Wow. Where did my weekend go? Particularly Sunday? March is the busiest month our family faces as far as birthdays go. We have 4 family birthdays and 4 friend birthdays.  Yesterday, 3 of those parties were celebrated. We began the day with church, then Kaity was off to a party while I taught a class. Chad took CJ to a party and I booked it from my class to a party at 4. We had to enlist my mom's help to get Kaity from party number 1 to party number 2 while I was commuting from Oro Valley to Marana! I absolutely hate days like these! I dread being gone all day, not to mention the prepwork and clean up invloved. It's exhausting and a ton of work. However, these birthdays are all important and need celebrating and we love them. It's a sacrifice of love. Whew though! I am still recovering.

I was just discussing with my mom my 'tiredness'. I am so tired all of the time. I am overwhelmed easily. I think my body is still recovering from the chemo and radiation (and the surgery and depression and on and on . . ). They (my doctors) said to give it at least a year. I just have a lot of trouble saying 'no'. Plus, my mom mentioned that some people forget that I was sick. I don't look sick anymore. I am done with treatment. It's been almost a year since chemo finished and nearly 10 months ago radiation finished. Still, I am drained easily. I don't sleep well (pain) and it often takes me a long time fall asleep. I wish I was better at saying 'no'. I wish I knew how to tactfully remind people that I am not the same 'mover and shaker' I used to be. I am a crockpot! Plus. I just want to be home with my kids. If I have a reoccurance, I don't want to regret how I chose to spend my time or who I chose to spend it with. I want to be with my kids and hubby, hands down. My April scheduled is already completely filled. Every weekend. Sometimes I want to move far away . . .

Today, my best friend came over for lunch with her cousin from Michigan and her 3 year old daughter. There was so much estrogen (not from me though! Ha!) in the house that Chad and CJ packed up and went to the park.

Kaity put on a summer dress from last yaer (it has been so warm here already). It was a good laugh. I think she's grown about 4 inches in the last 7 months. The dress was short! Yet another project to add to my giagantic list. I have to get out the kids summer stuff and see what we have and need etc. Those kids just insist on growing even though I have begged them to stop!

Mondays are the worst days for school. I may switch to Sonlights 4 day schedule or school Tuesday through Saturday. I'll decide tonight when I update Homeschool Tracker. We just have so much to do. Can I cancel my life until 2010?

Love ~ Jenn

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Posted by Grammy

My grandson is grappling with some of the implications of inifinity, my granddaughter is trying to wrap her mind around some of the hardest stuff we humans do - restrain our fleshly impulses - and you are recovering from cancer. Is it any wonder you get tired and overwhelmed?

I'm glad you are thinking about the long term, but instead of just "what if I have a recurrence of cancer" the potential for looking back with regret also happens when you DON'T get sick, and you reflect on choices about how you spent your time. I speak from experience her, dear girl. How I wish I hadn't spent too much of my most precious resource, time, on pleasing other people and fulfilling what was asked of me by others, or even stupid stuff like time wasted in front of the boob tube, instead of spending enough of my time in significant stuff with my precious family. Regret leaves a bitter, metallic taste on the tongue and the soul.

The question? What, pray tell, is a "lap book?"

I love you better than a fat new book,
clp

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