Nov. 21, 2009 - Parenting Think Spots

Instructions or Example?  When we are teaching our children what is more effective? Our Instruction or our Example?

Nov. 9, 2009 - Hospitality

Sep. 29, 2009 - My Routine in Blocks of Time

My post yesterday on my new routine created a bit of discussion both online and via email.  I know I’ve said before, both on my blog and in my newsletter, that I use blocks of time and yet I still write up my day as if it is a schedule with time indicators (habits are hard to break).  So I am going to re-write that post to show what the day’s plans really look like. 

• I do use key times throughout the day to hang our activities on though these times are flexible, and often sway this way or that depending on the day.  We encourage the children to wake up at the same time every day, though there are exceptions.  We have lunch at the same time, roughly.  We close our day the same way and same time most days.  But what happens in between is directed by blocks of time rather than 1/2hour segments.

• My routine is more like a to-do list, rather than a schedule, each block has a purpose and a different ‘to-do’ list of its own.  My to-do lists sometimes get fully ticked off, sometimes things roll onto tomorrow.  Our goal isn’t to finish something, our goal is to learn, or create something.  This takes time, and it may take tomorrow!

• My day is arranged so we can have a balanced life, growing in all areas of life.  This is especially important if one child is having a struggle in one area of his life – he knows that the struggle will only be for a short time, and then he moves to something more enjoyable.

• My planning is so that we can use our time responsibly though interruptions, rabbit trails and opportunities often change my plans. My only guide is are these interruptions in keeping with what will benefit my family – or are they a distraction?  Opportunity vs distraction (there’s a whole new post!)

Personal responsibilities (approx 2 hours)

Get dressed, bedroom, personal devotions, breakfast, chores, exercise

Focus Time (approx 2 hours)

Including but not limited to:

Family devotions (we aim for 8.00-8.30am)

Family meeting

Bible Study (Nomi/Daniel)

Phonics/Reading (Daniel)

Independent work (Nomi, Jess, Josh)

Family read aloud (all kids)

My focus during this time is to be with the kids.

Productive Time (till lunch)

Including but not limited to (each child has their own passions and ideas to follow)

Painting war-gaming soldiers

Web building/html, Photoshop

Bamboo – Paint – drawing digitally

Lego, Pirate Lapbook,

Piano

My focus during this time is to work on my projects

12.30 Lunch this is one of those key times

Followed by chores

Individual time (1-2 hours)

Including but not limited to:

Reading

Free computer time (1/2 hour only)

Study

Productive projects

This is a time where the children don’t interrupt me; I work in the office or on a writing project.

Creative Time / Productive Time

My focus here is to be available to help the children with their projects

This is also the time we often leave the house for social commitments or town chores.

Free Relaxation Time

Down time that we all need

Read more about Routines - establishing them, maintaining them, being flexible

Aug. 8, 2009 - Children and Blogging

Jul. 26, 2009 - Live life with your Kids Newsletter

Have you subscribed to my weekly newsletter?  My goal is to encourage parents in the training of the whole child - the physical, emotional, mental, moral, spiritual and practical areas of life.

Each week will have a different focus based on these reoccurring themes:

• To be a Deliberate Parent
• To use Family Life as a Resource
• To be proactive in Character Education
• To be a Discipleship based Homeschool

If these topics are in tune with the beat of your heart, please do subscribe today!

Jul. 16, 2009 - Tips for Homeschoolers - Newbies or Veterans

I've been flipping through some old posts and thought I would repost occasionally.  Here is one I put together for the Heart of the Matter Friday Meme.

Tips and Tricks

·         Schedule your day in blocks of time rather than in ½ hour lesson slots.  We use the following blocks:  Relationship time (family/God), Responsibilities, Academics, Talents.

Within each block I have lightly held expectations of what we cover (like a to-do list) In our Relationship time covers things like personal devotions, Family Bible study, Family Time.  Responsibilities covers household chores and life skills training.  Academics covers both the study skills of Reading, Writing and Math but also the pursuit of General Knowledge.  Talents Time encouraged personal creativity which is as unique as each individual child.

