Such were my thoughts when I read a great article (originally on Kysha’s blog) championing the use of textbooks.   It was an intriguing article from Teri Maxwell (of Managers of Their Homes fame), who was originally discouraged by others for her family’s choice to subscribe to the use of traditional textbooks.   I guess those of us who steer away from textbooks do give the traditionalists a rough time. 

In our home, we actually do use two traditional textbooks: Apologia for Science, and Rod and Staff for Grammar.   When I think about it, we use those texts for the reasons the author stated—learning and planning that happens outside of Mom’s time and energy.   I’m beginning to believe exactly what I heard in a seminar when we began this journey: no curriculum is bad curriculum.   As just one example, I shared in a previous post about the differences of how ABeka teaches reading vs. Bob Jones, and I did spend the money—not a small amount, I might add—on the Bob Jones phonics curriculum.   Now, I see the youngest take her own finger as needed and put it in the appropriate place to help her sound out words.   Most of the time, no finger is needed at all.   Talk about feeling like a horse’s rear. 

Natural curiosity is a wonderful element of homeschooling.  I’ve posted it before, but the times when the kids are talking, questioning, and loving what they’ve learned are, in my mind, the most treasured academic reward of a homeschool. Yet, the reality of this life is that everything the kids have to learn won’t be fun.   Meeting their life’s goals will mean learning more than just that which they find fascinating.   To complete an MBA with concentrations in finance and marketing, I had to take economics, accounting, and statistics—courses from hell (LOL). 

Homeschool.   The only place where army gear is chic,

tiaras are all the rage,

and bathrobes are always in season.

When Marie over at PumpkinsMomma posted 2 comments to me regarding her new dishwasher and then posted pics of it on her blog, I thought it was one of those hilariously quirky, but oh, so fun things that only a SAHM (stay-at-home mom, since I finally figured out what that acronym stood for--LOL) could appreciate.   When you're around the house all day, every single thing wrong with your house is emphasized.   I had to back way off from HGTV until I could gain some perspective and watch it without getting depressed.

Well, Marie, congratulations on your new baby, and here's our latest addition:

...on a play date with Sink...

...shown here with matching outfits are Refrigerator, George Foreman Grill, and Microwave (not pictured here)...

...again, Refrigerator, Grill, Microwave, and Stove, the last of the "old school posse..."

Once Stove kicks the bucket, the redesign is complete!

More often for me, a walk with God has been about being obedient to the next step.  I believe it was evangelist Charles Stanley who talked about how sometimes the next step after prayer is to get up off your knees and wash the dishes.   Such was the case a few weeks back when we ventured up to Austin for the University of Texas’ “Explore UT” day.    The marketing and pre-planning for this event made it sound like the event of the year for any kid looking to pursue a college education—exposure to a flagship university, interactive workshops for attendees, and all day fun planned for every age.    They even prepared a place on the website so that you could plan and print your agenda for the day.    How much closer to college, without actually being in college, could you be?

The two younger kids had a blast.   My husband and I split up to cover more ground, and he came back with licorice sticks and marshmallows, neatly converted into DNA.   He found T-shirts for all three kids and all kinds of other neat places and surprising things to do—he’s so cool.

For the oldest one, I would grade the trip a D+.    For a kid who’s looking at a college from the angle of possibly making it home for 4 years, this “exploration” concept failed miserably.    Exhibits would close early, others that were billed as “interactive” turned into more of a “stand and watch me” event.   Hot and increasingly tired, I was determined not to voice my disappointment, but instead to allow her to have her day as she wanted it.   We both hit a low when we reached the textiles dept. (her love) and found that a number of highly marketed exhibits were science fair-like displays.   When we got to the “Be A Future Designer” (or something like that) display, we found an empty room of mannequins, fabrics and the like.   I asked another parent passing by if she knew where the exhibit was, and her reply had me thinking that I was in the wrong room, and that, in the right room, the oldest would be sewing, cutting, and so forth.   Trying to run so as not to miss one minute and vacillating over whether or not our daughter was old enough to operate a sewing machine, you can imagine the emotional roller coaster I was on when we reached the right room, only to find a group of uneasy college seniors working on their final projects.   Apparently, no one told them the details of the event, and so they were a bit disconcerted that people were walking through their area all day and watching them work.   Not wanting the whole experience to be a waste, I asked the oldest, normally our social butterfly, to ask the kids a couple of questions--a request that she flatly turned down.    Now I’m starting to lose it.   We drove all the way up here and we’re meeting kids in a field you want to study, and you have nothing to say?   So under great duress, she complied (emphasis on complied) with uncharacteristic timidity.   Yeah, it’s not much of a praise report thus far, but…

We left what we thought was the right room, and while looking through another couple of displays, we met a faculty member.   As outgoing and vibrant as our daughter, she talked to us for at least 20 minutes.   For all the people who crowded the hallways, suddenly no one was there.   We talked extensively about high school preparation, intro “weed-out” classes, textile fundamentals, even reasons not to go to UT!   Incidentally, I found out that part of the high school preparation for the fashion program is a solid command of math and science.   Why, you ask? (I did).   Because of the fabrics themselves—each responds to heat, water, chemicals, etc., differently, and understanding of chemistry and math helps with knowing what fabrics to pick for what you want an outfit to do.

