He leaves me wordless! So precious!
©AmandaDixon2009
David Brooks examines how cell phones have changed the dating game.
Once upon a time — in what we might think of as the “Happy Days” era — courtship was governed by a set of guardrails. Potential partners generally met within the context of larger social institutions: neighborhoods, schools, workplaces and families. There were certain accepted social scripts. The purpose of these scripts — dating, going steady, delaying sex — was to guide young people on the path from short-term desire to long-term commitment.As a parent, we've encouraged our young adults to establish appropriate guardrails which will help them navigate the temptations that are ever before their eyes. But it isn't easy for them or us. We understand the traps that lay before them that could derail their hopes and dreams, but frequently our young people only see another "friend" to add to their growing list.
Over the past few decades, these social scripts became obsolete. They didn’t fit the post-feminist era. So the search was on for more enlightened courtship rules. You would expect a dynamic society to come up with appropriate scripts. But technology has made this extremely difficult. Etiquette is all about obstacles and restraint. But technology, especially cellphone and texting technology, dissolves obstacles. Suitors now contact each other in an instantaneous, frictionless sphere separated from larger social institutions and commitments.
In the "Happy Day's era as Brooks identifies it, a young man thought longer before he reached for a phone and called a girl. More importantly, the ring of the phone and one-side of the conversation were heard throughout the household. Now, the instantaneous access to a new friend through cell phones makes it easy, very private, and speeds up the courtship process. Add in social networking sites like Facebook and young adults quickly learn what their new friend's favorite food, music, song, and a whole lot more before the first date. They become emotionally bonded and "in a relationship" before parents and others in their social sphere know they even exist.
Even parents like us, who have encouraged our children not to commit to a long-term relationship until they are ready for marriage are struggling how to navigate these waters. The only "script" seems to be written by the next generation as they go along, eliminating many safeguards that prevented heart break or at least softened the blow.
God said it was not good for man to be alone, so He created woman and said it was very good. We created technology that has become our constant companion and what is happening to our generation because of it isn't so good.
-Spunky
Cross-posted, with permission, from SpunkyHomeSchool
"Obviously, you're a pretty direct person," He said. "So I was wondering, how does a guy who knows nothing about homeschooling sell his product to homeschoolers?"
Ignoring the fact that this out of place "greedy capitalist" was there just to make a profit, I chuckled and asked him, "Why do you think homeschoolers would even want to buy your product if you know absolutely nothing about us?"
He didn't seem to want to answer that, so I continued, "Get to know us a bit and you'll figure out it's not that hard to sell to us. We're pretty frugal but can be gullible in the right circumstance with a promising product, especially at a homeschool convention."
"Fair enough." He replied. "Then I'd like to show you my stuff and see what you think. But first there's one thing I've been wondering about homeschoolers for quite a while now."
"Oh, and what is that?"
"Why do you homeschoolers have so many kids?"
"Umm, gee, maybe it's because we have more exciting things to do than watch Jay Leno after the kiddos go to bed?!?" (Okay, I didn't really say that but I did think it.)
Instead, I politely tried to explain that for some of us homeschooling isn't just an educational choice but a life decision based on a belief that children are as a blessing from God. He wasn't getting it and I was getting hungry so the conversation quickly died of natural causes.
If I ever run into him again, however, I'm sending him over to Ethan Demme (of Math-U-See fame) who gives a much more thoughtful and complete answer to the question, How do I reach the homeschool community? His post is directed at politicians but he starts from the same premise that you have to know something about us, past and present, in order to reach us.
As a homeschool grad and marketing guru, Demme provides an excellent round-up of information and resources to understand this growing but changing movement of homeschool radicals who actually believe they can teach their children at home and live to blog about it. Check it out and keep in handy if you ever run into my vendor friend at your state homeschool convention.
(Note to Demme: Please add a paragraph on fecundity and homeschoolers, thanks in advance.)
