I feel like Im ready to just cash it in and send them back to school.  They wont listen, they have attitudes that this is just free time.  I don't know what else I have to do to make it happen. 

I will admit that I am unorganized but I sit and we wok everyday, to get almost no where.  Im so tired and feel like Im stressing beyond belief everyday anymore.  I almost want to just say forget it and lets go back to school.  I hate putting them back into the hands of the public school system but at least they gave them some respect and they did their work.  Here I have to fight and fight and fight.  Im seriously tired of it,.

It doesn't help at all that I am watching my step-daughters kids because they can't afford daycare.  I love the boys but its making things even more unorganized here and I just don't know what to do about it. 

I wish I had time and money to just take a vacation and get out of dodge for a while.  I feel like leaving and not coming back.  Isn't that horrible?  What a thing for a Mom to say. 

Things got so busy recently, and I will admit Im much better at the networking sites.  Which is kinda funny because I use to keep a journal all the time.  It was a way for me to get things out.  I don't know why I don't feel that is important now.  Maybe its because it gives me something else I need to do.

Things are going well.  I do really enjoy the choice that we made this year to go with a virtual accademy.

It has helped me to be more organized and it has helped at least two of my kids to be that way too.  I am concerned about Ryan.  He really struggled this last semester.  So much so that he is going to have to work at making things up.  I worry because he knows what he wants to do.  He wants to go to a Christian University in TX to be a youth pastor, which touches my heart! Im worried that he will give up on his goal because of a rough patch in the road.  I know that this is what the Lord has called him to do, I just think that the Lord is trying to strengthen him while its in the process.  I really want to support him and help him along this path.  I just know that he is made for this. 

Beckah is amazing, she loves her work and she is eager to do it.  She finishes with plenty of time, and it basically my little assitant.  She takes pride in her work, and I truly appreciate that.  Im glad that she has found a love for work and learning.  I never had it until I was much older.  She is well on her way to many good opportunities.

Raelynn is the youngest of the four children I had with my first husband, and she has the Im the youngest syndrome really bad.  She is eager to learn but wants me to do all the work for her.  I sttruggle a little bit with it.  This is the first time I have done elementary school age for homeschool.  So Im a bit green with it.  She seems to have a love for science, history and art.  She really would rather stay away from reading and writing and math.  Can't say as I blame her, but I really need to figure something out to make this something she enjoys.  Im just haveing trouble coming up with that.

All in all Im thrilled with our year so far and look forward to continuing!

Im so excited, we finally got snow.  Yeah Im the weirdo that loves winter and hates summer.  I love being cold and snuggling up under a blanket.  I love hot tea, chocholate, coffee and cider.  I love having chili and soup days.  I just love when its cold.  I love when it snows so much that you are stranded inside.  I love when you build a fire and sit down and read some verses in the bible together and have a wonderful bible study.  I love when we pop popcorn and watch a family movie together.  I also love doing school work under the covers and all grouped together.  Its so homey and so close.  I just love it!!

I can't believe that thanksgiving is in just 13 days, and I volunteered to have the dinner.  LOL I know I will be hitting my own forehead before its over. 
Because of this we have decided to take on the huge job of painting our living room.  Right now its a horrible army green.  We got permission a while ago from our landlord to paint, but we didn't think we would be here that much longer so we chose not to.  Well now we know we will be here another at least 17 months, and I would love to have a bright and cheerful living room.  So the kids and I are going to take next week and work around schooling to paint the living room.  I want to paint it a nice crisp cream color.  Then accent it with some burgandy area rugs and window treatments.  I think that will brighten it up very nicely.  It really needs it, its the darkest room in the house.  The windows face north and south so there is no direct sunlight, and it really needs all the help it can get!  I am thrilled to get started, and I believe the kids will enjoy it too. 

I will post before and after pics so everyone can see the huge difference there will be!

Blessings to all!!
Renee

I can not believe how busy I am!  I feel like I go from the min. I get up until I go to bed at night.   Working with Raelynn is a real blessing but she gets distracted so easily!  I would love it if I could just get her to focus on what she is suppose to be doing. 

