I found myself feeling swamped and stressed last week and couldn't seem to shake it off. In the back of my mind, I'm anxious about the conference in May and hoping I'll pull off the sessions I'll be involved in. I've often found that when I'm anxious about one thing, my mind snowballs all sorts of things that normally wouldn't bother me into monsters. I felt tired and quick to cry. I mean, just standing in a book store and coming across a touching story was enough to make my eyes water although I was in a very public spot. On Friday morning I woke up feeling as if something just had to change or I'd fall apart.

I don't know what made me think of it, but late that afternoon I asked my husband and children if they'd mind if I slept away from home that night. They didn't mind. In fact, the kids were quite excited about the idea of having a take-away tea and hiring videos with their Dad. Having decided, I wasn't sure where to go. I ended up booking myself into a very nicely priced little motel half way into the city. I've never done anything like that before but my spirits already began to lift as I packed a change of clothes and bundle of books into my overnight bag. It felt really weird walking into the reception to sign the papers, because I'm so used to waiting in the car while Andrew does that whenever we're away. Then, the man told me that the people into the room next to mine had parked in my parking space, so I'd have to use theirs. I could see why they'd done that. The one left for me was the tightest, most awkward space in the whole place. I had to very gingerly maneuvre my station wagon in with reverse parrallel parking, and I avoid reverse parrallel parking whenever I can! I felt as if I wasn't off to a good start!

When I stepped inside my room, that motel smell hit my senses. A combination of mustiness and clean linen and reverse cycle air-conditioning. For a split second, I really missed my family, as I'd normally be watching the kids bounce on the beds and choose where they were going to sleep. Instead, I had a bit of a rest, then thought about getting something to eat for tea. I'd had thoughts of driving into the city for late night shopping to buy a baked potato, but trying to squeeze back into that carpark, this time in pitch black, was out of the question! There was a Subway outlet a few hundred yards down the road on the opposite side, so I raced across between the traffic, bought a salad plate, then took it back to eat in peace and silence. I felt another small twinge of missing my family again when I walked back into the room, but it went even quicker. Then I really started to enjoy myself.

I did a bit of reading and note-taking from some good books I'd brought with me. I found the Motel Bible placed by the Gideons and read a bit of that. I did some of my deep relaxation exercises. I enjoyed the sound of traffic on the road outside. Everything I read seemed as if it was perfect for me at that time. I read a chapter entitled "Live in Day Tight Compartments" from a book by Dale Carnegie and realised that this was my problem. I'd brought a lot of stress upon myself by anticipating and dreading what might lie ahead, which is a sure recipe for worry and fatigue. God made days 24 hours long for a reason. It made such an impression, I might talk more about it in a later post. The night passed really quickly and I had a great, refreshing sleep in a very comfortable bed. At home, my youngest boy very rarely sleeps all night through without trudging into our room or calling out for a drink. I was able to lie reflecting and praying quietly in the early light of dawn and then I had a beautiful warm shower. By the time I left, I felt really happy.

I didn't return directly home. As I was near their home, I called in on my parents. I did a bit of shopping and eventually got home at about 2.00, because Andrew had to go out to prepare for a gig he was playing in that night and I had to take Emma to her ballroom dancing lesson at 3.00. My two younger children came running to give me a big hug when I got home and I found that Andrew had got them to help him go through the house and give it a tidy-up.  It was a great first-impression but I was soon to see that they dealt with the mess in the living areas by dumping it all onto their bedroom floors. Still, I didn't mind. The best part of the venture is that Andrew actually noticed that my night away had done me so much good and suggested that I ought to do it every month or so. I think it might have done the family good too, to have a break from me!