Jul. 21, 2008 - Thinking on some hard things, but most importantly counting the blessings....
Tonight I feel so caught off guard of late. You know that feeling where nothing is falling in place, nothing is adding up. I just feel "off". I've been really getting into the start of the next school year and looking forward to it, and I count my blessing this opportunity is mine. But the other "things" are whats up and has put me in such a tailspin. My best friend since I was 13, and I'm now 40, has decided she is a deist, believes basically in God but feels Jesus was just a prophet. She said after her study of things this is where she feels satisfied in her religion. I love her, I don't judge her, its not my place. She respects that I fully believe God , Jesus died on the cross for my sins, rose on the third day, and there is a trinity, there will be a rapture. In my heart after we speak on these matters, I'm not confused, I know what I believe, I just feel like she has been mislead. She finds it offensive that Christians (she says she was one) say that if you don't believe on the cross and what Jesus did that she will go to hell. Which she really questions heaven and hell. Believes in no angels, and believes that all you need to do is be good to others and do the right things, which I also think as Christ does, that we should love our neighbor, not be judgemental. I am not a confronter, never have been, but I feel so sorry that I am not a good witness to her. Her mind is made up. I try, I pray, but in the end, I just am not strong enought to address some of the issues she can bring up. Now for a blessing, I'm healthy, my family is healthy and my husband has a job that supports us so that I can homeschool, my marriage is solid, I can attend a church of my choice, I can read my bible, I am free to make my own decisions. I do not want to offend people, I can only say that for me and my house we will serve the Lord. Sorry this post is all over the place it just seems the craziest things have been going on and all I want to do is make sure that I address every thing in the way Jesus would. I thank God he is so patient with me. But I thank Him so much for that faith He has given to us, to just let go and trust and believe.
I'm sorry to hear about your friend, but I'd like to give you some hope. I spent the first 24 years of my life seeing the world as your friend does. It's the Holy Spirit that has to work on her now. I think you've done the right thing by sticking to what you believe without railing on her about her beliefs. If you are happy in your faith and pray for her, you've done all you can. The rest is up to God. At the appointed time, He'll open her eyes to what He really is and has done for her.
I have been homeschooling for 2 years now, and it is the best decision that I have ever made. I have been blessed with a supportive husband and family. A is 9 and C is 7, we love every minute that the Lord gives us, and now we are blessed to have my mom and dad living with us.