So, after repeated talks about passion, self management, and all those other intangibles that determine success in college, and in life, truth be told, this was a huge catalyst in lighting a fire under the future designer.   We even returned this past weekend for the senior’s presentation—a full-scale fashion show.  This event did not disappoint, and the oldest is far more encouraged in her dreams.

This was larger for me, however, than seeing a great fashion show, or enduring a grueling 8-hours of walking a HUGE college campus with little harvest until the midnight hour.   It’s not a promo or a criticism of UT.   For me, it was about getting out of the way and trusting Him to lead us to the right places and the right faces.   I believe in my whole heart that because I didn’t grumble about what I thought was a bust, I didn’t blow a good day for everyone else, there was something larger in it for me, too—a boost of inspiration and encouragement, a sense of direction that I didn’t orchestrate, and a message of perseverance from someone other than a occasionally anxious mom.

All of this put me in the mind of a hymn that you don’t hear much in modern-day churches, but its words are timeless:

‘Oh, what peace we often forfeit,

Oh, what needless pains we bear,

All because we do not carry

Everything to God in prayer.’

For the first week in a very long time, I actually enjoyed a wonderfully ho-hum week.   I finished the class I taught at the local store, and I don’t know how it will feel to have Tuesdays back with the kids.   We still have about 5-6 weeks of “regular school” left before summer, and I’m starting to think about our plans.    We have two big trips planned, which will just about take up whatever monies I usually pour into summer programs.   Our daughter and my husband are traveling for their first mission trip, and I’m excited for them.   Plan A was for me to accompany our daughter, but our church’s Youth Pastor was thrilled when she thought at least one man was going.   So I thought the mature thing to do, as much as it hurt, was to send my husband instead of going myself.    The youth group will host a Vacation Bible School in the area, full of songs and skits.   My husband has laughed countless times that he’ll be traveling to one of the world’s most exotic resort locations and wearing a clown suit.   My response to him is that as long as he’s funny-looking to the ladies, I know he’ll come home to me the same way he left (smile).

The other trip is for my son, whose team is dancing at a national competition early in the summer.   This was our first year participating on the competitive team and it’s been ripe ground for women’s and/or family ministry, if you know what I mean.   Thankfully, because our son is a boy, we’ve managed to dodge much of the hysteria that surrounds the young ladies.   Yet, having spent almost a year now watching these girls with their parents, teachers, peers, etc., I’m constantly reminded of how much we as women can unintentionally project onto our kids.   I see girls who are constantly primped and pampered, dressed in makeup and sometimes inappropriate clothing at young ages in the name of being prettier than the next.   At the competitive level, there are no girls bigger than a size 7/8, and moms constantly chatter on and on about potential weight gain.  

Don’t get me wrong.   Competitive dancing is competitive for a reason.   Not everyone can do it, and the very nature of the beast requires physically moving about in a way that excess weight inhibits.   But I can’t help but wonder if, somewhere amongst the type of glitz and glamour that these young girls are exposed to, what messages they’re receiving about true beauty and self confidence.   More importantly, it scares me to think that the moms and teachers coaching them are too busy struggling with their own insecurities and regrets to speak positively to them.   This is not a condemnation from me, but a conclusion based upon the conversations I hear, and a genuine concern for the next generation of future wives and mothers.

As I look at woman after woman attempting to live vicariously through her daughter, I take an account of my own relationship with our two girls.    My oldest is so like her dad and, in several areas, very unlike who I was before God touched me: she’s very sociable, she’s naturally sweet even before she received Christ, and she has a heart the size of Texas.   Of course, there are some areas that need polishing, too.   The worst thing I could do, and what I did early in our homeschooling journey, was to try and turn her into me.    From where I sat, she needed my overachieving spirit, my math and science love and aptitude, my efficient nature, my this, my that.   All of that was about fear.    What would she become if she didn’t have those things?    Where would life take this slow, methodical, creative endeavor-loving night owl?   About two years into our journey, I read an article in the Elijah Company’s catalog.   I no longer have the catalog, and I can’t remember the article, but I do remember a key line.   The father asked the Lord to help him quit trying to make his son into what he wanted him to be, and to allow God to shape him into what He wanted him to be.   This became my prayer several days after reading it, and I still draw upon these words of wisdom when I feel myself speaking out of that fear again.  

Our oldest will be 13 one week from today.    I chose engineering as a career (initially); if she doesn’t change her mind, fashion will be her passion.   I wake up each day ready to take on the world.    She’s up to the same challenge at about 10 p.m. each evening.   I was in the marching band.    She dances, and one day she might even compete.   May the Holy Spirit quickly put my mouth in check when I speak out of my own regrets, my own insecurities, and my own fears.   May the Lord give me keener insight into my own generational issues so that I don’t pass them on.   Let her grow up according to Ephesians 3:16-19:

  ". . . that he would grant you, according to the riches of his glory, to be strengthened with power through his Spirit in the inner man, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith, and that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may be able to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ which surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled up to all the fullness of God."