Daniel is also a handful.  Its more like he is three instead of five.  He gets into everything.  His latest love is the washing machine.  He will not leave it alone.  And it doesn't seem to matter how severe the punishment is, its worth it.  He will get a good (affectionately using Kim's phrase) pow pow and cry then be right back in there like it didn't phase him.  I wish I had something that I could do to keep him from doing that.  Those of you that know me, know Im strict.  I don't just let things happen, I expect my kids to obey what their parents tell them.  This one however seems to go beyond strong willed.   He reminds me of a bussiness man that will pay whatever price it takes to get what he wants.  I really need to figure out how to break that.  Spanking isn't working, talking isn't working, taking things away isn't working, finding other things for him to do isn't working.   Short of putting him in a rubber room, Im not sure what eles to do. 

Most everyone knows how into baseball Ryan is and we devote our whole spring to it.  Well he has been in fall ball this year and we are devoting all of our time to that now.  Thinking oh yay I only have one more week to go, the kids wanted to join a homeschool bowling league.  With bowling being near and dear to my heart I just had to say yes.  So now on Wens. we are trucking across town to bowl.  They are loving it so far and its not just about one kid.  So they are all happy!  Well except for Daniel, he doesn't get to bowl and he really wants to.

So with all this said, I would love to have an extra hour or two a week just for me.  No kids, no husband, no bills, no somethings that need to be worked out, no housework, just me time. 

This is a paper that Beckah had to write.  I was so touched by it and I wanted to share it. 

Sorrow of a Loss

'Ring, ring, hello' said my dad it was my mom, 'can you bring the kids over I need to tell them something' said mom. Creek went the door as we walked in. 'Sit please' said mom silence then quickly Mom and Kevin saying you’re going to another sibling!!! 'Well what do you think'? 3 are happy but my 1 year younger brother says I think this one going to heaven too with hope and precious once again silence then Robbie how could you say that said Ryan my older brother .





It has been 5 months all is great. Then 'hey kids' we all came knowing something was bad with tear filled eyes my mom said that something is wrong. That something was wrong with the baby. My mom was heading for the hospital. Hour by hour I’m waiting trying to stay calm it seemed like my heart was beating 10 times faster. Ring, ring, I checked the caller id toll free I thought we have no time for this. Five minuets then ring, ring, its mom. Hello I said 'sorry kids your sister isn’t going to make it' that moment I burst into tears. The other kids asked me what Mom said and I said the worst.





I’ll call you back when I get more news. That day my sister was born and about 10 min later she was gone. Waiting for the call was like waiting for someone to punch you. Ring, ring, hello it’s Kevin “sorry kids you sister is dead”. After I heard this and the fact that my mom was in surgery I couldn’t think straight. I thought I might lose my mom, my sister, and my faith. I was tired sad and I missed my mom.





It’s been 3 days since we saw our mom. When my mom walked in we gave her cards, hugs, and kisses. She liked all her gifts but it still couldn’t compare to the daughter she lost. Weeks then months go by mom still hurts it was hard for her to get out of bed in the morning.





It’s been 8 months there is still sadness creeping in the house. My sisters name is Grace cause God gave us his grace. We still miss her but it doesn’t hurt With the burning in my heart like before. My sister taught me that God does every thing for a reason. I miss my sister but I know she is in a better place that no human can imagine.

Well I believe that we made the right decision.  Not only did I feel a peace about it after we prayed and made the decision, but it has gone so well.

Ryan is really into doing what he is suppose to do.  He is in there taking notes and doing all the things that he needs to do.  He is enjoying his online classes and is even getting involved in the chess and history clubs.

Beckah is doing well also.  We didn't get her materials until yesterday, but there were a few things that she could do.  Litterature was one.  She is reading The lion the Witch and the Wardrobe.  The online school has novels to pick from.  After you choose your novel it will generate questions that go along with the novel.  Its pretty cool.  She has also been able to do science, which she absolutly loves.  She is a science freak.  In the three years I have had her home, I knew that when I had something planned for science that there would be great participation.  Now she has almost all of her materials and is just loving it.  She has done art, and music.  She probably will not love the history as much, but I guess we all have subjects that we like better then others.

