Jul. 10, 2007 - Ahh...Summer
It is about the end of the AmeriCorps year. We had a meeting today in which we were asked to talk about our greatest challenges and accomplishments in three minutes. That hardly scratches the surface. I never doubted the good that would come out of this year, especially for the students that I was working with. And I have worked with students long enough to know that means I would be changed as well. However, I realized that I have been overcoming a problem that has nothing to do with AmeriCorps, but with myself. I have very little self disciplne in certian areas. One is food. Another is time management. And money. Okay, there has been no big change in the food and money departments, but I am beginning to try. Perhaps that is change enough for now.
But I am coming to the end of the year. I stuck it out. There were days I wasn't sure if I would, or could. To me, that is my biggest accomplishment, and an unexpected one at that. I have had jobs before, but never that lasted really long. I was never fired, I just quit because of different circumstances in my life at the time. School. Pregnancy. Stress. I never needed to stick it out. But this, well, this was different. I was determined to make all those hours away from the kids worth it for us in the long run. Yes, I get the education award, and that was my motivating factor for doing this. But it was hard. Really hard. Hard to balance work, school for Angel, moving, life in general and still work full time around all that. And my heart sure wasn't in it like it is in homeschooling or taking care of my family. There were many days I came home too tired only to find myself behind at home and having to press on. Too many mornings that I wanted to shut off my alarm and sleep for hours, days even. I have seen my desire for the things I love take a back burner to the things that demand my attention. I have not had the time to read a lot or scrapbook at all. I feel like the demands of life have sapped my creative energy. I am actually GLAD that I am not directing VBS this year, which is wierd because it is my joy to do so.
On the other hand, the sweet sense of accomplishment is incredible. I am almost there. I have perservered. Go me!! I have been looking at this as a two year commitment, and now I am half way through. It is as though I have trudged upward all year and now I am at the top of the mountian looking down, awaiting the wind whipping through my hair on the fast ride down. Perhaps this coming year will take my breath away, but each hour is another notch on my belt and I will be ever closer to my goal. Smooth sailing from here!
Comments
Oct. 24, 2007 - Untitled Comment
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