Well, I looked back at a couple of posts from 5-6 months ago on needing accountability to get things done.  I haven't changed at my core - I'm still afraid to fail, a procrastinator, and a perfectionist.  It's interesting that the first thought I had to write next was, "Not a good combination."  Really?  So I'm saying that the Sovereign God of the entire universe, the One who put the stars and planets in place, didn't make the right combination when He created my personality? 

How easily I slip into tearing myself down and as many tell me, "being too hard on myself."  I am asking the Lord to help me see myself in light of the Truth at all times.  Do I struggle?  Yes.  Do I believe there are reasons for those struggles?  You bet I do!  I won't always know the reasons, even in the end.  But I do KNOW that I love and serve and have been saved by a God who loves me, who created me in His image, and who doesn't make mistakes!  I have this conversation so often with my 6-year old.  He is very much like me in some of these things - too hard on himself.  And when he cries because he doesn't want to struggle with sin for the rest of his lfe, I remind him that the Lord uses that very struggle to make sure that we are always aware of our need for HIM!  The constant daily battles are what bring us to our knees, acknowledging that we are incapable of handling life on our own.  We can't live a day without His grace!

So, Lord, I thank You.  For loving me enough to never leave or forsake me.  For Your matchless grace that covers all of my sin (and as You know, there is a lot!).  For giving me glimpses of Your purposes in the midst of trials.  For each day that You allow me to breathe and to love on my kids and to share a smile or a laugh with my husband.  Thank You that I am learning to make small bits of progress each day and be content with that, rather than drive myself to exhaustion trying to "get it all done" and just failing miserably in the process.  It seems as though You are showing me how to extend grace even to myself.  Thank You for that.  Apart from You, I am nothing!  But because of You, I have an eternal hope, that can (and should!) bring me peace, joy, and contenment each and every day.  No matter the circumstances of the moment. 

I love You, Lord.  And I will never be able to express properly how thankful I am for Your grace.  It amazes me, humbles me.  Please forgive me for my lack of faith and my idolatry as I seem to sometimes think that I've got a better plan than You!  I know better than that, but sometimes my actions would betray that knowledge.  Father, may You be glorified in my heart and my mind and my life.  In our family, in our home.  By Your grace, for our good, and for YOUR glory, Lord...may we live in light of the Truth.  I ask it all in Christ's Name,  Amen.