With a new school year starting, I took some time to think about how we got to where we are.  This is our story of how and why we are a homeschooling family.

When my firstborn, H1, was almost three the big question was, "Where is he going to preschool?".  I don't know how it is in your part of the world, but here you are to put your three year old in preschool like it is some unwritten rule.  Now, you do not put your little darlin' in any preschool, but one that has a flawless reputation, cream of the crop, and accredited.  If you did not follow this prescription your child would not have a competitive edge in Kindergarten.  The fact that almost every church in town has a preschool and that the majority of them are full with waiting lists speaks volumes about where the priorities are.

I was the typical young mom who was trying to navigate her way through motherhood trying my best to do what was right for my children.  Whether we want to admit this or not, we are greatly influenced by the people that we are friends with.  My circle of friends all had children around the same age as mine and it seems that they would all follow the same path for their children because it was the thing to do.  If the world said to do something this way, they would do that.  If the group decided that this is what we should do with our children, they would do that.  I was the oddball, imagine that.  I would question things that did not seem right and did not sit well with me, and my friends would look at me like I had three heads.  Preschool was one of those subjects that I questioned.

Our former church was creating one of these power preschools.  They said it was going to become the top preschool in the area, cream of the crop.  They were pouring a ton of money into the place and the church was building a state of the art preschool, children, and youth building.  It was going to be the best of the best and they would later put in a playground that would cost almost as much as our home.  It was going to become the place that everyone wanted their child to be and it was right in our church home.  Everything was perfect, right?  Why did it not feel right?  Why was I questioning this?  I shared my uneasiness with one of my good friends and she told me I had to let him go sometime and to quit being so overprotective. .  I was like, "Huh?  He is only 2!".  She went on to encourage me to put my baby in mother's day out and to get some "me time".  I felt as is I had been slapped.  I was the oddball who was going against the flow.  To make matters more complicated, my mom was pushing me to sign him up and she was a preschool teacher at her church for over 20 years and she of course taught three year olds.  I was even going against what my mom thought was best for her grandson?  What was wrong with me?  Imagine the pressure that I felt?  It was overwhelming.

I blindly followed my friends and signed H1 up for the preschool.  Church members were allowed to enroll their children in February even though preschool did not start until September.  I filled out the mountain of paperwork and paid the fee.  It was set and my heart was breaking.  What would H2 do while his best friend was gone to preschool?  They have been inseparable since his birth.   We had many months to think about these questions and many others.  That time was an enormous time of growth for us as a family and with our walk with God.

I love being a mom and I have always wanted to be one.  I love being home with my kids.  Yes, I sometimes feel like a lunatic, but I would not change anything.  I love being home and I place a great value on that.  I had been a public school teacher for 6 years when H1 was due to arrive.  I bought into the myth that you could have it all and I signed a contract to teach the following year.  He was born in June and I had the summer to spend with him.  When that baby boy was placed in my arms for the first time I had never felt that kind of love.  I would do anything for this precious 10 pound baby boy.  I could hardly stand to put him down and wanted to hold on to him forever.  The summer was heavenly until the end of July came with the realization that I had signed a contract and was obligated to go back to work.  How could I do that?  I was able to play with the FMLA laws and extend my leave until October since he was born between my contract periods.  I was not ready in October either.  He was only four and a half months old and he was my baby?  My heart was breaking.  We have some wonderful neighbors who are like family and loved H1 dearly and came to our house to take care of him so I could go back to work.  My heart was breaking.  I was able to come home during lunch to nurse him and I could not get away from school fast enough when that bell rang at 3:15.  My baby was my focus and I hated being away from him.  I cried everyday.  My husband traveled for his job three, four, and sometimes five days a week and I was on my own.  I had no family nearby to help out.  My heart was breaking.  I loved this baby more than anything in the world.  I had to do something.  On paper it did not make any sense to quit my job.  Our finances screamed at us that we needed both incomes.  My heart screamed louder and we took a huge step of faith and put God in control of our finances.  I declined my contract for tenure the following year.  My teacher friends asked how I could give it all up and wondered how I could afford it.  They had their children in various forms of child care and it worked out well for them.  They told me that they had to work.  I assured them that I felt the same way, but I had to follow my heart.  God provided for our needs and we were thankful.  I was home with my baby boy and the bills all got paid on time. 

We soon welcomed another baby boy.  H1 and H2 are 22 months apart and each others best friends.  You could see the love that they have for each other early on.  They were quickly inseparable and one of H2's favorite activities was watching his big brother.  He would sit on my lap or in his bouncy seat or exersaucer and be perfectly content as long as he had his big brother to watch.  It was and still is beautiful to me.  H1 would "read" books to him and he would hang on his bubba's every word.  The way he looked up to him was magical and the love and protection the big brother showed to his baby brother still makes me cry.

With this close relationship, how could I send his best friend to preschool during the day?  What would he do without him there since he has only known a world where he has an adoring big brother there all day long? 

To be continued...................................................................................................