I face my day knowing that learning happens regardless of what happens, and often my planned lessons don’t happen.   Read more with, Life Messes with my Routine

·         Let your children be children – let them have plenty of play time, down time, doing nothing time, yet be assured a lot is going on in their brains and development at these times.    Maybe this is the hardest for us to do ‘cause we are not in control but when children have free time they learn how to apply all that we have been teaching them from character issues, leadership skills, thinking skills, people skills and understanding themselves.  Their brains also take this time to chew over the facts and figures that it has been absorbing, it finds links and connections which in the long run helps memory and application.   Read more about  the Benefits of Play

·         Keep lesson prep to a minimum.  Tips to make this work

o        Find curriculum written by homeschoolers, for homeschoolers with minimum prep required

o        Encourage independent learning so as your children get older they need less of your input in academic areas, and your prep time is spent on your younger more dependent learners.  Read more about the  Development of an Independent Learner  (Note:  We need to continue to disciple our older children, so we need to have times where we are depositing into their hearts)

o        Use Reading, Researching, Recording and Responding as a method of learning.  Using Books as the main source of learning puts the learning process into the children’s hands.  Read more on Basic Skills and Thinking Skills.

o        Spend time preparing lessons that are priority for your family – for us this is  Bible Study  and  Character education

o        Identify weaknesses in your family and spend time in preparation to help that particular student

·         Talk to your kids – you will be surprised at how much you will learn about your children and how much they will learn from you if you sit down and have a chat!  Homeschooling is all about Discipling our children, passing on the things that are important in our heart to the hearts of our children.  This doesn’t come from teaching a lesson, this comes from spending time, being honest and talking.  Don’t let any of the “homeschool stuff” in your life take over the most important thing – to build a relationship with each of your children. 

Jul. 7, 2009 - Relaxing with a Schedule

Scheduling is one of those things that needs a complete mindshift if we are going to be discipleship minded rather than education focused.   Scheduling, or as I’ve written before, routines, are a great tool – a necessary tool.  We need a purpose and we need boundaries.   But we need to put our routine through a discipleship paradigm shift along with all the other areas of our life that have been rethought.  

My definition of a relaxed homeschooler is more in the attitude than in the practice.  I have a routine.  My attitude is to deal with it in a relaxed, flexibly fashion.  I can maintain productivity because I have over-arching goals and purpose rather than focusing on the individual activity.  There are many activities that will help me reach my goals – I have to choose the best for the day.

I plan the family day in blocks of time – large blocks from 1 hour to 4 hours in duration.  Roughly it goes something like this throughout our days:

Relationship / Responsibilities

Discipleship time (learning together - both lifeskills and academic)

Responsibilities

Individual Time(study, office work, computer time, rest, creative projects)

Talents / Creative Time

Responsibilities / Family Time

The label I give these blocks is determined by my goal for that time.  Over time (and it is always evolving) I get more clarity and may start calling it something else or our lifestyle changes for a season and things look different.  The key is though to know my objectives for my time, for my days.  Once I know my purpose I can determine what we do within that block of time.  

These big blocks of time keep me on track even though in the meantime we may go on a rabbit trail.  In having a routine written on paper I have a solid pre-thought plan to reflect on and be my basis of assessment for whenever I have to think on the run.  Without this foundation every thought, interruption and activity, every invitation seems good.  When we go with every opportunity we waft in the wind not achieving our goals.  And yet our days can be flexible and still achieve our goals if we make our decisions based on – Will this activity help us reach this goal, or is it just another good activity?

If you still have your routine set in ½ hour time slots I encourage you to give it a look-over.  You don’t need to change the routine but maybe as you look at it you can see a way to group these small timeslots together, to see an overarching focus  for that time.  As you begin to make big blocks of purpose you can begin to let that be your goal instead of ½ hourly goals.  Let your ½ hour activities (such as math, storytime, Bible lessons) be your tool for reaching your goals.

