while school went off wonderfully today , the rest of my world is in chaos or so it feels anyway. i can tell my iron is in dangerous low levels again but can not afford to got to the doctor yet.. i feel run down and tired.. i am taking my iron as prescribed but i need my other meds and don't have them.. being broke really bites .. I know in my heart i am meant to be at home with my girls and i am meant to be homeschooling yet i always feel guilty for not working outside the home.. i must not be budgeting well or something because on paper there is enough money but in reality there isnt or it is so tight there is no room for anything else at all..come income tax time i will finally be debt free except for my house payment so  we can see the light at the end of the tunnel if only we can make it there LOL.. the holidays are coming ... it is going to be hard to find extra to buy gifts this year.. 2 years ago i would have forgone a bill to make sure we had something under the tree, now i just can not do that.. i like my bills being made on time , i like seeing the balances at zero and the debt dwindling.. but there are days i long to call and beg for my credit cards back and go shopping just to make me feel better.. it is in my blood !! i get it honest!!LOL my kids have no need of anything but still i long to have loads of stuff under the tree for some crazy reason!!  i know i am blessed so i hate days like today when i feel so down...I have inherited a Kingdom and i am not worthy of it but i sit here today and fell sorry for myself... thankfully it wont last long.. i am off this weekend to see my nieces and nephews and Andy is going with us so it will be a nice family trip ..then sunday is a dinner at my moms.. love her cooking!!

  well laundry calls ... until next time and if anyone actually reads this than thanks for sticking with me ... it really does help to vent on here...