Kids Say the Funniest Things

Mar. 28, 2009 - New Blog

Well, I have finally made the switch to blogger.  Our new blog is HERE

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Jan. 13, 2009 - Slave Labor

This post is dedicated to my husband's deranged sense of humor. 

I am always, always, always looking for new ways to keep us organized.  I remember when we first moved into this house I thought that there was no way that we could ever fill it up.  Well, we have, and we are overflowing...hence, my need to simplify and organize is never satisfied.  My latest quest has been the kid's closets.  We tackled those this weekend and came up with the idea of getting out a week's worth of clothing at a time.  Now, I'm also cheap and don't want to spend money where I don't have to, so we decided to make this storage thing ourselves.  Since, we aren't overly creative, we used an old bookcase and paper.  Works great.  Here it is...



This one is for the girls, and to help with the words, Ben added pictures.  We actually tried to add a picture of what we were doing that day.  Sunday - church, Friday - Co-op, etc...Take a look at Saturday...it's our work day...


Hilarious.  Funny thing, I don't think they argued too much about the correctness of the picture...As a matter of fact, when Q saw it, he said, "Yeah, we're just your little slaves." 

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Jan. 13, 2009 - Entrepreneurial Humans

This past weekend the kids found some rocks that had been buried in our backyard for some time.  They cleaned them up, polished them, and then set about making a small business for themselves.  They set up their rock shop on our front lawn with their "Crystals for Sale" sign and then commenced waiting.




After a while of not having any actual paying customers, Ben went outside and purchased a great set of "crystals" that now decorate my dresser.  S was in my room when Ben brought them to me and we asked her if she wanted to go outside to buy one for herself.  We even gave her a nickel to do it.  She said, "I can't go outside without a, a........a......(searching for the word inserted here).......a........a tall human."   

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Nov. 1, 2008 - Halloween HumBug


This picture really does say it all about Halloween doesn't it?  However, check out the latest movie in the sidebar and you will see me being a "Bah-Humbug". 

Later on that night H said, "no mama, this is a goodmare."  Yep.  Then Q replied, "a kid's best goodmare."  Well...99.7% of that candy is still around...so I guess that is a kid's best goodmare!

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Oct. 30, 2008 - Mealtime Fun

We were eating breakfast the other day when H looks and me and says, “I have ham in my body.”   ???  She continues…”no really, N said that I have meat in my body.”  Why ham is all I can wonder.

Speaking of body, around the same breakfast time, S informs me that “God lives in my belly.” She told me again tonight that God lives in my body.  Talk about a new spin on Jesus living in your heart.

During dinner last night Q asked for another pancake.  I could have leaned over and handed it to him except for the very large beach ball in my lap, so I flipped it to him,,,across his brother.  It hit the edge of the table and fell to the floor.  All he said was “Well,,,that didn’t work.”

Finally, (though not actually mealtime for us), we were finishing up our woods study in science and were reading about owls.  I told the kids how owls swallow their prey whole when N says to me “Man, that must not have ANY flavor.  I swallowed A LOT of raisins yesterday and they didn’t have any flavor.”  I wonder if the mice know they are dying in vain?

To add to this mealtime enjoyment, here are some pictures of the kids dissecting owl pellets.    


Q unwrapping his pellet.


N finding skulls of mice.


S wanted a paper to do the project, but once she saw what was going on she said "That's gross to me."   Hey, at least she used her pronoun correctly!

I didn't have any stills of H's work, but I added the video in the sidebar.  I accidentally cut it off too early as right after it stops she said "This is Scientist Harper signing off, have a good day."

It was a good day.

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Oct. 29, 2008 - A Day in the Life of a Seven Year Old

You know, when we first started homeschooling I used to check out homeschooling magazines from the library.  I figured I needed to learn as much as I could, (Still do), and loved reading them. (Still do!)  However, my favorite articles were not the ones that talked about teaching methods or curriculums, but rather, the real nitty gritty, “this is how my day goes”, articles.  You know the ones.  The ones where the perfect family of four neatly dressed children ages 2, 4, 6, and 8 are sitting contentedly around the table, smiling during Bible time.  Those.

Well…I’ve decided to record one of our days.  Straight from the mind and mouth of my seven year old.  I didn’t make anything up and if you would like a picture of our entire day, just multiply these experiences times 4 with various moods and temperaments thrown in for fun.  Enjoy. 

Said day begins:
Upon waking:  “What’s for breakfast?  No, I don’t like that, can I have toast?  What?  What’s a short order cook?  Fine, I’m not eating.”  “Is the coffee done yet?”
   
After finally choking down breakfast:  School Begins

Bible Time:  Read Judges 7 – Stated that “the Bible is cool, it has action and man is it gory”        

Science:  drew this…while humming…



Switched over laundry.       

