My sweet silly boy.  The other day Mark asked if he could get something out of his closet. I was busy doing other stuff and the next time I see Mark this is how he was dressed:

I tell him how very handsome he looks.  He says "this is my spy outfit.  Don't you think I look like a spy"  Yes, definitely.  :-) 

Today he was swimming with Bethany and Sam.  Here is our conversation:

Me:  Mark

Mark:  Yes, mommy.

Me:  Remember that Bethany has to wear those special ear plugs for her ears and so she can't hear very well.  If you need to talk to her, make sure she is looking at you so we don't have any misunderstandings or frustrations.

Mark:  AIRPLANE (pointing to the sky)

Me:  Smiling because I love the brain of a 5yo.

Mark:  I'm sorry.  Yes, mommy.  I will be sure to talk loud so Bethany can hear me.  Did you see that great airplane? 

We then had a great conversation about airplanes and the Wright brothers and he reminded me "you know, Grandma used to be a Wright"  :-)  I'm amazed he remembered that.  And then I followed back up with speaking loud wasn't as necessary as eye contact when talking to Bethany. 

My mother's employer recently had employee appreciation day where they give you free tickets to a local carnival.  The children had a great time spending the day with Nana and enjoying the rides.  It was very hot but lots of fun.  I think the heat kept a lot of people away which worked to our advantage.  The children didn't have to wait in any lines.  They could get off a ride and right back on. 

I didn't get lots of pictures but did snap a few.

Bethany Grace had on shorts and the seat was very hot and burned her legs so she didn't do this ride.  I'm so thankful for the love and kindness the older three show Mark.  They weren't negative at all about what some would call "baby rides"  They made a big deal about them and joined in with Mark.  They never said "that rides not very fun"  If Mark enjoyed it, they enjoyed it.  I praised each one of them later that evening for how they honored God by honoring their little brother. 

The bumper cars were their favorite. 

Bekah and Mark:

Sam:

Bethany:

Mark was thrilled beyond words when he was able to drive a bumper car all by himself.  I didn't think it would be allowed but the operator of this ride was so kind.  He told me that Mark was tall enough and so we would see how he did.  He really watched out for Mark and made sure he got this one certain car each time. 

This simple little 5-word phrase can make a huge difference in child-training, IMO.  We learned of "do you have the freedom" from GKGW material.  When a child asks "may I play outside" instead of us, the parents, saying "have you cleaned your room, made your bed, picked up toys.... ALL the toys, brushed your teeth" so on and so forth we can say "do you have the freedom?"  Now, of course, you must train your children in what this phrase means but that part of the process is very quick.  The next step in the process can be quick for some children and not so quick for others.    You know there are times in parenting where you feel like you have instructed the same thing a million times and you aren't seeing progress -- for the record, I'm not talking about obedience issues.  Those should be dealt with and taken care of, IMO.  The taking of ownership is something we typically don't give consequences for but continue to work and train through each opportunity.  This is what can be so very tiring. 

I have some children that picked up "do you have the freedom" very quickly.  They remembered that I would ask that and they typically do have the freedom when they ask me to do something.  Then we have other children that don't pick it up so quickly.  I'm talking it can take years for some.  I'm sure temperamanet plays a part in this but that doesn't excuse us not to work on it, right?!?!  Oh, how I wish it did.  :-)  So there is a particular child in our home that "do you have the freedom" training has been in progress for a couple of years.  Yes, I said YEARS. 

I am thrilled to report that yesterday this child came to me and asked "May I get out the big blocks to play with"  I said, "Do you have the freedom"  With the biggest smile you can imagine, this child gave a resounding "yes, mommy, I do have the freedom"  Oh the "pride" that was in the child's voice and smile.  YES!  Success!!!!!  The child ran off to play and came back before getting started and said "Mommy, I was happy for you to ask me because I knew that I would be able to say yes and really mean it"  See for the past two years that conversation has gone like this:

Child:  May I _____?

Me:  Do you have the freedom?

Child:  ummmm, let me go check.

30 minutes later (or ever how long it took them to take care of everything) the child returns with "yes, I now have the freedom"

OR

Child:  May I ______?

Me:  Do you have the freedom?

Child:  I think so.  (or any neutral answer)

Me:  Well, you may go sit while you think through if you have the freedom. 

There were many times I wondered if this child would ever truly apply "do you have the freedom"  This child does have a good percentage of FTO so that wasn't a problem.  The issue was really taking ownership and thinking through things (which I think is more difficult for the sanguine temperament) 

Have we arrived?  Oh, no, certainly not.  It won't be perfect from here on out but I'm thrilled at the progress that has been made and it gives me the encouragement and determination to keep on keepin' on.

