll be saving electricity more often!  "Pioneer Night"! Is that totally homeschool or what?!

I feel like my christian walk has been quite a rollercoaster.  Years ago I went from being a working mom, who didn't know Christ.  To a stay at home, homeschooling mom.  I'd like to say that I put my hand to the plow and never looked back....but I can't. 

 At times I've felt so close to God.  I've sat amazed in prayer as I've asked Him questions, and He answered before I could even get the whole question out.  At times I've felt so alone, and although I knew He never left, I had trouble finding him.  I've been legalistic, and swung over to a little too "free".  I'm now somewhere in between.  Not quite where I should be, but so much better than where I've been.