Reading:  Read aloud Adventures in Sound…while humming…
 
History:  Asked me “if Pedro Menendez was going to hell for killing all the Frenchmen.”  (Which, by the way was a nice time for me to once again explain the Gospel)   

We also watched a video on St. Augustine in which he asked me “if the bellows used in the forge were the same as in Gulliver’s Travels, on the dog?”…my my my…too much to explain there, all I can say is read it, it’s interesting, sorta.
   
Lunch:  Ate exactly one teaspoon of soup with 15 crackers and called it good.
   
Switched over Laundry, while spinning on the ground like a breakdancer and whistling.

Playtime:  Pestered one sister.  Pestered the other.  Looked awfully sweet while giving his mama a kiss.  Put several puzzles together.  Stated that “it is too cold to go outside.”  (It was 65 degrees)  Made a funny face at his brother.  Built a domino line, while whistling.  Knocked down his brother’s line first, then his.  Ran away.  Found the dress up stuff.  Pulled it all out.  Found what he wanted.  Walked away in said costume.  Brought his mama a glass of water while sliding across the kitchen floor.  Climbed up on the furniture and jumped off. 

Switched over Laundry.  Asked “is this the last time?”

Schoolwork resumes:
   
Progeny Press:  Asked “if we lived back then, would we have helped the slaves escape or what?”  Good character question or what?

Handwriting:  Loves cursive and proceeds to make pictures out of the words.  Like this…



Math:  Manages to finish math, but not without more interesting artwork…Like this…


(I thought the reference to math being as hard a rock pretty clever actually)

More artwork from today's math...


Yet more...


(He said, "it's a flower child"...I don't know what to think about that...)
Anyway... he decides to be a conductor while listening to Beethoven and drawing above artwork.  Still math time.  States that he “can’t find my math test book.  I’ve looked everywhere.”

Spelling:  Did SpellingPower.  Missed:  water, better, teacher, giraffe                   
Wrote this as his final sentence for the day, while humming.  “I have a teacher that is not a person, but a giraffe that has bad teeth and drinks water better than I do.”  Honestly.

Switched over Laundry, dropped it to the floor in exhaustion.  Perked right up when it was stated that free time was coming.

Was sent to feed the dog.  Looked for the armadillo.  Looked at the giant dirt piles in the backyard.  Decided he was cold and came back in.  Was sent back out to feed the dog.

It was here that I realized that he was dressed like this:


Free Time:  Many many many more times spinning on the floor.  Opened the garage, spent time riding his bike.  Made a ramp in the driveway.  Tried to get up it belly down on the skateboard.  Came back in.  Pestered his sister.  Hugged his mama.  Wrestled with his brother.  Cried.  Kept wrestling anyway.  Found his math test book that was “lost” during math time.  Listened during lecture on keeping things put away…sortof.  Leap frogged his sister on the way back to the living room.  Grinned. 

Switched over the laundry and asked “Seriously, mama, is this the last time?”

Dinner:  Asked “What’s for dinner?  What’s in that?  Oh.”  Helped get something from the top shelf of the pantry.  By climbing.  Broke apart chips during dinner and pretended that they were rocket ships going up, then coming down in his mouth.  Discussed elusive armadillo during dinner.  Discussed frying it.  (We are reading My Side of the Mountain)



After Dinner:  Galloped to and from the table while clearing the dishes.  Spent time with Daddy making “really cool” domino lines.  Played outside.  Looked again for the armadillo.  Braved looking under the shed.  Came back in.  Spun in a circle with a pillow, said it was a new game called “Hurricane”.  Scared his sisters by telling them that armadillos spread diseases.  Grinned.  Picked up dominoes while pretending that there were dangerous gases coming from the domino box.  After he was finished he stated “level complete”.  Put on a birthday party for his stuffed dog, Scooter.  Wrapped and presented his present, while humming. Played spies with his siblings.  Never once this evening was he without his trusty pistol stuck in his belt. 

At this point in the evening I crashed.  It was about 8 and by the time I woke up at 9 the kids were all in bed, thanks to their daddy!  This was definitely not a perfect day, but I don’t think I’ve ever had one of those. 

It was a good day for me.  I pray it was for him as well. 

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Oct. 25, 2008 - Kite Fest

A few weekends ago we took the kids to the annual kite fest here in Tulsa.  We had a great time helping the kids make and fly their own kites.  The music was a bit too loud, as we were right by the speakers, but the day was gorgeous!


Q and H in the first stages of the kite building process...coloring their kites.


N and S doing the same. 


H, very proud of her almost finished kite!


S, getting ready to try hers out for the first time.


Here's how her first attempt turned out.  :(


Daddy to the rescue!


Finally, success!



The boys trying theirs out.  The sky was full of kites!



What a treat!

It was a very nice afternoon!

