Little Samuel is so precious and he's doing great. We both had an easy recovery after the birth, it's amazing how much difference having him born at home made for him! He definitely had it easier than any of my hospital babies. However, he like the others wants to be nursing or in my arms at all times, every second which makes it hard for me to accomplish much, but we're all finding our new groove. I'm so thankful for the help and the breaks that the Lord has provided. It's definitely not easy having so many little ones. It's amazing to me how much I change and grow with each child. I'm sure they teach me just as much as I will ever teach them.

Born at home on 11-10-09 at 10:25am.

6 pounds, 10 ounces.

19.5 inches.

He was the same exact size at birth as my first.

We are so thankful for this perfect little guy, he is everything I prayed for and more.  The birth was wonderful and peaceful, and his disposition is peaceful, just like I prayed for. Chad and I made a great team during labor, my back labor was really bad and his hands were big and warm and we got into this groove where he squeezed a certain spot on my hip and it relieved a lot of the back labor pain. Everytime I had a contraction I would call for him "Chad, help!" or "Chad, squeeze me please!" and he would come running over to squeeze my hip. The midwives tried to take his place, but their hands just weren't big or warm enough.  They said I was a woman who definitely knew what I needed.

This birth was so different from a hospital birth. First of all, we didn't have to rush around to leave and go to the hospital, which was great. Second, nobody ordered me around. I just did what I felt like. I wasn't sure I'd be able to birth without being ordered around since I always depended so much on my hospital midwives and what they told me to do during my past births, but it was nice to do whatever I felt like. They didn't take him away from me or traumatize him right after the birth by poking and prodding and suctioning him. Everything was much more peaceful and calm, and I am very thankful.

Lots of pictures!

This is Audri's little hand on my forehead....isn't that the sweetest thing?! She came in a couple of minutes after he was born.

Does she look excited to have a baby brother or what?? She was soooooo excited for him to be born and loves him so much. She's an awesome big sister.

My lovely midwives...

Weighing him...

He looked so tiny to me, I kept asking if he was especially tiny and they told me no, that I had just forgotten how tiny newborns are (not sure how since it's only been 16 months, lol) but we were all surprised that he weighed 6.10, one of the midwives guessed just under 6 pounds at first.

In this one you can see the molding around the base of his skull because he came out with his head straight on instead of curved down, which normally causes the "cone shaped" head newborns usually have. The midwives said he didn't make things easy on me, and his head placement was most likely what caused my back labor. He also came out with his hand by his face,  just like Carter did.

He looks a lot like Chad.

Here he is today at 4 days old...

And lastly, my little baby and my humungo baby...

I'm still here and still pregnant! I was shocked to find out at my appointment yesterday that I am already 4cm with a VERY low baby since the week before he was still high and I wasn't dilated at all. I haven't had many contractions the past week (which is why I was so surprised), although they have increased in the last couple days. I guess this is par for the course for me as I get towards the end. Then once I go, I usually go fast and furious. Chad is being so protective of me and barely letting me move at all so I can make it until Monday. That is when I will be 37 weeks and able to deliver at home! I'm thinking Tuesday would be a really neat day to deliver so his birthday would be 11-10-09  

My birth kit was delivered in the mail today and we're really excited. I think Chad's even more on board for the home birth than I am!  We're both really looking forward to the birth, and so excited to meet this little guy.

Here I am with my babies the other night...

Eli has really been acting up lately, the little stinker. He's almost 3 and this is getting into my not-so-favorite age.  Life is full, that's for sure!

Here are 2 of my sweeties cuddling this morning...

And a very porcelain-skinned baby as daddy chased him up the stairs before bath the other night...I think he definitely has his daddy's coloring!

That's all for now, time to get back home!

I was inspired to do this by an article I read in an old Above Rubies magazine.

I love being a "homemaker" because...

I get to snuggle with warm little bodies in my bed first thing in the morning for as long as we want. There is no rush to get everyone ready and out the door so I can get to work and drop them off at daycare, etc.

I get to be there to notice every, single cute thing my children do throughout the day, and teach them and train them when they do the not-so-cute things.

I know my children have the security and comfort that many children don't have, because they know what to expect from each day, that our home is a peaceful place where we are all together and they can learn and play and relax in their safest haven with their mother watching over them. I know that brings them tremendous comfort.