-Spunky
Cross-posted, with permission, from SpunkyHomeSchool
It was really fun! (the Estabrooks hold an Apple Gala every year) We mainly played outside games like, Ultimate Frisbee, Capture the Flag, Freeze tag and Football. (there were probably....at least 50 kids there)
Mr. Estabrooks made apple cider with his 100 year old apple machine thing. It was really good! 10 or 12 of the people brought pies for a contest. (It was the "Best Pie Contest")
After it got dark, and everyone went inside, we all (the kids) played card games! We played Uno and Rummy. (from what I saw)
Sunday, we went to the Marcums' house for our friend, A.J.'s Birthday! He was turning 21!
Mrs. Marcum made a huge rib and pot roast feast. They were the juiciest most tender ribs I had ever had.
After we ate, Paulie, Luke, A.J., Mike, A.J.'s sister Emily and her husband Josh, and I went outside and played Football and Ultimate Frisbee. It was really fun!!
Mrs. Marcum made 2 big German Chocolate cakes! (A.J.'s favorite I guess)
After everyone left (except us and Mike) Mike, Paulie, Luke and I played Rummy for like.....2 hours or something. We had a great time over at their house! Thanks, Marcums!!
Beav
....again.... It seems as if I might want to camp out in Chapters 3 and 4 for a bit. I've been mulling over these words, "But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on..." (Philippians 3: 13b-14a)
Life seems to be a journey in the desert right now. I've been comparing it to the 40 years that the Isrealites wandered in the desert before entering the promise land. While there are no pressing trials, there are still thorns from years of fiscal struggle poking unrelentlessly, and life seems stagnant...almost still. There's really no good option to pluck these thorns from our life, and yet I know they're there, and am reminded, at the most inopportune times, that they're there. It's a battle with an overpowering opponent and I'm given no obvious and immediate weapon. And despite it's potentially crushing weight I'm determined to live joyously and with victory.
So reading Paul's words encourages me to continue straining forward. The reality is that I'm not defined by these thorns, and that my Savior knows full well they are there. He's heard my prayers for victory for years. The greatest defeat would be living bitter, scared, sullen and resentful. At that point, my earthly trials would be trumping my eternal reward. Where is the vision of hope and future?
When the Israelites were wandering there had to have been a vision of hope. Hope that is less self-centered, but more generational driven. After all, only the new generation was allowed to enter Israel. What would be the goal of walking and wandering for them if it was only based on their own life? They'd never get the earthly reward. However, there children, and their children's children, and on and on - would reap rewards for their faithfulness. Of pressing forward, of obedience, repentance, and listening to the Lord.
Parallel that to my life, the vision needs to be not only mine, but also one for my children. A life vision rooted in the Lord. Living defeated and burdened by fiscal thorns that I can't attack now would, in a sense, rob my children of the parent that they need now. I've had to learn to let go, to forget, and press forward. Faithfully doing what I can to resolve issues, and if nothing can be done now, letting myself release any anxiety to the Lord.
I can't imagine how Paul felt. Here he persecuted the very people that He was now working to bring to Christ. I'm sure that it would be easy to allow guilt to plague his thoughts and slow his mission. Imagine the weight of his errors, the lives lost. And, yet, he allowed himself to move forward straining to a goal that is centered on Christ. This life is hard. I can truthfully tell you that. I've spent my share of time being angry and questioning the love the Lord has for me. And then, humbled by His amazing and undeserved love, I've been redeemed by His grace - not of me - but from Him. Despite all the trials, losses, and defeats He is still worthy of praise. And not just a wimpy voice, but a surrendered life screaming "ALLELUIA!"
So I press on. Enjoying my son's sixth birthday today. Laughing with my children. Praying to the Lord. Praising Him. Forgetting. And living a life of joy from Him.
Blessings friends,
Rachel
Samuel and Me
I'm In Love
Isn't he the CUTEST?!
©AmandaDixon2009
I am so blessed by God to have another sibling to love, to watch grow up and to TRY to be an example of how to live as our Messiah did!
