Aug. 8, 2006 - I loved what you said about trusting -

Posted by homesweethomeschooler

<<I am going to trust. I am going to smile to myself on an early September morning when the school bus rolls by without my children as passengers.>>> I think it is so easy for us to doubt - esp. in the beginning of any new journey. I also think you are very wise to say you will stick it out and trust. I smile as the school bus goes by without my children, too (I do feel bad for the kids on the bus, but God has only given me my children to care for...)....

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Aug. 9, 2006 - I hear you!

Posted by momof4hugsandkisses

My children and I also do not have a lot of close friends. Quite honestly we do not have a lot of the "fair weather" friends either. The only time I really worry about my kids not being social enough is when I hear others talk about all the fun things their children are doing with friends. I never really think about it other wise. While I do wish my children (and I) had a couple of good friends I also think of how happy I am to avoid all those childish fights, the running around, ect that comes with kids and friends. Oh and my oldest son who is ten is in public school and guess what...he has no more friends than the rest of them!

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Aug. 24, 2006 - HI...

Posted by ManyBlessings

I have children that I have homeschooled and they have gone to public school and are now going to private school and we still have to choose their friends wisely. Infact, I just had this conversation with my oldest daughter a few weeks ago. We were discussing that in a lifetime, she would only have MAYBE a handfull of friends that she could go to about anything and they would be there for her. The others were just basically "fairweather" friends as you put it. So, whether public, private, or at home, family is where OUR focus is as well. We have two biological children, two adopted, and one foster, and everyone has someone to entertain them....;0)!! Nice Post.

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Sep. 1, 2006 - Socialization

Posted by giftsfromAdonai

I Love the fact that you said you are going to stick it through.I Have 4 children ages 9 to 2 and they have all been homeschooled and never in the ps system at all.So I just want to tell you my personal opinion on socialization ,I think alot of what people consider to be socialization are just mere opinions.We are all taught that we need friends in order to make it in society.And that is just false.We need to realize that our conception as homeschoolers should be focused on teaching our children to get along with others and begin there socialization with there very own family.We need to teach our kids to get along with each other and others of all ages not just there own age.And when opportunities of friendship arise they can be the wise decision making children we as moms are trying to raise.There is nothing wrong with her not having a ton of friends ,because when she finally does meet someone she is comfortable with creating a friendship with , she will.We are not at tons of meetings and do not have tons of friends around us either and yet I have been told when we go out that our kids a very poliet and well behaved with others.We have tried very hard to teach our kids respect and values and tradition.And there are times where being around others who do not hold those values ,and yet your around them to be more social can actually compromise that gift you are trying to pass to your children of being happy with who they are.So do not worry about how others feel about her being social,you are her mom and if you feel no danger and she is not hurting from this but is simply needing some other activities in her interest.Then support her in that way cause guess what everytime you walk out the door and are around others she is being socialized you dont have her locked away at home.So long as she has likes and dislikes she is fine ,so long as she is learning life lessons ,like the loss of some friends and the differences between a long life friendship and a seasonal one,then she is fine.You are doing just great and dont feel worried or over concerned that she needs to have friends around her .She has a lifetime to find friends that fit her idea of what kind of friend she wants.My son is also 7 and does not have many friends at all,in fact I think most of his friends are relatives.But he has never actually enjoyed to be around certain children.He has always been very cautious of others.In comparison to my other children who are very social with others.He on the other hand says he rather play alone,''because sometimes others dont know how to behave with each other'' now this is my 7 year old saying this.Not to mention the one known as a clown because he loves doing silly things to make others laugh,He will approach other children,However he will make a swift decision on wether or not this is someone he wants to hang out with or not.Which has landed him lesser heartache then my other son in friendships.But again we emphasize to them they have a lifetime for friends now is when they have to figure out who they want,and see the difference between the two.So I hope you continue to feel as you do with the thought and knowledge that she is perfectly fine.When she comes to you with a concern on this topic ,I know you will answer her as a mom with love for there child.So no worries.hey maybe her and my sons or soon to be 6 year old daughter could be blog friends,or penpals.Those to can be good friendships.Blessings to you and your home ,you are on the right track ,no frets!!

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Sep. 26, 2006 - Untitled Comment

Posted by Shari

I ran across your blog and thought I'd add in my two cents, for what it's worth. I sometimes think that we as HOMEschoolers have forgotten the importance of home. Kids don't need to have lots of friends outside of the home. Look at these two verses. Proverbs 13:20 He who walks with the wise grows wise, but a companion of fools suffers harm. Proverbs 22:15 Folly is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of discipline will drive it far from him. Basically, children are fools and having your children spend lots of time with other children will only cause harm. They need to be with their parents (the wise ones~right?).