I love working hard to turn a messy room into something clean and uncluttered. The reward is immediate.

I love scrubbing the kitchen floor on my hands and knees and making it sparkle.

I love vacuuming.

I love doing all of these necessary tasks on my own time and with my own motivation, and not because a boss is forcing me to do them or putting me on a timetable.

I love not being on someone else's timetable.

I love the freedom of being the one to decide what we will do each day, and when.

I love smelling the head and neck of a freshly bathed little one.

I love being the one to bathe my little ones, and make them all clean and happy.

I love burning candles, and the way they make a room smell.

I love teaching my children much of what they need to know, that is the most awesome responsibility I have ever had and I take it very seriously.

I love learning alongside my children all day.

I love the things my children teach me in the difficult times that often come during our days together.

I love knowing they are eating healthy, well balanced foods that help their bodies.

I love taking pictures of them.

I love reading stories to my children.

I love watching them work on a picture, or a letter, or a little project that they come up with.

I love going for walks in the middle of the day with my 2 olders walking alongside of me and my little ones happily tucked into the stroller.

I love deciding at the last minute to go to the park, and just being able to get everyone ready and go, just because.

I love giving my children the peace, safety and security that only this life could give them.

I love that my husband is so supportive of me staying at home and homeschooling. I love that he believes in it even more than I do at times.

I love that I get to be there when my husband comes home after work, and that we get relaxed evenings and weekends together.

I just love being with my family and on that note, it's time to get back home to them!

Well, fall fun is in full swing around here.  We carved our pumpkin the other day and tomorrow we are planning on going to our church's Harvest Party.

Eli was completely disgusted and didn't know what to think...LOL

Meanwhile Audri dove elbow-deep into the pumpkin and was so proud of herself for actually touching it this year. This girl doesn't do things halfway!

She tried to convince Carter to touch the pumpkin guts, but he wasn't falling for it...

Getting past tomorrow pregnancy-wise will be another milestone because I did not want to have a baby on Halloween, ick. As of now it still seems like he's perfectly comfy in there and won't be coming anytime soon, so we'll see.

We have a family tradition of going to this adorable little orchard here in town each year to pick out our pumpkins. They have a tractor, a hay maze, and all kinds of fun stuff but it's up on the side of a mountain and not many people seem to know about it.  We've gone the last 3 years and it's so fun to see how the children have grown each year.

2007-

2008-

2009-

Sniff. They all grow so fast!

We had so much fun there, we always do. It's become one of our favorite fall traditions, I think. The kids loved running through the hay maze about 10 times. Then they found a "butt" pumpkin, which we all thought was pretty funny.

Hahaha.

It's getting chilly though, so I'm glad we went this weekend! When I looked back at the pictures from last year, I realized we went there almost the same exact day last year- on the 25th instead of the 24th.

In pregnancy news, I will be 35 weeks on Monday (the 26th) and I am officially very uncomfortable. Still not having many contractions, but I'm really hoping baby doesn't get too comfortable in there. Sitting hurts, walking hurts, laying down hurts. Thankfully it's not excruciating yet, and I hope it doesn't get to that point this time. Chad really wants me to make it to the 9th so we can have our homebirth (I'll be 37 weeks then and it looked like we might not be able to have the homebirth afterall because of insurance stuff that just came up with the midwives, but they agreed to do it anyway if I make it to the 9th) but at this point, as long as I make it past Halloween, baby can come anytime as far as I'm concerned.  Having a homebirth would still be preferable, but I'm at peace either way. I'm just getting really anxious/excited to get through the birth and meet this new little one!

Audri is such a good big sister.  She loves Nathan so much and carries him around and plays with him without me even asking. As I've progressed in the pregnancy I ask her to get him out of his bed in their room when he wakes up from his nap because it's so much easier on me than having to lug myself and him around, lol. She happily skips up there, and they come sliding down on the stairs together, sometimes she plays with him on her bed for a little while.

I believe children in bigger families are extra blessed. They have so many playmates and so many people who love them. It's so much fun to watch my children develop such close relationships with eachother.

Carter and Eli have been getting closer lately now too, they crack eachother up all day long. Carter just has to look at Eli and he starts laughing. They also wrestle like maniacs but Chad says that's normal for brothers.  Eli and Nathan will often hold hands in their carseats whenever we're in the car. It's the sweetest thing.