We had a lovely time on vacation.   On the way there we stopped at a treehouse built by Minister Horace Burgess.  He built this treehouse out of scrap wood and it took him around 14 years to make.  I think that's what I remember reading.  It was really neat. 

*I* did not go all the way up.  I had planned on it but as we began our journey, I realized I wouldn't be able to do it.  The house isn't level (which shouldn't have surprised me but it did)  Between it being unlevel and the space between boards and I could see below, it was a no go for me.  I did make it up to the chapel room and it was neat.  The man is a gifted wood carver.  The children did go up with Brooks.  Mark was hugging the wall and wasn't too sure about it all. He was ready to come down when they did.

We had celebrated Sam's birthday the day before we left so we was excited to take some gifts along with him.  He was most excited about this tank he recv'd that goes on land and water.  It is very cool.

Once we got checked in and everything unloaded, we headed off to the pool and Sam took his tank with him.  The pool was nearly empty and so we all really enjoyed our evening there.  The life guard was very intrigued by the tank and said he planned to start his Christmas shopping for his grandchildren soon.  He was a very nice man.

The figures on the tank are Polly Pocket people.  They are waterproof and the children all had a great time playing rescue type stuff with all of it. 

It was wonderful having the pool mostly to ourselves.  I think most people were using the outdoor pools.

Mark found a new love of miniature golf.  He wanted to play every day and so we did.  He even got one special round of mini golf with just Daddy. 

We were rather surprised to notice that Mark switched back and forth between and right and left hand during the games.  We hadn't noticed a mixed handedness prior to this.  He always writes right handed so we'll be checking his dominance soon and keeping an eye on this.

Other gifts that Sam received for his birthday that we had tons of fun playing are Pit and Spy Alley.

If you don't have these games, you MUST get them.... especially Pit.  It is SO.MUCH.FUN!!!!  We spent countless hours playing it.  It is a LOUD game though.  Because we were in a condo we made sure to play during day hours and not too early.  Spy Alley is lots of fun too.  We give both of these games two thumbs up. 

We also spent as much time as possible out on the lake and boat.  The children all enjoyed taking turns driving the boat and swimming in the lake.

We saw this snake in the lake before they went swimming so I wasn't sure if they would want to swim or not but they did.

Brooks had to leave and get back to work so we invited our friend, The Arnold's, to come see us while there and stay with us.  They all couldn't come but my sweet friend, Val, and one of her boys, Conner, came.  We had a wonderful visit with them.  The children enjoyed the arcade as well.

Here are Mrs. Arnold and Bethany playing air hockey:

Bekah, Sam and Conner enjoyed a game of pool.

Our vacation was shorter than normal but we were thankful for every minute we did have.  I am so blessed to have such a wonderful family. 

We are home from vacation and I'm catching up on laundry and things around the home.  We had a wonderful time.  I'm downloading pictures now and hope to share tomorrow.  In the mean time, I have this family picture to share that was taken of us at a wedding we recently attended.

On Friday, May 22nd, we attended a beautiful wedding.   The wedding was outdoors and was simply beautiful.  It honored God, their parents, and was a blessing to each person that attended.   The bride and groom are two very special people to me.  I have been friends with the groom's family for 12 years.  In fact, his mother is my dear, dear friend and mentor.  I have known the young man since he was 9 years old.  I have known the bride's family for 9 years but been very close to them for the last 4 years.  When I found out they were marrying I said that it couldn't get any better -- my two favorite families uniting in holy matrimony.   

The wedding reminded me to be much more diligent than I have been about praying for the future spouse of each of our children.  I pray about that but not nearly as often as I should. 

Here are the bride and groom in their first dance as husband and wife:

And here is my beautiful crew:

Sam (10), Bethany (10), Bekah (12) Mark (5 -- watery eyes because he just received a hug and was poked in the eye) 

The boys:

The girls:

The reception that followed the wedding was filled with wonderful fellowship time.  The children (and adults) had a great time dancing and talking with one another.  It was a beautiful night.  I would even say it was perfect.

Here are some pictures of my kiddos dancing the night away.  :-)

We were so blessed to be a part of this wedding.  I'm thankful for the example these two families have set.  I'm thankful they are a big part of my life.  I'm thankful (and heeding) the reminder to pray diligently for spouses. 