Read more on Discipleship routines:

Establishing Routines

How to Write a Daily Routine

Being Flexible, having Choices

Maintaining Routines

To read more about what happens in each of these blocks of time visit my website and you'll see correlating links on the side-bar:  Relationship, Responsibilitities, Intrapersonal, Talents etc.

Apr. 29, 2009 - Notebooking our conversations

One more aspect that this change means in our house is that we are going to focus on notebook pages and not lapbooks.  Once again this is a decision based on how I personally respond to lapbooks – I love them but I tend to get caught up in filling them rather than spending time with  my kids.  Notebook pages though are simply a title, a picture, and a line or two of what we have learnt (the child can either write this themselves or dictate it).  Of course they can be much more than this but this is the bare minimum that I expect of my children. 

I find notebook pages give opportunity for writing, and creative expression.  The writing is my minimal requirement – the creativity is up to each individual child generally dictated to by their own level of creativity or their focus for the day.   

My requirement for a notebook page is for there to be some representation of what we have learnt.  It may take form of a photo of a hands on project or inspiration, it maybe an art project or it may simply be a paragraph (or even a sentence) – all  this depends on what happened during our conversation.  If I have no creative thought then we simply do a narration – either written or a dictated oral.

Google is my friend when it comes to notebooking.  With a computer nearby I can quickly find answers to the questions that the children ask and I can find graphics for their notebook pages without a lot of searching time.  Today I quickly found an image that showed the different types of fingerprints and printed them out for the kids to include on their notebook page.  I did this while they got scissors, glue and magazines for another aspect of their notebook page.   Alternatively they could have helped me find keywords for the google search or they could have quietly read a book for the few minutes it took me to find the resource online I was looking for.

There are two lessons I have learnt with using google

1.       1.  Think key words but you can type in a whole sentence too and google will still understand something of what you are looking for.

2.      2.  Accept the first 1-3 pages your search offer you  – it isn’t going to get any better.  The problem with the internet is that the options, the knowledge is unlimited, we can keep on searching but is it really beneficial?  I doubt it, so I limit myself to 1-3 pages, depending on how important it is to me to get just what I want, and depending on how much time I really have for this project.

Apr. 29, 2009 - Can you have Lesson Plans for Conversations?

Trusting conversation (see my previous post) doesn't mean I stop being intentional and directional in the education and training of our children.  It does mean that I consider carefully the hours I put into lesson plans and preparation.  it means that I need to have the Word of God in my heart so I can talk about God to my children as a natural part of my day.  It means that I have to be prepared and know the purpose of each time we sit down to learn together but also be flexible so I can go with their questions.  It does mean that I have to give my heart and time to my children.

As I have thought about this I have been reminded of a minister, a pastor or priest – he stands up to preach every Sunday and yet if he doesn’t know the hearts of his flock it will be simply a dry sermon that doesn’t touch their hearts.    This is what many of my lesson plans had become in our household.   They covered the things that the book said to cover, they didn’t come from my heart, they didn’t touch my children’s hearts, they didn’t grow our family.

I am going to spend my homeschool prep time (which is limited) on the lessons that count – the ones that are the most important to me and Peter – the ones that affect our children’s hearts.  And yet, I want to give time in my day that if we go off on a rabbit trail that my heart is at ease with that, that I am not stressing about getting it all done in a particular time frame. 

At this stage I have two lesson plans on the go:                                          

1.        1.  Bible Study.  We are studying the 10 Commandments.  My lesson plan simply consists of an outline of principles I want my children to understand, and thoughts I want to ensure I share with them as we talk about each commandment.

2.     2.    Character Study.  Next week we start looking at the character trait of Creativity.  Once again my lesson plan is simply an outline of key ideas I want to discuss with my children – we will see where it goes from there!

Then there will be those books that we read that won’t fall into these two categories.  The one I have earmarked to start shortly is “The Man who made Time Travel”.  It covers subjects such as longitude/latitude as well as keeping time.  I am sure we will have plenty to talk about and that the kids will ask plenty of questions giving us opportunity to think and research.  This is the limit of my lesson planning and preparation.  This book may develop into a “unit study” or it may simply be a day or two reading and enjoying it together.  We will see but most importantly the kids and I will spend some non-pressured time together.