Thank you God for the blessing of this precious babe! Such an awesome Shabbat this has been!
©AmandaDixon2009
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Ahh...yes...the inevitable question that occurs AFTER I tell the stranger that I'm blessed with seven children. So often I'll be at the store with just Samuel, and someone will ask me if it's my first baby. Part of me hesitates for just a moment thinking that maybe I'll simply say yes, but then I'll reconsider and bravely admit that I am a mother of seven. And that I love it. And that I'm happy. And that I'm not crazy! After all, I'm walking around Target, with a Starbucks in hand, Levi Jeans on, and a big box of Pampers resting underneath a bulging cart. (I would think that might give a tiny clue to our family's size!) Anyways, typically after they find out my family's size they want to know how I handle it. Day by day. And I tell them, it's a day at a time, and my children, all children are a gift from the Lord.
Still, there are days when I want to throw my hands in the air and cry, "I give up." You know the days...days when the milk is spilled-twice, when there's marker on every wall, when that math concept just doesn't make sense, when the truck doesn't start, when there's absolutely no option for lunch, a new bill, etc... I've lived those days. I've lived through my dh's cancer treatment, through financial crisis, through other health crises, through new babes, etc...and yet, sometimes, the toughest days are those days filled with nitty-gritty, irritating, and yet wearing, problems. And those are the days where I've had to learn to surrender. I've had to give up my agenda, again, and look to the Father for guidance. Maybe it's not all that important that we complete that math page, but what is important is that I help my four year old wipe up spilled milk, give him a hug, and praise him for trying.
But how? When I'm in the midst of overwhelm it's so hard not to operate overwhelmed. Throughout the last several years the Lord has been teaching me that He is the priority. He's my breath...even in parenting. So I've started to pray throughout the day. I pray when Samuel cries, or the boys are fighting, or my teenage daughter is frustrated with Algebra. Do the problems go away? Most of the time not. But my inner mood shifts. It shifts to an attitude that is less dependent on self, and more dependent on serventhood. You see, I really believe that parents today are given a rare and special opportunity to raise a generation of children totally sold on Christ. Future men and women that are willing to be Kingdom Warriors. And training warriors takes work, time, and perseverence. It's a time of dying to self, and giving yourself to your children. There are moments when the last thing I want to do is read that phonics reader, and yet, I pick it up and relish the joy my six year old gets when he recognizes sounds. We live in a culture of self. That culture is so often shocked about the number of kids I have because it seems obvious that I don't get much self time. And, in reality, I don't...but that's okay. Someday these seven arrows living in my house will be gone. I desire to look back at the years that they were in my house as years where they remember their mother enagaged, active, and joyful to be around them.
So how does this relate to the "you have how many kids question?" I've been quite convicted to make sure that my answer and responses to the various family-sized questions is to ALWAYS be a light for Christ. And in that, I phrase my answers that children are blessings. I admit that there are hard days, but I also take time to encourage that young mom with two kids. Seriously, it was much harder when I only had my two little toddlers. So I let them know that, along with the importance of recognizing the great gift they are being given by being a mother to the children hanging off their cart. And I tell them (if they're still asking) how my large family is a gift from the Lord. After Todd's cancer treatment we were told that we probably couldn't have any more children. And the Lord has blessed us with two little boys....whose names mean "gift from God" and "the Lord has heard." He's really heard my heart these past years. The journey has been anything but straight, and yet, he's been the one directing my path. Man, if I had charted my path, life would have been so much messier. And probably without these little men to raise for Him. Alleluia to our Amazing Lord!
So whereever you are today...with many kids or just one...take time to look at your child through the lens of the Lord. You are the perfect and chosen parent for that child. Embrace that truth. Lift it to the Lord with gratitude and thanks. Pray to Him for wisdom and discernment. Simply pray.
And, if you run into me at Target some time, I hope that my cheerful countenance brings joy to your day. And, hopefully, you'll have some spare time to sit and chat with me in their Starbucks.
Rachel