Bethany Grace celebrated her 10th birthday this week.  She requested poppy seed chicken and mashed potates for dinner along with a red velevet cake so that's what she got.  I can't believe Bethany is now 10.  As all parents say, the time goes by so very quickly.

This week was our 6 month mark of starting chiropractic treatment for Bethany's scoliosis.  They did x-rays on Tuesday and we were thrilled to see how much it has improved.  I don't have the exact degree of improvement.  We'll get that at our next appointment but it was obvious in just looking at the x-rays that it has greatly improved.  We are praising God for the improvment.

On Friday Bethany had an ENT appointment and that went well too.  The great news is that her ears are all clear and look great.  The no-so-great news is that her nose still isn't healed 100% and will require surgery in the future.  Scar tissue has built up inside her nose from all of the infection and she will not be able to breathe properly until surgery is performed.  The doctor wants to wait a while before doing the surgery.  He wants her nose to be as good as it can get and wants Bethany to be older.

She is to continue with her allergy medicine.  We also got her ear plugs so she can enjoy swimming this summer. 

We attended a beautiful wedding on Friday but I'll save that for another entry.

Our Spring soccer season has ended.  We had more rain-outs than actual games.  It has been a very wet Spring for us.  Our lessons in soccer this season weren't at all what I thought they would be.  Our biggest lessons were in accepting the authority above us -- even when that authority makes poor calls.  We saw more poor calling this season than we have ever experienced.  The children noticed it and we had lots of conversations about it.  They also noticed that the poor calling went both ways.  It never appeared to be against any one team.  It was simply a poor job by the ref. all the way around.  I was pleased the children were able to recognize that. 

At Mark's last game of the season there was a scheduling issue with game times and fields.  I'll spare you the long story but the short of it is that the person in charge came over and told the coaches that we had to end our game at half time.  Of course no one was happy with this especially since we haven't been able to play that many games.  The opposing coach started making a huge deal out of it and was trying to get the parents of his team to "rise up" against this.  I said that we would accept the authority that is above us.  Bekah was sitting beside me so we began chatting about God's word on this subject.  When we were done discussing it, I turned to talk to a parent and the mom sitting beside Bekah said "What does the bible have to do with soccer?"  I didn't hear it and she wasn't asking Bekah.  According to Bekah, she was making a comment and laughing about our conversation.  Bekah shared this with us on the way home. 

Needless to say, we had WONDERFUL conversation about this comment.  We talked about how the bible has everything to do with EVERYTHING.  While it may be silent on the mechanics of soccer,  we can and should apply the bible to every aspect of our life.  Sadly, for many people the Bible is for Sunday morning and that's it.  We talked about how we should consider the Word of God in all we do and that means ALL we do:  what we read, what we watch, what we say, what we think, how we treat others etc...  It was a wonderful conversation.  While I'm sad that the mom that made the comment doesn't see the connection, I'm thankful the Lord placed her in our path that day. 

Bekah had her piano recital this past weekend.  She did a wonderful job.  She really enjoys playing the piano and it is very rare for me to have to remind her to practice.

Sunday was Mother's Day and I had a wonderful day.  I received a new printer/scanner/copier.  As you know from a previous entry, it was much needed and very much appreciated.  Now I can print and copy in color again. 

We had a wonderful time at church.  The teaching was excellent and the fellowship was wonderful.  The church provided the meal Sunday to give us moms a break from cooking. 

End-of-season soccer tournaments started Monday night.  We all lost -- some bigger losses than others.  Bekah's team lost with a score of 2-1 and Bekah scored the one goal they had.  It was a great game.  Bethany's team lost and I can't remember the score and Sam's team lost terribly.  I think it was 8-0.  Tuesday night was the second round of games.  Bekah's team went into a shoot out.  YIKES Bekah scored in the shoot out and her team ended up winning the game so they go to the Championship game on Saturday morning. 