We have a lot of construction going on right outside of our house right now. They're completely tearing out and redoing the entire road in front of our street. I'm hoping it's done by the time the baby gets here! The children have enjoyed watching all of the trucks and interesting machines do their different jobs.

I'm 34 weeks, 1 day today and so far I have had ZERO episodes of preterm labor. Normally by now, it's all I can do just to keep myself from going into labor. So baby seems perfectly happy and content in there. Must be all the Chinese take-out I've been eating, haha. I'm actually getting nervous about going full term, I've only done that once and while I am enjoying these last few weeks of pregnancy, going another 6 weeks seems like too long!

This was taken when I was 32.6 weeks...

Baby is getting bigger! Eli was born at the gestational age this baby will be tomorrow, and he was just shy of 6 pounds! This little guy likes to roll around, he's gotten more active in there although he's never been a forceful kicker.

These pictures were all taken yesterday. Chad and I are having fun with our new camera.  When I came downstairs yesterday from resting, Laurene- the wonderful angel sent from God who I will be eternally grateful to- had the children lined up on the floor like this.

It has been such a blessing to have some help during the days. She has been so giving and selfless in helping me the past couple of weeks, and she's committed to helping through when the baby is born. I am so thankful.

Nathan LOVES playing with the big crayon box and he decided to suck on a marker.

I turned around and he didn't like that. Stinker.

Here he is getting into the crayon box again later last night...

he makes the BIGGEST messes!

The other day I was sitting on the floor cleaning up one of Nathan's messes and he crawled over and sat down on my lap. Then Eli came over and sat down. Pretty soon Carter noticed and sat down by me and when Daddy got the camera out, Audri ran over.

Look at Nathan's shirt, he drools constantly!! Ick! But I sure do love my babies.

I was 32.4 weeks when these pictures were taken (yesterday) and I'm closing in on my goal of 37 weeks. I really hope I make it this time, so I can have my homebirth. 4 weeks seems so short in the larger span of things, but the last few weeks are really difficult because I'm anticipating the birth and so excited to meet the baby, everyday seems to drag on as I wait.

I feel huge, my appetite has increased and I'm just going with it since my midwives told me I need to eat more.  But I'm at the point where I can't bend over and breathing is difficult, I've already gained around 28 pounds, I just feel like a cow. Blah. But it's all worth it, I can't wait to meet this little guy.

Today we went to Seattle to pick up our fixed laptop, which is why I'm able to blog and post pictures again. We still don't have the internet at home and probably never will, but my once a week visits to Starbucks to get online are nice. Things are going well and I'm actually feeling pretty good. My pelvic bones are more sore, but still very tolerable so I am thankful for that. Audri and I have 3 more weeks of school until we are taking our baby break. We've completed 7 weeks of this year so far (2nd grade) and things are going very well. We've stayed on or ahead of task the entire time, so I'm very happy for that. I think we will both welcome the break when it comes though.

Carter has even been working on some things, like getting better at reading and learning how to write his name. See?

On Thursday I took the kiddos to the park to burn off some energy and have some fun, since the weather is quickly becoming very chilly! I'm not anticipating that we have many more nice days until winter is here in full force. Nathan LOVED the slide, and I got so many silly pictures of him.

Nice and calm before the slide...

Whhheeeeeeee......

This is what he would do when he got to the bottom if I didn't immediately put him right back up at the top...

He definitely keeps me hoppin'.

Well that's all the news I have time for! Hope everyone else is enjoying October.

I'm doing better today.  When I got back from the library yesterday I had a good cry, Chad gave me some comforting words, and the world was right again. I'm so glad it's the weekend. I was able to get out for a little while again this afternooon since Chad is home, and now my laptop is working at Starbucks! So I get a little longer online here than at the library.

I'm not sure what happens but it seems I always have some sort of mental crisis in the third trimester, and when I am newly postpartum. I start questioning everything and wondering if I'm doing enough, or if I should be doing something completely different with my life. Like go back to school, or get a job, or all of the other things that have gone unfinished in my life. Which is so ridiculous, especially at this point in life when I am about to have a new baby, or do have a new baby. Chad gets used to me crying on a weekly basis, when I usually don't cry at all. I'm sure it's just a temporary break in sanity because I always regain myself and realize that being at home with my children is what I should be doing, and what God wants me to be doing. It's what I've always wanted to do. But sometimes it's hard not to question things.