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Oct. 21, 2008 - The Big 33

Years ago my sweet husband wrote this poem for me and I thought that I might post it today on his birthday.  I found it the other day in my Bible and I remembered why I had put it there,,,to be reminded that I am blessed and should be thankful!  Enjoy…

    Life happens everyday and why would we want it any other way?
    So much to do, so little time, printers break, children whine.
    Who will save me from this mess that I’m in?  I don’t even know where to begin.
    What, Lord, is the meaning of it all?  Babies are much cuter before they can crawl.
    Kids are like night and day, you never know what they will say.
    “You’re pretty as a moose”, “I’ve got a loose tooth”
    “Can I have some more butter?”, “Is that thing an udder?”
    How can one person ever endure, when the only time you can be sure
    That the house is semi-safe in keeping, is when all of the children are sleeping!!
    They argue and fight and they knock out the lights,
    They tear up their toys, make all sorts of noise.
    In moments so rare, they’re kind and they share
    And you can’t help but implore, “Don’t you want more?”

When I found it, I couldn’t help but laugh.  Thanks for the memories Ben!  Happy Birthday!  I love you.

This was his surprise breakfast.  N made him that little breakfast table and everyone made him cards with smarties attached!



The girls were quite happy with themselves for tricking Daddy into thinking that he was coming home to kill a HUGE spider for us, only to find a surprise breakfast.

We have a birthday tradition of decorating the living and dining room with streamers for birthday breakfasts, and this was S's contribution.  She wanted to make sure that even the floor was "pretty".  The streamers are actually taped down.  I'm sure I will be finding tape for at least a month!

What a good morning...

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Oct. 20, 2008 - Update

I’ve been meaning to blog for ages…so here I go…some things I don’t want to forget…

S has trouble with pronouns.  Not that we are explaining what they are to her, or anything like that, but she literally uses them incorrectly…….all the time.  Where us going mama?  Me going to the store mama?  That’s for we isn’t it mama….and so on…Well a while ago we were having donuts as a treat on a Saturday morning and she was told that she had to wash her hands and then come get her donut.  She did just that, but as she ran to the table, she yelled out “Here me come donut”.  We’ve laughed about that for a few weeks now! 


Yesterday we went letterboxing at a state park near our home.  There were 6 letterboxes on quite a long stretch of fitness trail.  After we had been there for awhile H started to get tired.  Then, she started to whine, and boy does she know how to do that.  “Mama, my legs hurt sooooooooo bad,,,,I mean it they are burnnnnniiinnnnggg.  How much farther, when are we gonna be back at the car, I’m soooooooo tired.”  At that moment we saw one of the fitness stations (pull up bars and such) that the kids had been enjoying all afternoon.  This one happened to be monkey bars, which are her favorite.  I have never in my life seen such an immediate change in disposition.  The whines instantly turned to squeals of delight and those tired worn out legs had just enough juice left in them to sprint the 30 feet to the bars and then commence jumping up and down in anticipation waiting for Daddy to lift her.  Amazing!


Q sure likes his morning coffee.  Now, to explain, he gets exactly ½ cup of Half Café with milk and creamer.  Everymorning.  He comes down the stairs groggy eyed staring at the coffee pot asking when it will be finished.  I find this funny in and of itself, but the other day, he had a really rough day discipline wise and was just plain crabby.  I suggested that maybe it was the caffeine and then went on with the day.  The next morning as he’s staring at the pot he says “only a half cup today mama, I don’t want to be cranky.”   Smart boy.


N is getting so very big.  He will be double digits next year.  That blows my mind.  He was just born.  I know he was.  Seems like yesterday he was sprawled out on the floor, surrounded by baby toys, chewing on a green rat name BOVE.  Man, those were the days.  Now he has to help his mama get from one room to the next when my back feels like jello.  Thing is, he’s actually a help.  I think the kid is stronger than me. He opens jars that I can’t.  Ok, I must stop now, I’m 33 weeks pregnant and I feel like I’m writing a Hallmark commercial.

I’ll post more tomorrow when my hormones have settled a bit and I’ve mopped up the tears.

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Mar. 7, 2008 - The Good Humor Man

Last week Q asked me for a bowl of ice cream.  Simple enough.  Then, he added, “Can you make it a really big, big bowl?”  I looked at that cute little face, weighed my consequences, and decided to humor him.  So, I said, “You’re Quinn, I’ll humor you.”  (yet another Princess Bride reference around here)

A few days pass and the kids again asked for ice cream.  I said sure, and as I was busy doing something, I said “dish it up yourselves”.  As they are doing so, I overheard Q say “I’m going to humor myself.”  I found it funny.

Finally last night the boys asked for ice cream and as it is almost gone I said “sure”.  Once again Q said “I’m going to humor myself again, I really am.  I’m going to humor myself…….a lot.”  It may be terribly wrong to find it funny because there are quite possibly underlying greed issues here…but I couldn’t help myself.  I had to laugh. 

Talk about The Good Humor Man!

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