Would someone please tell me why it is that when my handsome Mr. Clean puts meat of any kind on a grill it comes out melt in your mouth tender, yet when I do it, it's more like shoe leather?  I can cook almost anything within the confines of my home, but outside?  Watch out!

Lest you think Mr. Clean has some love of the grill or hidden secret grill talent, I assure you he is just a mortal man.  I can put the same steak, chicken or chop (which I previously marinated or seasoned) on the grill at the exact same temperature and babysit it the entire time and then *poof* shoe leather!  Mr. Clean however, will throw a steak, chicken or chop (which I previously marinated or seasoned) on the grill, wander off to play catch or on the playset with the kids, wait until I frantically run outside and remind him there is dinner on the grill and magically...  melt in your mouth perfection!

I am convinced there is some major conspiracy at play here.  My current theory is that there is a league of rogue men (possibly a band of gypsies) who hide in the bushes ready to pounce if they see a female within 3 feet of an active grill.  Once said female steps inside to continue preparing the other courses of the meal or simply glances at her offspring to assure their safety; these band of grill saboteurs go to work.  I have yet to discover their methods, since I have yet to actually prove their existance, but the charred chops seems to be the "smoking meat"...