Apr. 29, 2009 - Trusting Conversation

During the lead up to Easter I so enjoyed the time with my children.  We read books, we talked and we did a little recording of our learning.  I have been challenged with the idea that I need to trust conversation to educate my children.  I know it works  - I see the kids learning from our family conversations all the time, but I have held onto the format and security of FIAR for so many years it is hard to let it go.

So I am facing a season of change.  I have seriously looked at FIAR to see if it is helping me reach the goals that Ihave for my youngest two and I am sad to say it is not (It used to but it isn’t now).  I have stretched it out for as long as I possibly can and now I have to say goodbye.  (sigh!)

My current goals are:

1.        To spend relationship building time, where we can talk and laugh together, where we can dig into things that answer questions rather than get through lesson plans

2.       Have activity (both family life and learning specific) where we can talk about the things of God naturally, and where the children have opportunity to work on their character choices.

3.       To increase in study skills – narrations, asking questions, research skills, and writing.

Seeing those goals on paper is a bit odd, they are goals that can be met by FIAR (and have done so over the years) but I have turned this great resource into a curriculum and it drives me to complete lesson plans, rather than live life with my kids!  I need to give myself the tools and methods that help me today to be with my kids.

Another goal that I have that maybe isn’t so much specific to my children is to read all those books I have stockpiled to share with my children,  ‘one day’.  Now is going to be that one day.

So my plan is to spend my time with two focuses –

1.        Basic skills – this covers math, reading, writing, typing – the things that need daily instruction and practice.

2.       Instruction  time – this is where we will study Bible, Character and/or General Knowledge.  During this time we will read books, talk, write, draw, take photos, research the internet, hang out the washing, paint pictures and discover the world!

Apr. 8, 2009 - Filling our Children's Days

It is ‘easy’ to write up a schedule/routine for our children and yet is it real?  Is it purposeful?  Does real life overwhelm us and the plans that we make fly out the window.  Being intentional is based on reality not on fanciful ideas so when we draw up our plans for the day we must take an honest look at what really needs to happen in our days.

As I look back over 15plus years of parenting I came to realize that we have been doing the same thing – as far as scheduling / planning our days go – for at least 14 years.  So from the time my oldest was a walking around toddler we have included the same scheduling structure day after day.  Obviously the activities have changed, the length of focus time has changed as the children have grown older but the basic structure to my day has remained the same.  Let me share it with you.

Relationship Time

Relationships come first in our household.  There are two different aspects to relationships:  the vertical, where each person in our family develops a personal relationship with God, and horizontal relationships where we relate to each other.  Relationship skills that are learnt within the immediate family will come into play as the family interacts with other people and as the children get older and develop personal relationships outside of the family – these are all horizontal relationships.

There are several activities that allow me time to develop both the relationship with my children as well as teach them relational skills:

Food time – yes, this time is also about nutrition but when our family was young we sat together three times a day and shared the meal time (these days we are together just for the evening meal).  We can focus just on the food (and sometimes this is necessary) or we can focus on being together while we eat the food.  I’m sure good company assists in digestion!

Family Time – during this time, or during various times throughout the day, I would plan time to be together as a family for the purpose of enjoying each other’s company.  This also included “sibling time” where I planned for the kids to play together.  Reading, playing games, talking, relaxing together – I would make sure we had a balance of these activities in our day.

Devotional Time – This is time set aside to grow our personal relationship with God – this is done as individuals and as a family.

The purpose of these times in our day is to develop our relationships and our relationship skills.  As the children have grown older these things still happen on a daily regularity but they look different than when they were young.

Training Time

This is probably the time slot of our day that looks the most different as our children have grown but whether you homeschool or not this is a very important part of your day.  If you send your children to school, you are not involved in this part of their day, but it still happens.  There are three aspects of our life that give me the opportunity to specifically train our children.

