Posted in To Be a Mother
Do you have a child that loves to talk? I don't mean just a little bit, but a constant chatter about nothing in particular? How do you react to this child? How do you talk about him/her to your friends (either real-life or on-line)? Do you respond in love or in frustration? Lately it seems I have heard more and more frustration with these type of children. Everything from "I don't want to leave the other children at homeschool group knowing I will be stuck with my talkative child" to "He just won't shut up!". Moms!!!! Do we really think this way about our children?!!
We do not use the phrase "shut up" in our house, and it pains me when I hear a mother say it to their child. It just sounds so mean and uncaring! It bothers me when mothers use it in a forum post. I know that many people use different language, but I don't think "shut up" is polite in any form.
The child that is talking a lot is learning to use his/her vocabulary. He/She is testing out new words, phrases or sentences. The child is learning to communicate. There are ways to guide the talkative child to a shared conversation - but you have to be willing to open your heart to it. Yes, I have children that LOVE to talk - a lot. Sometimes about nothing, sometimes about something they hold dear that I don't necessarily care about at that given moment. My reaction to them can change them. Do I pay attention to what they are telling me? Most of the time I do - I repeat back to them what they have told me. I show an interest in what they are saying. Sadly, I am sometimes side-tracked and may respond with a quick really? that means I'm hearing but not listening. I feel terrible when this happens because I am showing my child that he/she is not as important to me as I say. This makes for a humble mommy that asks forgiveness and makes a mental note to change.
Your child doesn't always share your interests, but they go with you or listen to you when you talk about the interests you have. I have a duty to my children to help them develop their gifts - and most of my children have gifts that are definitely not like mine. I need to listen when they are talking non-stop because they truly have something to say. You can learn a lot about your child by just listening.
There are some children who will use talking as an attention-getter. Examine your interactions with the child and be sure you are giving your child the attention he/she deserves from you. Children are not an inconvenience - they are a blessing from God and He trusts you to treat them the way He does. Do not let the telephone or the internet or anything else rob you of your precious time with your children. The time passes by quickly!
If you take the time to listen to your talkative child and respond with a conversation and not a quick reply to get them to stop talking, the problem may correct itself. You may find yourself having very good conversations with your child for years to come because you took the time when they were just learning.
Moms, love your children. Not just when they do what you want or act how you want, but all the time - without exception. Just as you wouldn't want a friend talking about you behind your back, don't talk about your children behind their backs. Instead of complaining about the child that talks all the time, praise the Lord that you have a child that CAN talk and communicate with you. Count your blessings and the blessings that your children are!!
We do not use the phrase "shut up" in our house, and it pains me when I hear a mother say it to their child. It just sounds so mean and uncaring! It bothers me when mothers use it in a forum post. I know that many people use different language, but I don't think "shut up" is polite in any form.
The child that is talking a lot is learning to use his/her vocabulary. He/She is testing out new words, phrases or sentences. The child is learning to communicate. There are ways to guide the talkative child to a shared conversation - but you have to be willing to open your heart to it. Yes, I have children that LOVE to talk - a lot. Sometimes about nothing, sometimes about something they hold dear that I don't necessarily care about at that given moment. My reaction to them can change them. Do I pay attention to what they are telling me? Most of the time I do - I repeat back to them what they have told me. I show an interest in what they are saying. Sadly, I am sometimes side-tracked and may respond with a quick really? that means I'm hearing but not listening. I feel terrible when this happens because I am showing my child that he/she is not as important to me as I say. This makes for a humble mommy that asks forgiveness and makes a mental note to change.
Your child doesn't always share your interests, but they go with you or listen to you when you talk about the interests you have. I have a duty to my children to help them develop their gifts - and most of my children have gifts that are definitely not like mine. I need to listen when they are talking non-stop because they truly have something to say. You can learn a lot about your child by just listening.
There are some children who will use talking as an attention-getter. Examine your interactions with the child and be sure you are giving your child the attention he/she deserves from you. Children are not an inconvenience - they are a blessing from God and He trusts you to treat them the way He does. Do not let the telephone or the internet or anything else rob you of your precious time with your children. The time passes by quickly!
If you take the time to listen to your talkative child and respond with a conversation and not a quick reply to get them to stop talking, the problem may correct itself. You may find yourself having very good conversations with your child for years to come because you took the time when they were just learning.
Moms, love your children. Not just when they do what you want or act how you want, but all the time - without exception. Just as you wouldn't want a friend talking about you behind your back, don't talk about your children behind their backs. Instead of complaining about the child that talks all the time, praise the Lord that you have a child that CAN talk and communicate with you. Count your blessings and the blessings that your children are!!
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