Bethany's team lost 3-0 so they are out.  I think they do have a game on Thursday night but the outcome of it will make no difference for them for Championship game.  Sam's team lost as well.  I have felt so badly for Sam this soccer season.  He's a great player and is very competitive.  They have lost every single game.  Now losing is no fun but it's really no fun when you love the game, love playing, play your heart out and are super competitive.  (I wonder where he gets that?)   I share all of this to say that I am sooo proud of him.  He has kept the best attitude.  Never once has he stopped playing his hardest.   Never once has he gotten angry, upset or any poor attitude about this season.  He has gone into each game with a positive attitude and played his hardest.  I am sooo sooo soooo proud of him.  As the season began and they lost the first few games I suspected that we were going to have lots of training opportunities to walk through this.  He's never been on a losing team.  God has been so gracious to allow us to see so much fruit in our son.  By no means have we "arrived" but I'm so thankful for the progress that has been made and even more grateful that God would allow a look at this fruit in his life.   It has also been wonderful to see the other children encourage Sam in this season.  Bekah has had her fair shares of losing seasons and she's been able to really relate to what he's going through.  She is competitive but not quite as competitive as Sam.  She's been an amazing sister during this time.  She has come along side him and encouraged him and told him she understands what it's like.  She's encouraged him in every aspect of it and I'm so proud of her.  She's been able to enjoy her winning season but has also been mindful of Sam's losing season.  Again, so grateful for the fruit God is allowing us to see. 

After Sam's game last night, Sam was disappointed.  Mark went over to encourage and comfort him.  It was so sweet.

I had it all planned to start back to school this week.   We school year round and have enjoyed about 4 weeks off. 

Monday went great.   We had a great day and all went as planned.  Well, almost as planned.  My printer isn't working very well.  It will print black & white items just fine but the color is a "no go". 

Tuesday was a busy day, which I knew ahead of time and had made adjustments in my planning for this week.  Bekah had her piano evaluation   and then she had an orthodontist appointment followed by a mom's meeting that I was hosting that night. 

Wednesday Bekah woke with a sore throat which turned into a fever and aches.   Called our pediatrician and they said to bring her in.  So we took her in and they did a strep test.  The rapid test came back negative so we wait for the call to see how the overnight culture does.  He said he thinks it's just a virus that needs to run its course.   I take the time to deal with the printer again because I really need some color items for Mark (we are rowing Miss Rumphius this week) and I still can't get the color to work. ugghhhhh

So here we are on Thursday and things are not going as planned.  I remind myself that it's okay if school doesn't go as planned this week.  God is in control and none of this is taking Him by surprise.  As I type this entry, all children are still asleep so I'm not sure what today will hold but I do know that we'll follow Psalm 34:1.

Psalm 34:1 "I will praise the LORD at all times;
    His praise will always be on my lips"

A comment was left asking me to comment/expound more on non-conflict training. 

Non-conflict training is a time set aside each day to work with your child on things that need work (preferably before they are a "problem")  Often times parents get frustrated and upset by the behavior of their child but when asked "have you taught him what he should do" the answer is no, they haven't trained/taught the child what he should be doing.  This training time takes place when the child is well rested, not hungry and his love tank has been filled.  I, personally, did this time each morning when my children were all younger.  It is ideal to keep the sessions short and positive.  Many moms I have talked to did the training time too long because the child was enjoying it.  It is great that they enjoy it but you want to stop with them wanting more. 

What types of things do I do during non-conflict training?

Absolutely ANYTHING and EVERYTHING I want to train the child/ren in.  I always use non-conflict training time when training a baby to go from a crib to a big boy/girl bed,  First time obedience (FTO),  using the interrupt rule, how to act in a store, how to sit quietly, how to use the appeal process, blanket time, assigned toy time, how to handle things when they aren't going as they should (a friend or sibling that won't share) etc...  You really can use non-conflict training for anything at all. 

If you are having a friend over and the friend is bringing a child younger than your child, you can do non-conflict training time with your child on what would be appropriate with this younger child.  We used a phrase "playing on Susie's level" (or whatever the child's name is) 

When a child goes from riding in the cart at a store to walking beside you, you can set up a store in your home and during non-conflict time, train on proper behavior. 

You can also use non-conflict training time if you see a behavior creeping in that you don't desire.  It is best to catch it before the behavior becomes a habit.

We have had beautiful weather here and we are enjoying every moment of it.  Saturday the children all had soccer games.  I didn't do great with getting pictures.  Bekah's team had to forfeit the game because they didn't have enough players. 

Sam's team lost but he had lots of fun and played a good game.

Bethany Grace played goalie for the first half of the game.  She didn't let any goals in!  She played both offense and defense during the 2nd half. 

Mark's game overlapped with Bethany's game so I didn't get any pictures of him and only caught the last couple of minutes of his game. 

After games we were off to our church retreat.  The children were so excited about it.   We love our church family and had the most wonderful time with them this weekend. 

Here is Bekah with one of her friend's.

And another one of Bekah on a little hike we took.

Bethany enjoying her bike:

And Sam on his:

I just now realized I didn't get any pictures of Mark.    He enjoyed his bike and also did a great job sharing his bike with the other children. 

