Home's Cool with One

SKG... first date

Since I am a homeschooler I thought it might be worthwhile to actually write about my experiences with regards to the education of my child, here on the Homeschool Blogger.

I believe homeschooling is important, not only for academics, but especially for character issues.

While at a homeschool conference last year, I came upon the Generations of Virtue booth and found a treasure of information and tools...  it combines the newest, cutting edge resources and the "classics" on these subjects: ideas and approaches to courtship, raising leaders in purity, and child development.

http://www.generationsofvirtue.org

We are starting with SKG = Secret Keeper Girl

The concept is to take your duaghter on 8 special dates, just mom and daughter.

Where you will discuss the power of true beauty and modesty. The goal to pamper you and your 8-12 year old daughter with eight easy-to-plan dates focused on genuine beauty. Some of the dates include a facial, an art show, a beauty salon visit and a shopping spree...

Our first date was a tea party.

Even though my 9 year old does not like tea, I wanted to follow the program as it was laid out. So I reserved a table at a special cafe' that holds a tea party every Monday afternoon. It came with a hefty price tag, so I imagined it to be exactly what we were looking for.

Beforehand we stopped at a local salon had our nails and hair done -- what a treat!

Then it was off to the Tea Party. When we arrived they had a rack of vintage hats for us to wear - oh this is going ot be fun!

We were seated at a table with beautful lace tablecloths, and tea was served in beautiful fine china tea cups - perfect!    This is what the book layed out was the perfect setting..

The concept was to have my daughter served tea in a very beautiful tea cup, then I would bring out a ceramic mug and ask how she would like to have tea in this cup... but I am moving too far ahead, I'll get to that in a bit...

So the tea is poured and her face immeditely squinches, that look the  all moms know.. it means, there is no way I am trying this and if you make me I will make a scene...

I encourage her, anyhow, I put 4 sugar cubes in her cup... and to her credit - she took a sip - not enough to really taste the tea- and then she said "yuk" --- ugh... now what do I do? She is supposed to be feeling pretty special about herself by this point - wearing the vintage hat, sharing a special day with mom ,sipping tea out of a fine china tea cup...

Only instead, every moment is telling her she does not belong here...

What do I do??

I asked the waitress if she could bring some lemondade in a tea cup - whew!! date saved... perhaps...

Then the first plates of treats begin to be served, muffin bread, she usually loves them, but these were dry and filled with herbs, like sage and thyme - not a kids favorite flavor - I'm thinking where's the lemon poppyseed or blueberry?  I ask the waitress to keep the refills on the lemonade flowing --

Thank goodness for the lemonade - I try to encourage my daughter (and myself) that the next plate of treats will be good...but then, the balloon begins to deflate even more,  out comes plate -- watercress sandwiches, smoked salmon on a dillweed  creamcheese spread?? There is nothing on this table that is making her feel special - I am feeling pretty defeated by this point.

- The object of this lesson is that she is Gods masterpiece - the tea (china) is to represent the quality of how valued she is...how can I help her to believe this is a good thing we are doing when she sees no value in hot tea or cucumber sandwiches with bitter greens...

By this point, I find myself apologizing to her, trying to explain the intention, and in her sweetness, she holds my hand and tells me how special she feels just having the time together... what a special young lady.

So, I  take the moment to instill the lesson about feeling priceless...

I pull out a ceramic mug and begin to ask how she would have felt being serve tea in the mug - by her response, I realize the tea party is not giving her the word picture she needs...

Then in a moment God gives me something... 

I ask her about an upcoming class on manners, where the girls are all to bring a place setting to class to learn how to properly set the table - and she lights up... she is so excited about this class.

My mind is racing... I got it!!

I ask her - what the other girls bringing to class - and she begins to tell me all about the special items they are bringing.

Oh!  I am thinking, this could work, so I proceed to instill the lesson.

First, I ask her if she would like to bring the everyday dishes we use, they are nice and if they are dropped it won't cost much to replace them.

She, being ever complient, with a slighly downturned face, tells me that would be "ok"...

Then, I suggest maybe she could just take some paperplates and plastic flatware...

She rolls her eyes and proceeds to tell me, in an - please don't embarrass me-   tone of voice... "It has to be real dishes, mom"

I cannot believe it -- it is working!! 

I thought the tea party was a bust -- now I have her primed and ready for this lesson, that she is valued - a masterpeice created by God... so I proceed, praying she gets the message...

I tell her I have an idea that I think might work... now, remember, I have mentioned everyday dishes and paper plates, so by this point, she is not too trusting of my response...

How about if I let you take Gram's china? 

She lets out a squeal, it surprised the older ladies at the table next to us... 

"Really mom?  Oh that would be so amazing..."

and then she started talking -in that language that only girls can do - hyperspeed !!

"I promise I'll be careful, I will have the teacher help me, Oh I am going to have the prettiest table setting there- Oh thank you! Thank You!!"

BAMM!!  It worked!!

After she settled down, I brought out a small gift - which included a journal - provided by ...SKG  So I asked her a few questions about the dishes...

How did it feel when I suggested taking the everday dishes?

She responded, "I understood why you thought that was a good idea, and I would have done it mom... really. "

Would you have felt special brining them to class?

Probably not - just ordinary.

How about the paper plates? 

"I would have been totally embarrassed, no way!!"

And what about the being able to bring Gram's china"

I" feel so special that you trust me - they are so beautiful and my friends will know how special I am too..."

I proceeded to bring forth the Bible lesson and the underastanding that she is precious a masterpiece sunk in!!

My daughter been given a gift, one that she won't soon forget, and one at we pray will carry her through those moments that can be treacherous for young girls moving into womanhood.

A successful date indeed!

Which by the way, ended with a prayer and chocolate covered strawberries!!