I thought it was appropriate to entitle this post "Places of Faith" as a continuation of my "Places of Trust" post.    In as much as I made plans for several changes I anticipate occurring on next year, there have also been places where things have changed--some out of necessity--totally outside of me.   So, I trust Him to continue to firm up and also confirm my plans, but I also have faith that the other changes that are happening are in His will and for my best interest.

As one example, I posted in "Places of Trust" that I was in a quandary about a math program for the oldest as we move forward.   After I wrote, I decided (I'm sure at the urging of the Holy Spirit) to check out Teaching Textbooks again.    I had looked at these products after seeing high praise on a loop to which I belong, but immediately gasped at the price and moved elsewhere.   I am spoiled by Charlotte Mason's approach, which has always allowed me to come out on the cheap end in terms of buying curriculum.    Last year was the first year that I spent more than $300, and that was largely my own choice--with a little extra money in the homeschool supply store, I went a little crazy.   Anyway, I made up my mind to invest, but next year.   Then, as if sent for divine confirmation, Sally came back by and suggested Teaching Textbooks--what a confirmation!   As I said to her, I still wasn't looking forward to spending that kind of money just for math, but I'd rather the oldest have a good experience with math than to hang onto dollars while we both spend the year frustrated.

This brings me to where we are.   With our previous math program, the oldest soared in the initial, broken-down pieces of Algebra, but in trying to put it altogether as a prelude to polynomials (no alliteration intended), something got lost.   After repeating myself ad nauseum, my neck and shoulders would hurt from stress.    Her frustration manifested itself in different ways--apologies, tears, and I'm sure self-doubt.    The one feature of Teaching Textbooks that I originally thought was overkill is what now appealed to me--the CDs that allow her to repeat a lecture again and again and again.   So, I talked with the superhero, who I'm sure has grown weary of me venting, and I finally bit the proverbial bullet and spent the money--this year instead of next.     We've not started using it yet as I just got it this week, but the oldest looked at it and felt good about a program that allows her to take math at a different pace.

Here's the kicker: because of the differences in curriculum, we went from Algebra 1 to Pre-Algebra.   This was definitely my issue, not hers, but I was so pleased and proud that we were getting ahead on math.   When I think about it, it was probably some leftover residue from my engineering upbringing; I am admittedly still navigating my way through her interests versus my own plans, and what all that means for the years to come.    What this whole school year (thus far) has done for me is to heighten my awareness about how necessary it is for us to get out of the way as parents.   It is ironic to me that traditional teachers give home educators no credit for their abilities, but I question whether most of them have to complete the amount of gut-wrenching soul searching that is required of us if we are to truly "let go and let God."    Oh, it sounds really good, but the reality of being stripped of all my junk in the process of becoming the parent, and moreso the teacher, that He wants me to be?    It's more than a notion.   I stand back sometimes in awe at the kids as I begin to even try to get my head around what I, and what you as a homeschooling parent, have signed up for.   It's amazing the things that God calls us to do, and if we could do it ourselves, it probably wasn't His calling.

The other major change that seems to be happening quite outside of me is our son becoming my assistant teacher. I have heard of older children taking primary responsibility for the younger children's learning, but I always dismissed the concept as something that only happens in big families.    Well, while we were away with Hurricane Ike with Dad off from work, the five-year-old, in all of her little-girl candor, told me that she liked Dad better as her teacher.    I would have been offended, but then I had to remind myself that I don't exactly skip to the table to teach phonics, so this mutual enjoyment could work for me, too.   I think what she mostly appreciates is having someone new with her rather than boring old Mom (smile).   Once we returned home, our son continued to enjoy reading aloud Dr. Dolittle with her, and eventually took over.   I mentioned elsewhere that he's really enjoying a "cruise-like" type of year, and if the truth be told, his motives probably have more to do with occupying himself than with more noble goals.   Incidentally, his ability to cruise is based upon the oldest's work load at his age--my only point of reference.   Now that I see him completing the same load in a significantly shorter time, I'm even more aware of her dawdling.   He's not her primary teacher, but I appreciate his willingness to help her by reading to her.    She enjoys him, which she also made sure I knew, and it is also training him in the sensitivity that he'll need as a husband and father one day.    I won't press him to work with her past his own desires and joys; his help could end tomorrow.    Yet, I'll enjoy this season while it lasts, and yet again, step out of the way, receive my heavenly instructions, and watch God move in all of them.

