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It has been over a year since we bought our home here in historic Tidewater Virginia, but less than a year since we moved into the house. The old farmhouse required a lot of renovating...and still does. We had to completely redo many of the walls and ceilings downstairs, reconstruct the rotting bathroom on the first floor, and add a bathroom upstairs for the children to share. Once the main things were finished (electricity and plumbing done, drywall up and painted, but trim and other finishing touches still missing) we moved in. We had been staying in my parents' home for some time...all seven of us, plus our three dogs, two cats, three horses, one pony, and two potbellied pigs! They were very gracious to allow us to stay for so long while we searched for the house God wanted for us, but we all felt it was time to get the "new life" we planned out in the country started, and we were anxious to see what that new life would bring. The funny thing is that I feel we still haven't quite started yet. It seems there is so much to do and so little time in every day...or at least there is limited energy (Well, on my part, anyway. Maybe not on the part of the kids!). It frustrates me when I work all day, yet feel I have not accomplished enough because there is still so much to do. I heard a sermon the other day that said if you reach the end of the day feeling like you did not get done what you had to do, then maybe you are not doing what GOD wants you to do because God always gives you enough time to execute HIS plans. Hmmmm. That makes me think this morning. I woke early and lay in bed thinking about, "When will I get the garden put in and the flower beds built? Where will we put the new baby (who is due in June)? How will I get all these things organized to make room for everything a new baby requires (especially with me being on limited activity for the next month to avoid an early delivery)? When will we get a chicken tractor and coop built to house the 37 chicks living in a brooder on our front porch? When will I get the kids together to go on that field trip I promised (so I can feel like we are homeschooling properly)? When will I get our homeschooling, chores, kitchen, closets, drawers, bookshelves, garage, barn, etc. organized enough that I don't feel like I am failing in some way all the time?" I realize I need to get past this impulse to achieve what I in my flesh see as "good enough" and just focus on what God has for me to do at this time...namely loving God, loving my kids and my husband and my family, homeschooling, and making a healthy and happy home. These other things I find to focus on may indeed be a part of that picture, but on God's timing, not mine. That control is the most difficult thing to relenquish. I suppose that all of these worries (that I am usually fairly adept at putting on the back burner having had much practice in waiting since my hubby is in the Navy) were my brain's attempt to avoid the thing that is most pressing and inevitable in our lives right now...my father's five or six bypass next week. Before a week ago, I was not even aware that there WAS a thing such as a six bypass, let alone know anyone who had one. I do know that right now, supporting my father and my mother has to be the most important use of our time. Honoring our parents is something the Lord asks us to do. Not only are they my parents, but they are my brother and sister in Christ and I need to be available to minister to them in their time of need. Therefore, I MUST find the time to do that...and I WANT TO because I love them. I will have to trust that the Lord will give us time to accomplish the rest...at least the parts that HE thinks are needful...and that is what has to matter. The rest, well, I need to give it to Him and He will provide, or we will discover that it wasn't something we really needed after all. |
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Posted by Kristy
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