When I was young, I was known as a painfully shy kid and felt in the shadows of my older sister and brother. I spent lots of time trying to think of ways to prove to myself and others that I could do something well. When I was fifteen, I scored fairly high in a history exam I'd studied hard for. I could hardly wait to catch up with my teacher and hear what she had to say.

She said, "You did remarkably well."

I asked, "Did you expect me to do that well?"

She replied, "No, your answers were by far the most comprehensive of the whole class. You worked hard and earned the result."

I felt myself glowing, then looked at my friends and saw that they were glowering at me. For the rest of the day they avoided speaking to me but spent lots of time whispering together and shooting me looks that would scorch a snowball. At last one of them told me, "So-&-So says you're a #%$& show-off and nobody likes you anymore."

I remember how my spirit plummetted. I remember the sick feeling and the tears I tried to blink back. Most of all, I remember my instant decision to NEVER give anyone the opportunity to call me a show-off again. It was a decision I stuck to for years and years. I was careful to always present a really humble face. I brushed off compliments. I wouldn't ever mention anything I did that I was proud of for fear of being labelled a show-off again. I thought I was getting along fine but just lately, I can see that it's become a problem.

You see, I've written and published some books including what I think is a really fun fantasy trilogy for young teenagers. I absolutely loved writing the books but I'm a crummy seller and self-promoter. I'd love to take my books into schools and run workshops. I believe my products are enjoyable, I've had plenty of positive feedback from youths who have read them, I think what I have to share would be interesting but I'M TOO SCARED TO DO IT. Apart from feeling nervous that I won't be any good, I'm also terrified that the people I know will think I'm nothing more than a windbag and a huge SHOW-OFF. It struck me then, my old decision to never be called a show-off again is limiting my life.

I'm writing this post because I really want to do the school thing and by declaring that I'll do it on this blog, perhaps I'll keep myself accountable and ask others to keep me accountable too.

I think the only good thing about being labelled a show-off when I was 15 is that I've developed a sort of 'heart' for show-offs. Others might see them as annoying bores who have tickets on themselves while I see through the charade to insecure people who genuinely need a boost of confidence. I've gained patience with my own children and I never come down hard on them for showing-off because I remember how hard it hit me. I'm convinced that many of the worlds "show-offs" are simply sensitive, fragile hearted people who certainly don't need the stigma of being labelled "show-off" on top of whatever baggage they're already carrying.