You’d have to know my ”tongue-in-cheek,” sarcastic side to understand this post.   I have often wondered, in the spirit of those things that make you go “hmmm…,”courtesy of former late night show host Arsenio Hall, if some things are too much of a coincidence to be mere coincidence.   As one example, we have made history this year with the Democratic candidacy of Senator Barack Obama.  Regardless of what you might think of him, and regardless of whether he wins or not, this is a historical point in time.   Is it me, or is it too coincidental to be a coincidence that in the same era, one of the most popular celebrities on pop culture television is Flavor Flav, front man for the group Public Enemy and embarrassment extraordinaire?

Does this brother have to “blow up,” as the kids say, this year?

So, I’m continuing in this vein of thinking when we purchased a new collegiate dictionary on yesterday.    As an aside, not too long ago, our neighbors were in the heat of a marital separation, and I loaned the son our original dictionary after the father left the house with a number of items in order to “get back” at the family.   Thankfully, the couple decided to get back together, but I somehow still remain separated from my dictionary.   I guess I can chalk that up to what I did for love, huh?

Well, there are new words in Webster’s, thanks to these changing times:  wi-fi, phishing, etc.   Our son even looked up frindle from the book we so enjoyed of the same name.   In the book, a kid decides to invent a word, which becomes used so much in his school and then in the larger community, until years later it becomes an official word in the dictionary.    That must have been the case with this new entry. 

Main Entry:

crunk

Pronunciation:

\ˈkrə©¯k\

Function:

noun

Etymology:

crunk, word of fluctuating meaning used during the 1990s in lyrics of the rap groups OutKast and Lil Jon & The East Side Boyz

Date: 2000

: a style of Southern rap music featuring repetitive chants and rapid dance rhythms

If hip-hop is indeed dying, as many in the media say, must we immortalize it by placing these guys in Webster’s Dictionary?

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not to your own understanding;  Acknowledge Him in all your ways and He will direct your path.

Proverbs 3:3-6

Where does the time go?   I’ve been able to get out and be blessed by others’ posts and somehow managed to neglect writing my own words!

I have been thinking a lot about high school plans for the oldest.   Sometimes when some combination of fear and frustration begin to surface, I think that I must be crazy for putting so much effort into the high school years given the oldest’s current 8^th grade struggles.    However, I am continuing in prayer and the Lord is being faithful to reveal some recognizable areas where I can help move my daughter to a different place.   One of those places is in speaking to her perfectionist tendency—a plight all too familiar to me, although it doesn’t manifest itself in the same way.   As one example, the oldest is artistic and has an eye for details.   Her science notebook has beautiful illustrations, but they take a loooooooonnnnnnngggggggg time to complete.    I left her to copy a picture of the heterosphere, troposphere, etc.    Almost three hours later, she was trying to find the right combination of colors for the perfect twilight sky.   YIKES!    So this week’s heart-to-heart was about how to summarize, how to shorten, how to skim, with some success, I might add.   I do hope that this particular pendulum doesn’t swing too far the other way (smile).

I was looking for more of the same, which I believe, by faith, is working for us.    Actually, I shouldn’t write as if all is lost around the house; in truth, this is a new routine for both of us, and I do see fruit as I embrace patience.    We’re studying Hebrews as the author writes to prove to his Christian audience that God is greater than the high priests, and begins a comparison of the blood power of the Old Testament with the power of Jesus’ blood in the New Testament.   This struck several chords with the oldest from another book we’re reading together, Know What You Believe by Paul Little.    As she noticed the similarities, I thanked God for what I was witnessing.    He is and will continue to do a work, if I will get out of the way.    Then again, I’ve always had the patience of Job as long as I got what I wanted in an instant.