Outside time – this is primarily to give their physical bodies opportunity to grow strong but it also encourages their imagination and relationships.  When our children were young they played outside at least once a day, probably twice a day for an hour or so.  This time was rarely closely supervised (I could see them out my windows) but there was always boundaries (rules) for them to play within.  As our children got older this outside time begins to change and it looks more like physical exercise and/or sport.  We have also encouraged the enjoyment of outdoors just as a wide space, fresh air and inspiration from nature.  The principle is that they have an opportunity to enjoy the outdoors and to look after their physical bodies.

Focus time – This is where we would get together and I would teach them a specific skill.  One child needed to be taught how to play, or you may teach them to sit still within the boundaries of a mat, and as they grow older this focus time grows with them; mat time, table time, sit time eventually moving into school or study time.  Activities grow from a rattle, to a puzzle, to colouring in, to math books!

Individual time – this is about looking after and developing their inner-self.  When they were little it included nap time, playpen time, which grew into rest time or room time and free time which grew into having time to develop personal interests and talents such as music, drama, craft or sport etc.  The things that we teach and train our children in when they are little will reap the fruit when they are older. 

Responsibilities Time

There are two main thrusts to this aspect

1. The children work with Mum/Dad (or at least are nearby)
2. The children are responsible for their own chores

When the children were young they spent time with me while I carried out my responsibilities – this may have been going to town, doing the housework or watering the veggie garden.  As they spent time beside me, they would eventually want to be my ‘helper’ and they would be given a small aspect of the task that was at hand.  Eg while cleaning the bathroom they would wipe down the cupboard doors or empty the bin.  These tasks would increase as their abilities increased, eventually resulting in them being able to do the task by themselves.   This means that the family works together to look after their possessions.  As the children grow older they also need to learn to look after their time and money as well.

So when you next plan your days, don’t fill the timeslots with random activities – thinking that you should do this, or should do that.  Stop and think - what are the best activities to help me have Relationship time, focus time and responsibilities time.

Apr. 3, 2009 - Celebrating the Resurrection of Jesus

Feb. 21, 2009 - Live life with your Kids Newsletter

Live life with your Kids is a weekly e-newsletter that aims to encourage families to be discipleship based.  Each week has a different focus based on these reoccurring themes:

• To be a deliberate parent
• To make the most of family life
• To grow in Character
• To be a discipleship based homeschool

Most of these themes are relevant to all families, whether homeschooling or not.  Once you have subscribed you have access to back issues but I thought I would share with you today’s newsletter.

Character Notes
Resourcefulness

Wisely using the things
we have been given;
being good stewards

Over the last month we have been studying resourcefulness. The world is all about resourcefulness – recycle and careful use of the world’s limited resources, but we are starting to appreciate a deeper application. Yes, we have to look after the resources of the earth – land, water, air, minerals, animals and plant life- In fact, it was a part of God’s plan at creation – He told Adam to have dominion, to rule over, and to care for the creation. (Gen 1:28). But God has given us so much more – we are to be wise stewards of all that He has given us.

I would like to share some of the thoughts that we have been discussing in our family as we look at Resourcefulness.

Time is a limited resource – We have all been given 24 hours to use. We can use it wisely or we can waste it, but we can’t get any more than we’ve already been given. Having a purpose, which gives us step by step goals for each day, helps us to use our time wisely. It has been helpful to look at the habits we have that hinder us reaching our goals – these are timewasters!

Energy is a funny thing, we use up our energy and yet we can replenish our energy. We exercise and somehow we have more energy that day than if we reserved our energy and stayed in bed! We can drag our feet during chore time, the slower we go the more tired we feel or we can zip through our responsibilities and feel the sense of accomplishment and at the same time, be ready to do the next thing.

Ideas, the things our mind thinks of, can be used to solve problems and bless others. It is so easy in this day and age to throw money at problems. Instead, we need to use the resource of our mind, and think creatively about the problems we face – what is the best way to fix this? Can I think of another solution?

