Better Left Unsaid - You'd Need A Wide Angle Lens to Get it All In

Jan. 10, 2007

You'd Need A Wide Angle Lens to Get it All In

When we started doing foster care/adoption, I didn't get the whole picture. I only thought about the kids that would come to our home. All kids, surprisingly, have biological families. That fact actually escaped me. So our family is much larger then it looks in a picture. Each child is holding a life before us and it sometimes is heavy. And if you love a child you want their heart to feel right about the past. That can be an elusive gift to give them.
And you love their families because they are part of someone you love.
I remember watching my little five year old hop down from the car and run up the driveway to her biological mom and giving her a big hug. I cried. Did that mom understand what she had given away? That little girl could have loved her like she loved me.
It's hard when you sit late at night with your teenage daughter as she mourns the mom she still misses. And boys can hold such anger....it hurts them and sometimes hurts others.
It's all the one thing I can't fix for these kids.
I pray for them that God will take the scars and heal them into strength that will be used for His glory one day.

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Comments

Jan. 10, 2007 - Untitled Comment

Posted by nsremom

I loved that you're there for these kids. I just get sick in my stomach sometimes when I think of kids like you describe.....without the safety of a loving foster mom.
You know you're a hero don't you?

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Jan. 11, 2007 - Kate....

Posted by ManyBlessings

It is very sad some days. Just the other day, I had a very hard and sad conversation with my 7 yr. old son ( you know the one) about his boi mom. He was soooo sad. He missed her, and was crying and sad.It took all I had not to cry with him, but to talk and hug him through his sadness.... because later, as we talked, it couold become anger as well.

Thank you for being my mentor!!! I love you!!

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Jan. 11, 2007 - Ugh -

Posted by jewls2texas

I used to be that kid - always mourning. Maybe not in foster care but through divorce - and living with aunts and uncles. I hate it for them and my heart breaks with you at the thought. If it helps at all - God can heal and restore even the most shattered heart. I know you already know that - but if you look at my teenage years and all that my aunt and uncle helped me through it is a miracle that only testifies to His greatness that I am able to stand today! Yes, I am marked by those years - and changed - but maybe for the better.
HUG the kids for me - !

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Jan. 11, 2007 - great picture

Posted by berrymorin

Love the picture. Happy De-Lurking Week!

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Jan. 11, 2007 - Untitled Comment

Posted by my2kids4Him

You are an amazing woman. I wouldn't even know how to help these kids because I would probably feel anger toward the bilogical familes for hurting them so. God knows what job to give who.....and you certainly seem to be doing a great job with what has he has given you. Blessings to you and your many precious children!

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Jan. 12, 2007 - Untitled Comment

Posted by Joanne

You and James do a great job bringing your foster/adoptive families into the picture as much as possible. Very admirable and gracious. And you get to be related to everyone in the county too. What a perk.

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Jan. 12, 2007 - God's Blessings to you

Posted by ktneis

I pray to God for your love and strength to help your kids face their pain and to help them heal. I pray for them to pass along all the love and care they found in your home to their families and hopefully change the cycle they came from. Amen.

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Jan. 16, 2007 - Untitled Comment

Posted by momn4boys

I came to your blog today thinking about how your life intrigues me. What would it be like to have that many kids that you are helping? Or even one! This post put some of it in perspective for me. I didn't think about the fact of having biological families in your lives also.

I am almost positive that you didn't post this in order to recieve a pat on the back, but I'm going to give you one any way. I agree --- you are a hero.

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Jan. 17, 2007 - it's not easy....

Posted by Panshrmu

but worth it in the end..........at least that's what I tell myself. We foster teens, and one girl has been here almost 6yrs. Many a times she has come home and sit on the steps crying for over an hour; after finding her mom after 12years, she calls and her mom is drunk and goes off on a rage, her family blackmails her, and she found her sister, who is in group home a few years ago. I get so mad at some of these bio families. Our 13yr old goes home and sleeps in the field, you name it. I understand. It isn't easy, but thank God for those who take these kids and help.

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Jan. 20, 2007 - as another adoptive mom

Posted by CarpeBanana

who knows what it is like to wish you could fix things... you said a mouthful there. Amen!

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Jan. 26, 2007 - Untitled Comment

Posted by Anonymous

I think about this a lot with our kids - how do you explain to a child that your mother just gave you away without damaging them forever.

We do have a relationship with Wesley's bio mother. She came over for a visit a few weeks ago. No idea how to contact the others though. It's tough. I can't even begin to imagine it when they are teenagers.

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