So, as I stated before, I was looking for more of the same:

1)   Books that build her faith in Jesus and her confidence in sharing Him with the world

2)  Living books that inspire as they educate

3)  Opportunities to  bond and learn as Mom and daughter over books

Because of the other needs of our homeschool, our family, and my schedule when I’m not homeschooling, I needed something that was fairly well planned out, though a plan that is too prescriptive would never work for me.   After a good deal of research, I finally settled on a great books study using www.thegreatbooks.com. We will not use all of the resources, and we will not read the Koran or other documents of non-Christian major religions; I think it is sufficient to understand the basics of other religions so that your witness to those who worship other gods is not steeped in ignorance.   I have completed some additional searches to see what online lesson plans exist in working through books like The Iliad and The Odyssey, as well as what films are available as another means of taking in some of the great philosophers.   All in all, I have to say that I’m pretty excited about my second trip through high school.   We will flesh out the rest of our plans with tried and true staples that have worked for us through the years—Apologia Science and Rod and Staff English (until it runs out after 10^th grade).   I am in somewhat of a quandary regarding Geometry on next year.   Cornerstone Curriculum has a new geometry text, but the ratings are mixed on his newer products.   Cathy Duffy lists great options in her 100 Top Picks…, and I believe that Jacobs is the popular choice among homeschoolers.    We’ll see.

One aspect of high school that both challenges and intrigues me is the whole idea of electives.   It began to occur to me a couple of months ago all the implications of the oldest’s interest in fashion design and merchandising.   I’d been following the pattern under which I was educated—heavier on math and science (hence the engineer), with solid grounding in language arts for purposes of articulation.   Then, you could have knocked me over with a feather when I realized, hey, she’s going to need home economics!   She’ll have to learn to sew (something I haven’t done since I gave birth to her 13 years ago)!    Her interests are completely different than what I’m planning!    You’d think, being the planner that I am, that I’d have something firm in place for this, but I sat dazed for a day or two, then had to back up and punt.   My saving grace was a brief discussion in the Homeschool Lounge.   I so love what technology is doing in the homeschooling community; such wisdom is being disseminated at accelerated speeds, and it’s great to be a part of it all.   I found what could be used as a “core text,” but it certainly wouldn’t qualify as a living book.   So I thought about studying Cleopatra and posed a question to the Charlotte Mason group about a living book.   I only got one response, but it was all I needed—study Esther instead!    I am so pumped about the role of costume and fashion as she prepared herself for one night, and then a lifetime, with a king.   I found a living book that I think will be perfect, along with great online studies.    I’m diving into a History of Fashion unit, both elbows deep—I’ll keep you posted!

Today was one of the first days that we stopped acting like evacuees, trying to live our old home life in the confines of a hotel.   We chose instead to get out, take in the city, and enjoy a new museum in the area.   Driving up to the hotel, we all observed that it wasn’t very large for its alleged content, and though I was curious, I had my doubts.

The museum’s artifacts were indeed limited, but we were able to meet two of the kindest people we’ve seen here—the curator and the director.   With an empty museum other than our family, they walked us around and began to share the rich history of the people and artifacts that were there.    In one section there was a wall of 90+ year olds who had given to the museum their time, their articles, and their stories.   As the director began to share the stories, I felt as if I knew those people, and felt as if I were speaking with an old friend about them.   All that we were missing was an old front porch, two rockers, and a glass of “sweet tea,” as those east of the Mississippi would call it.

More than her stories, what intrigued me were her heart and her passion as she shared the most simple, yet captivating anecdotes about several of the wall portraits.   It was obvious how much these simple old folk, in a delightedly old country way, had left imprints on her and on the world around them.   To see their pictures, I saw no obvious signs of fortune or fame.   In fact, much to the contrary, I saw faces marred with hardship and pain, eyes that knew tears of joy and of sadness.

As we left the museum, I pondered what I saw with the usual amount of contemplation.   What does it mean, Lord?    One thing’s for sure: in our temporary space, I have time to think.   In fact, I’ve stepped away and done more thinking in the last week than my usual busy-ness has afforded me in a very long time.    I’m thinking about our plans before the hurricane and how one day’s devastation has changed so many plans and priorities.   Before we left, I had notes in my planner to mail checks to Schlitterbaun in Galveston and the Johnson Space Center in Clear Lake.   Somehow, I don’t think those plans are as important to the people advertising those events anymore.   