Talents are so often used for our own pleasure and yet, if we recognize that they are given to us from God, then it is our responsibility to use them to bring glory to God, and bless others. As parents we need to recognize, affirm and do all that we can to develop each of our children’s unique gifts and talents. If we think creatively, we will be able to find a real life application for each talent. Our children need to begin to see opportunities where their talents are able to bless God or others. The alternative is that we have children who are self absorbed in their own ability!

The last aspect is a little bit different but it has been a good lesson to learn:

The Holy Spirit is a ‘resource’ given to us by the Father. He was sent to teach us, remind us, help us, comfort us, pray for us, and is our advocate. We often read a couple of short stories from Hero Tales by Dave and Neta Jackson as a part of our character studies. And this month we read of George Washington Carver, Gladys Aylward and Sammuel Leigh (Missionary to Australia/New Zealand). These people were in tricky situations and the Holy Spirit gave them ideas, wisdom, and creative thought to help them solve their problems. We so often do things in our own strength this was a good reminder to rely on God.

Call to me and I will answer you
and tell you great and mighty things
you do not know.
Jeremiah 33:3

If you would like to receive all future editions, you can Subscribe here for free

Jan. 4, 2009 - Happy New Year!

Dec. 21, 2008 - Christmas and Character Training

Dec. 16, 2008 - Computers and Technology

Dec. 5, 2008 - What is a Relaxed Homeschooler?

Question:  How do you decide what to have your children learn? What does relaxed mean to you?  Has the definition changed as your children have grown older? Easier to be relaxed when they are 5 than when they are 15?

My Answer:

Relaxed to me means that we aren’t pushed into a mould, that we aren’t rushed to perform and that we aren’t copying someone else’s model.  We may glean from other models but we are free to take on what suits our family.

How do I decide what my children learn?

We have written a  scope and sequence that covers their whole life development.  At the beginning of the year, or whenever I feel things are lagging, I review these aspects and consider the gaps or opportunities that I can see in each child’s life.  I then plan towards finding resources to help in that area.

Just to give you a brief overview of that scope and sequence:

Relationships – God and Man

Responsibilities

Intrapersonal – personal skills

Talents

Academics – Basic skills

Academics – General Knowledge  (History, Science, Geography)

The scope and sequence link gives more details of what gets studied under each category.  Many of these topics happen during everyday life.  Recognising these has been an aspect of us becoming relaxed homeschoolers.

I probably prefer the term discipleship homeshooler though that is not as widely understood or recognized as Relaxed HS.  The definition has changed for me as my desire to disciple rather than educate has become clearer and stronger.  

I had a “freak out” moment when my son reached 8.  I suddenly realized that this was serious and that I had to buckle down and do this properly.  I remember saying, “No more sandpit time for him during school time!”  This lasted for about 1 month.  Then I set about to discover if we could have a relationship based approach, a living life approach with the older children.  We are still conscientious over studies but not at the cost of our family life, or relationships.  Is it easier older or younger?  I think once you’ve made the switch in your own understanding of what and why of being relaxed/discipleship then it is the same – looks different (15yo Josh no longer plays in the sandpit! LOL) but the famiy dynamics are the same.

Nov. 28, 2008 - Christmas Gifts - a Parent's Opportunity

Sep. 6, 2008 - Manners Matter

Aug. 3, 2008 - Heart to Heart at our Co-op

We have 3 sections of our monthly co-op meeting

1. Oral Presentations – Show ‘n Tell for the younger kids, Report or Speech for the older ones.
2. Character Instruction – we divide into two groups to focus on a concept and then come together to learn a poem about the applications of the trait.
3. One hour where the kids either experience or learn something –sometimes in age-based groups, sometimes all together.

My favourite part of the co-op is the conversation I get to have with the older group as we discuss the Character trait.  I use questions to prompt discussions and scenarios, often they suggest, to help them see the point of my lesson.

This month our character trait was self control, and my lesson was on the need for self control when we feel angry.  I wanted them to know two main points

1. There is no grading scale for anger – you can kick and slam the door or you can say sharp words in frustration – it is all an expression of anger.
2. Anger doesn’t solve anything – though we can use it to recognize there is a problem

I used my Character Notes for my background notes.