On my way back from the store this afternoon I was thinking about the children. Specifically, the kinds of extra curricular activities we want them in, and how to handle that. I realized as I was pondering these things, that I am always thinking about the children. Everywhere I go online, it is either a parenting or homeschooling board (well, except for facebook I guess but usually even there I only post things about the children ). Or I'm scrapbooking pictures of the children when I have the time, which isn't often anymore. Every book or article I read is about mothering or parenting or homeschooling. During our days, we are always together. I keep them close to me, almost always within 3 feet of me all day unless they are having rest time or sleeping. We talk and play and interact and teach all. day. long. They teach me just as much as I teach them.

They are my everything. God is my purpose, Chad is my best friend and what keeps me going, but the children are my everything.

Most of my thoughts center around the children- what fun things to do, how to be a better mom, what to teach them, how each one needs to improve in certain areas, how to better encourage them, how they're feeling and what they're thinking. Throughout all of those thoughts, I'm praying for wisdom and God's help in this colossal task of raising these little people. I definitely have a direct line to God through my children, because I am so desperate for His help to do the right thing. Mothering can be a very spiritual experience.

I truly believe that I have waited my entire life for this. From the time I was very young, there has been nothing more I've wanted than to be around babies and children. Mothering is so much more intense and so much more...fulfilling than I could have ever dreamed.

I am going to say some things that are not politically corrrect but since this is my space to write and share, I can do that here.  Most of the time I am treated like a freak for having "so many" children, and for homeschooling, as every mother in my situation can identify with. People don't understand and can be downright hateful towards somebody who chooses to accept children, or who chooses to homeschool. Those are the 2 biggies, but of course there are smaller issues within that lifestyle that are also judged and ridiculed, but that is a post for another day. People think we're irresponsible, or lazy (I guess they assume we're too lazy to figure out birth control, or to drive our children to school...?), or mentally unstable, or just plain stupid. We have had family members and friends shun contact with us and completely cut us off because they're so angry and cannot understand why we make the decisions we do. There have been times when I, too, don't understand why we do this. I've thought about going back to work, and I have worked in the traditional sense since having children. I often wonder what it would be like to have a fulfilling outside career. I am sure it would be easier in many ways to be gone from the children each day.

But then I look around, and remember that this is the life God has given me. And these little people will greatly suffer if my attentions and energies are elsewhere. I am not confident in many of my abilities as a mother, but I do know that children desperately need their mother's vigilance and protection. I don't understand how most mothers seem to completely ignore that. That may sound like a loaded and judgmental comment, but it honestly blows my mind how parents can virtually abandon their children, just because that is the social and cultural thing to do. If the children are not in school, they're in extracurricular activities. If they're not in extracurricular activities they're in their room alone or at a friend's house. This is the way most of us were raised, and how many of my peers are raising their children.

Many parents are able to send their children to school in a good conscience, Chad and I are not. Knowing what we do about our school experiences as children and what we learned and didn't learn in all aspects of life through our 12+ years in traditional schooling, we cannot send our children there. That doesn't mean we don't have breakdowns like at the beginning of last fall and question it, and try it out again, but it always comes back to realizing our goals for this family.

All of that to say, God is bringing me to a point of realizing just what this verse means...

But women will be saved through childbearing—if they continue in faith, love and holiness with propriety.  -1 Timothy 2:15

and I'm realizing how true it is for me. I am saved from the anger that I am prone to, because these little faces around me all day are crushed when I take on an angry tone or manner. I am saved from boredom. I am saved from a life with no true purpose. I am saved from a hard heart because my children keep me so tender. I am saved from worldly pursuits because my children need me here protecting them. I am saved from bitterness and profanity and obscenity because I don't want my children following in those footsteps. This is all a process and I certainly have not arrived, but I see myself being saved from all of these things.

I wonder how different the world would look if every mother took her role seriously and decided to devote her life to protecting, sheltering, teaching, and loving her children with a godly love. Being at home with them, not sending them off, not abusing them with her anger or abandoning them for her own outside fulfillment. I wonder if it would make a difference.

Posted by Sheri aka kitchenmaid

Phooey on being PC. I happen to agree with you.Sure, the kids can drive a mom nuts but so can working outside the home! I love your thoughts.