I watched a reality show this past week called "Raising Sextuplets". It follows a family where the parents are a young-ish couple with 18 month old sextuplets. The mom is very glamourous and went back to school right after the babies were born. She got her nursing degree (something I haven't been able to do in 8 years of trying on and off, having only one baby at a time........) and she now works full time as a nurse. Did I mention she also has 18 month old sextuplets? She also runs marathons and instead of sleeping when she gets off from working the night shift, she goes running with her friend. Did I mention she also has sextuplets? She laughs and says that she can sleep when she's 100. And she has time to dye her hair and blow dry it each day, and put on make-up? Oh, she also has a really laidback attitude and laughs or smiles all the time.

This is them:

Hmmm. Probably not the best show for me to be watching right now. But I admit I was fascinated. Of course I immediately compared myself to her and wondered why (and how) she's able to accomplish all she does and at the very least fake a good attitude through it all. I was flabbergasted. How do the simple logistics of going back to school with newborn sextuplets even work out? How does someone do that? And then to work full time and take care of six babies and run marathons and keep up with a marriage.......surely something has got to give, right?

I don't know. It's easy to feel insecure when you compare yourself to other people. People often ask me how I "do it", meaning homeschooling and having more than 2 or 3 children, I guess. But then I see a show like that and realize what a wimp I really am.  I would be a basketcase trying to keep up with what that woman does. It makes me feel very insecure to know that all of that is even humanly possible. What excuse do I have for not accomplishing more?

See what I mean about the third trimester mental crisis?

However, I did notice there were some very distinct differences between her life and mine though. She didn't have her children until she was in her early 30's, as opposed to being 19 like I was. So I'm guessing she had time to accomplish some of her life goals regarding school and work before then. She also has family around that is constantly involved and volunteering to help with the children. I'd imagine that would make a difference in the freedom and capabilities a mother would have, but I wouldn't know from experience.  Since we are spread out from family because this is where God has each of us, there is no one to watch our children, so it is logistically impossible for me to leave them and go to school, or go anywhere for that matter. It's taken 4 years just to find a decent babysitter that I trust to watch my children. A pregnancy carrying 6 babies at once has got to be extremely taxxing on a woman. But I know from experience that multiple pregnancies and multiple births and multiple recoveries are also very hard on a woman. I'm almost positive my pelvic bones would shatter into a million tiny shards if I so much as jog, let alone run marathons, LOL! That's how it feels at this point anyway.  Her marriage may be able to withstand both partners working fulltime jobs and caring for 6 babies, but I'm not sure every marriage could withstand that.

Those are the big differences I have noticed. I hope that didn't seem like I was complaining, I wouldn't want anything in my life to be different than the way it is right now, truly. I love that I started having my children at a younger age, I love being a mother to soon-to-be 5 children, I love where we live, and I love the way our life is structured. I'm not sure why I'm going on and on about all of this. I guess that show really made an impression on me, and it's been on my mind a lot this past week. I've been searching for God's guidance on why different people are able to accomplish such different things. I'm realizing that each of our lives, and abilities, and resources are so very different. That gives me more compassion for other people, and for myself.

As I'm writing this all out, I'm realizing what a waste it is to ever compare my life to someone else's. Why care about the details of what someone else is able to accomplish? Does any of it matter in light of eternity, since we're all headed to the same place anyway? I'm beginning to realize that the important thing is being content with what God has given me, and He has surely given me more than enough, more than I deserve. I am so thankful.

I only have 5 more minutes on my reservation here on the library computer. They give you 30 minutes at a time. How I miss the days when I could do what I needed to do online without time limits, but this is the way things are for now, and it's better for the family so it's okay. I do get very annoyed with it at times though.

Things have been pretty chaotic. I'm working hard with Audri to get the schoolwork done that we need to so we can start on our "baby break" at the end of October. Of course I set all of our own goals for the work we need to do, and I have it divided up really well, I just hope we're able to get everything done that we need to before baby comes.

Eli has really been acting up, or maybe I'm just noticing it more. My tolerance level seems to have taken a nosedive since I entered the third trimester. He screams and demands things all day. It's really tough and I'm having a hard time coping. Hopefully the woman who can help is able to start coming more now that she's phasing out of her other job.

Please just pray for us. This life is wonderful, but it's really kicking my butt right now.