We are thankful for a wonderful weekend.  We continue to marvel at God and all His creation.   What a Mighty God We Serve!!!

I recv'd this e-mail:

How did you teach your children what to do when you have unexpected visitors?  When I stopped by your house unexpectedly, there wasn't chaos.  In fact, things were rather orderly.  What did you do?  Do you give bread to every unexpected visitor?

Any time I want to work with the children on something I use non-conflict training time.  This is a time of day when everyone is alert, not hungry and well rested.  I tell the children what we are going to be working on and we do so.  I continue with the non-conflict training until they understand it and can be held accountable for this new item.  For pop-in visitors the general rule is, we greet them at the door (each child says hello and how are you today -- or something along those lines)  Then each child gets a book and sits down to read.  For non-readers, they sit and look at the book.  This allows me time to evaluate how long this visit will last.  Some pop-in visitors are only there for a few moments while other visits can take longer.  If the visit is going to take longer, then after 15 minutes or so, I will instruct the children on what to do.  This is our general rule we follow when we have pop-in visitors.  Of course, there are exceptions to this rule.  If the pop-in arrives and we are in the middle of an activity that the children can continue on without me, then they greet the guest and go back to the activity. 

The bread -- this part of the question cracked me up.  Our goal is to always have an extra loaf of bread available to be given away.  This does not always happen but it is our goal.  We enjoy blessing others (even if it is just a loaf of bread)   There have been days when a company delivers a package and if bread has been baking they will comment on the smell.  I love having a loaf available to give them. 

Saturday was another fun-filled day at the soccer field.  It was also picture day, which added a bit of chaos but it's all good.  :-)

Bethany is not supposed to have that watch on while playing.  She forgot about it and she started out playing goalie so it was covered by the goalie shirt.  Then once out of goalie position, no one noticed and she didn't remember until after the game. 

Mark and Jackson hanging out watching Bethany's game:

I think Mark enjoys talking more than he enjoys playing soccer.  This is what you'll see him doing during most of his soccer game:

Bethany Grace had an appointment with the ENT.  This was her first appointment since surgery.  The appointment went well.  The doctor was beyond pleased with how her nose is looking.  He said several times that he was pleasantly surprised about how it is doing.  Her energy levels aren't "normal" but they do seem to be slowly coming back and he said this will continue in time.  She's been sick for a long time.  Her right ear is still infected.  Her left ear is clear and looks great.  Another round of antibiotics for the right ear and different ear drops.  He thinks we should look into allergy testing but he wants to wait a bit on it.  He is happy with how things are progressing and likes the allergy medicine she is currently on.  He said he wanted to wait until after her next appointment (5/22) before we move on to allergy testing. 

Bethany's favorite part of the appointment was being released to "full activity".  That means she can play soccer this weekend. 

I have certainly neglected my blog for a bit.  Time for catch-up.  :-)

Bethany Grace is enjoying being able to hear and being showered with all the gifts she has been receiving. 

She continues to rest quite a lot

We go back to the ENT this Friday, 17th. 

We enjoyed soccer games two weeks ago.  This last week we were on Spring break from soccer.  The timing of that worked out well as Bethany only has to miss one soccer game even though she has no activity for two weeks. 

Obviously, Bekah does not get her legs from me. 

We finished our school week last week.   

We will enjoy taking a few weeks off and then get going with it again. 

Really bad storms came through TN on Friday.  I was reminded once again of what an amazing church family we have.  The news reported funnel cloud activity in our town.  We were out to lunch and mall with my sister for the day so I was clueless about all the weather.  My cell phone began ringing off the hook with church family and friends calling to check on us.  We love our amazing church family so much.  Once we returned home, I had lots of messages there as well.  Thankfully we had no damage from the storm but many homes were lost in a nearby town.

We had a wonderful Resurrection Day yesterday remembering all that Christ has done for us!

Today I had these conversations with Mark.

Mark:  You are a funny Mommy.

Me:  You think *I* am funny?

Mark:  Yes, Mommy.  You are a very funny Mommy.

Me:  No, I'm a mean grumpy Mommy.

Mark:  Well, we are all grumpy sometimes but you are a really funny mommy.

Later in the day:

Mark:  Mommy, were you ever a kid?

Me:  Yes, I used to be a kid.

Mark:  Did you have Wii when you were a kid?

Me:  No, we didn't have Wii when I was a kid.

Mark:  Oh, that's sad.