I’m also thinking about how excited, yet wary, I am about purchasing a new stove and television.    Neither of these purchases has a thing to do with the storm.   Ironically enough, before we left the area, we were planning to use the weekend to replace the stove with the oven that has gone out now for the second time in 2 months, and the 20-year-old television.   Now with a fence to repair, I’m sorting through what are priorities and what are the luxuries in my own mind.

I’m thinking about the fond memories of that television.   It was one of my first purchases upon moving to Texas after college.   The television, along with one of the now-faded sofas and a brass bed that is falling apart, are the last testimonials of my first taste of true independence, my “all grown up” memorials.

What I’m thinking most of all following my time at the museum is about my own testimonial.    What imprints am I leaving?   Did I make this life better for anyone?   Whose heart warms when they speak of me?  I know a number of neighbors who are obsessed with their homes—replacements, repairs, and resell values.   It’s easy for me to belittle their obsession: I lost pieces of a fence.   But if there’s anything that I do see in mulling over my trip to the museum, it’s that my life, ultimately, needs to boil down to more than the right paint colors, the perfect garden, and a completely golden image.   Polishing my prince and princesses is very important, but it’s not the most important thing.   What was my love walk while I was here?

The other day, a lady on our same hotel floor stood talking on her cell phone.   In tears, she told the person on the other end, “No one cares about me.”   I had a cartoon-like moment, with an angel on one side and a devilish imp on the other.   Go ask her if you can help, said the angel.    The imp said, she might tell you it’s not your business.   She might be off her meds.   She might ask you for something you don’t have.   The devil had a more convincing argument, and I left someone else to go and comfort her instead--probably a mistake, I now realize.    Lord, with your help and discernment, help me to love.

Is it me, or does anyone else marvel at God in these last days?   I am constantly amazed at the increased frequency and intensity of natural disasters in the last 5 years.  Of course, perspective is everything, and it could be that I’m noticing these more now because they are affecting me personally.

Three years ago and one month after Katrina, we evacuated our area in preparation of Hurricane Rita.   Every time we travel that freeway, I still remember, vividly, our testimony: 16 hours to travel 80 miles.   Expecting to reach our destination a lot sooner than we did, we ate breakfast and left with little water and almost no non-perishable food. I've never tasted a more refreshing soda than those we found halfway on the journey.  Our son had a bad cold when we left; by the time we reached our hotel, he had sweated out every ounce of illness.   God was so faithful to us then.    I remember that my husband, in the effort to save gas, wanted to take his company car and tie our evacuation plans into a business trip.   I believe it was divine that his fuel injection system malfunctioned, and we were forced to take our bigger, more comfortable family car.   The few gas stations that were open didn’t take his company gas card, and with a failing fuel injector, we would have had to make any number of stops.   The families who blessed our family with a home were no less of a blessing; we didn’t experience one day of feeling out of place or out of sorts.   Finally, we returned to only a few shingles missing and a leaning tree—now our Rita memorial.

So, what is our Ike testimony?   We grew wiser, this time taking plenty of water, snacks and fruit.    We left earlier, ahead of the traffic.   We grew stronger; even 3 hours northeast, we were in the hurricane’s path, and had to tough out a howling Category 1 wind and 10 hours in a hotel with no electricity.   I learned that the kids really do understand the power of prayer.    Our second hotel, 3 hours west, made me aware of how very blessed we were as we passed house after house with trees in the roof, on the porch, or touching some electrical line outside.   Here we’ve had every amenity to comfort the temporarily homeless—cheap food, ample groceries, and a delightful hotel with a pool and 2 televisions in the room (helps take everyone’s mind off the gravity of the Ike aftermath).

I’ve seen task forces from as far as Puerto Rico.   I’ve heard of grocery supply trucks from as far as Los Angeles.     I know that there are people without power, without gas, without food, without, without, without.   I know that others have lost more than mere comfort, and I pray that many are turning back to Jesus.    We are still blessed as all the damage we'll return to, according to a neighbor, is a knocked down fence.  I rejoice that my biggest concern here is how to complete a science experiment in a hotel (smile).   The children are accustomed to school on the road--why change now?  Besides, they'll love me this summer when their friends are making up lost days.

 Each day, there is a reason to experience God’s grace; each day, we can receive His peace.   He is still so very faithful, and I’m thankful that I’m His, and He is mine.   Every day.