Nov. 6, 2008 - Superhero Central
Our house is Superhero Central. A Watch Tower located on Earth. And we are not only populated by the Justice League, but any superhero you can imagine and some that are unimaginable excpet to my children. Take Isaac for instance. He can be Batman, Spiderman, Bibleman, Buzz, The Hulk, and a handful of other heros, or any combination of costuming and superpowers. Sometimes he whips off a costume to reveal yet another hero underneath. He has no mild mannered alter ego, however, because when not in costume he is Super Ike. Always ready to swoop in and save the day.
And Angel and Faith are not left in the dust either. They have been all of the above on a couple occasions, but they prefer to make up their own heros. Angel is Angel with all the powers. No, one is simply not enough. Two or three, that is to be scoffed at. She has them all. You name it, she has it. You make it up, she takes it. And Faith, of course, has the power to became any animal and has the powers that animal has. There are some animals she only turns into for fun not the defense of the planet. An aardvark, for example, really has no special power, but it is fun to say. And the only real power Ihave seen the dolphin come up with is a loud high pitched sound that is meant to peel off the wallpaper.
As they were playing superheros the other day, I got to thinking about what superpowers would be pretty cool. Aside from my sarcastic wit and sense of irony, what powers should I have? Isaac is convinced that I have a Mom Sense- a tingle that tells me when he is about to do something he shouldn't. I think all mothers share that power. And x-ray vision. I know what they are doing upstairs when I am in my room putting away laundry, or in the kitchen making supper. Add to that super sonic hearing for all those times I hear what is called nothing but I can pinpoint the sound and the offender from a great distance. And mind reading ability for I can tell if they ask for tape, string and if I have seen the cat I know they are up to no good. I have more detailed abilities also. For instance it takes a doctor years of training to tell you what is ailing someone. I can tell you from a dead sleep with no proir info or warning not only what is wrong, but with which kid and why you should run for a bucket. At the slightest cough in the middle of the night when my x-ray vision is not its sharpest because I do not have my contacts in and therefore can only see as well as, let's say, a cross-eyed mole, and I can't even find the glasses I had on right before I laid down for the night, I can locate the Vicks and the humidifer that we have not seen for 6 months. I may step on every small toy in the house in the process, though. I also have super other vision because I can find the other. Doesn't matter if it a shoe, glove, soccer ball, or child. If someone in my house can find one, the other is my responsibility. I have a mess-o-meter that helps me locate the messes that no one else seems to be able to see but yet they can conviently step over. I also come equiped with a two-way voice locator. I can pinpoint the location of my child by the slightest sound, even when they are hiding in WalMart. And they locate me by screaming through the house. Now that I am pregnant I have the 3-2-1 Penguin made popular super gravity belly, also. With that particular super power I have the amazing abilty to run into things with my belly that should be too far away for it to reach and it seems to draw peoples hands like magnets. I also use it to knock the lids off crock pots at potluck dinners and baby showers.
So, despite the fact that i persistanly wear my underpants on the inside of my clothes, only wear tights when hard pressed, and do not regularly wear a cape, do not be fooled into thinking that I have no special powers. I am cleverly disguised as a pregnant homeschooling mom who can't even find her own van keys. As quick as Superman can locate a phone booth, however, I turn from my mild manner alter ego into Super Mommy.
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