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Sep. 28, 2006 - Good for you!

Posted by Barbie

It is important for us to remember that our children learn from everyone that they meet, good or bad. They should be doing the most learning from us...their family - their parents and siblings. My oldest learns compassion and patience from his younger siblings and my youngest learns acceptance and grace from his older siblings. All the middles learn their lessons, and teach them as well. Outside socialization is nice...when it works out for the good of the family. Keep on with your stand. Beginning year doubts abound...as due those late January, early February doubts, too. Your daughter will be just fine. She'll make friends and carry them with her when God brings them into her life.

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Oct. 4, 2006 - My family can totally relate!!!!

Posted by mommyof3girlies

i have an 8 yr old and tend to worry about her not having many friends it too much, she is shy like her mama. She has 1 friend in the same grade who also is homeschooled, we don't get together that much since we only have 1 vehicle. There are not really many girls in the neighborhood, we need to be careful who are children hang out with. A new girl moved in some months back, my daughter asked her if she wanted to play, she said no! i think she's shy also...my daughter was okay with her answer...i felt bad for her but i think it really didn' t bother her..so i'm glad..... We pray for her and hopefully they can become friends...We see her ride past our house and look at our window (maybe she wants to be friends) recently we have been getting together with other couples and their children. my girls have a blast, it may be once a week. i think that's a good start After reading the other comments left..i can say i feel a lot better, my girls do need to work on getting along with each other (one reason we are homeschooling--to work on character) blessings to all.....julie

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Nov. 1, 2006 - A very late comment...

Posted by ThreeLittleLadies

I personally think that childhood friendships are too highly overrated. The school social scene is horrendous if you remember. I've had both of my girls in private school, and it was this "socialization" that was the biggest drawback! The girls especially would play these games - "I won't be your friend if...", or "Don't talk to C, because she isn't my friend anymore". Isn't it much better to have the children at home where their main source of friendship is their loving family? Where they can learn social norms in a profitable way? The friends you invite over can be managed and handpicked and watched by you. I think it would be a BIG mistake to put your children in school for "socialization". I too was a wall-flower, sensitive, etc. I have memories of only frustrating school social life. Being in school doesn't make you all of a sudden have "friends". The friends I did have in school were come and go also. Very few of them even keep in touch these days, and the ones who do, do only at MY instigation. Right now church is the main place my children meet other children. Even so, those social relationships aren't ideal, sigh. My children aren't deprived. I think they are blessed to be around people who love and respect and build them up everyday. When my children are grown, I hope their main source of relationships are still us and each other. Okay, I've rambled on enough. I hope you are doing better about this now anyway. If you ever need to talk...email me, or post a comment. I find this board is a great way to make good friends. Carol

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May. 11, 2007 - Isolation

Posted by JF

I too am homeschooling my children ages 8, 5, and 2. I was the very quiet person in school--I watched everyone else. From the outside I appeared normal but on the inside I was dealing with the same confidence issues, etc. that most everyone else deals with during their childhood/adolescent years. I know now that being quiet back then and watching others go through all the silly trials and tribulations that school girls go through (they are a big deal then, but silly when you think about it now) my gift of discernment was being shaped. My husband is the only one who truely can see this.This has taken years of experience through being married to me and experiencing my being right about people and situations for him to understand. Throughout school I had only one or two very close friends--and they were school friends--not the life long kind. I too get concerned about socialization but its only when we seemed to get bogged down with same routines, etc. I get anxious some days because I feel like we should be doing more--and even more anxious because "I" am the planner of all activities, socials, etc. I sometimes get the "it's time to go back to school" bug when my house has been in dire need of cleaning or the boys just can't seem to get along or the all too often "I'm bored" that I hear. But something on the inside says to stick it out. We are doing the right thing. As a whole, they are benefiting staying home as long as possible with me--because they are getting my influence -not every other kids--and might I add grumpy teachers who are only there for the paycheck and the time off. All three of my children are social. I have always been an introvert, but that is not a bad thing. I agree, it is lonely sometimes, but I have no interest in the fair weather friends either. We actually just recently joined our first homeschool group--which was for the children-but because of constant schedule rearranging and when activities are scheduled--people not showing up on time--means we probably won't renew for next year. I am just not a group person but I thought by joining one we could connect with others who were somewhat likeminded. I think I will go back to trying to network with a couple of other families and keep it small for now.

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Oct. 10, 2007 - Untitled Comment

Posted by setapipes

Hey. I've just happened across your wonderful blog. Your last two entries sound so much like my own thoughts re: homeschooling. It's been a great adventure, though, and I love having my family with me all the time. That part has been fun. But, like you say, there are many challenges. God will definitely answer your prayers for clarity! Take care, Jennifer

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