Raelynn is such a joy to have at home. She is so eager to learn and tries so very hard.  Im thrilled with how much she wants to do.  When we are done for the day she asks me if we can do more.  Its so sweet.  Im enjoying it so much.

So far this year we are off to a good start!!  We are so blessed!!

Its just a little less then a week before school starts for my two public school kids and my three online kids.  I have so much to do, Im going nuts. 
We haven't gotten all of the stuff for the online kids, so I am hoping that comes in the next few days, I don't want to be having to organize stuff while getting the kids started.  I have a few online meetings that I have to attend.  Which is fine, but it takes up time too.  I know it sounds like Im complaining, Im not, Im just rushed.

The public schools kids are completly different.  Robbie's school, which I really don't like, is unorganized.  He will be a returning student.  They should have all his stuff on file.  I went to register him today.  They have no directions set out.  No go to this table first then this one then this one.  Nothing.  I stood in line for almost an hour before I was told I was in the wrong line.  So I stood in the right line to get up to the counter.  There she asks me if I have filled out my paper work.  I said what paper work.  She just kinda sighs loudly, so I said, Ma'am Im more then happy to do what needs to be done, but there is no direction at all.  She says thats ok your in the right place.  Hands me the paper work, then says but we are closing down now, you can come back later or tomorrow.  So I kept Christ in me and I left quietly.  All the while wanting to scream that I had already been there for 1 1/2 hours and I didn't want to come back in a few hours or tomorrow.  But I will just go back tomorrow.
Then I go to Daniel's new school.  He is legally blind and was placed specially at this school.  All I did was say his name, and they took over.  I had to fill a couple of things out and I was out of there in 10 min.
Makes no sense to me how two schools in the same district can be so completly different.

Anyway, besides the jerk construction workers across the street, I think I will just relax until my meeting in an hour and then take the rest of the evening to myself!!

Blessings to all!!

I know I was so undecided about a few things.  LIke Ryan and what to get him, and whether or not I wanted to homeschool Raelynn.

Well both have been decided.

I look around at all the creative things that you girls do, and I have realized that I don't have the creative gift to create projects like ya'll do.  ITs just not in me.  I was worried that homeschool was just get to it and get it done.  So I decided to try and take some of that pressure of myself.

My friend homeschools her kids but she uses a virtual academy to do it.  So you are still the kids teacher but they choose all of it, they have a teacher for back up and there is stuff that is planned.  So I looked into it, and I like it.  They design the corses around what the child needs instead of what grade they are in.  Raelynn has trouble with reading, so they have designed her language arts around where she is at, not where she should be.  And coming out of a public school, you know that is what she was getting there.  "Mrs. Tillitz this is where Raelynn should be, and we need to do..this....this. and that to get her up to where she should be."  This was comforting because it just took what she knows and how she tested and they have designed her work on that.  Im thrilled.  THey have music appreciation and art and physical education.  Which I guess is up to me.  But Im thrilled with the music and art. 

The girls have been approved and I am just waiting for the high school side to call me and arrange what we are going to do for Ryan.  But I will say that Im thrilled and ready for it.  I even have some teacher assignments that I have to do.   Oh and one of the biggest things for Ryan is they have college counselors there that will help him with all he needs to get into a college, and to get schollarships.  He really wants to go to SAGU (souther assemblies of God Univeristy) For Youth ministerial studies and Education.  Im thrilled that my son knows and hasn't changed in 2 years what he wants to do.  He wants to be a youth pastor with educaiton as his backup.  Im so very proud of him!!

One would think that after 17 years as a parent that I would have already tried this.  But no I haven't and Im sure that some people will be shocked.

I have always expected that when I say to do something that the kids will do it.  Well I guess we all hope for something that we don't always get!  One area I have always struggled with my kids, is taking care of the chores when I say to do them.  Usually it will eventually happen, but not in the time I am hoping for.  That and they argue about who was suppose to do something, why they have to be the one to do it, and plain, "I didn't know it was my turn."  So I decided that the first day of summer break was going to include a schedule, instead of sleep until I want, watch as much tv as I can, do only what I really want to do, I have made a chart.  My chart has all the chores that need to be done, and all the kids names on this chart.  We sat down and we talked about each chore and who wanted to do what.  Some of the things they were more then happy to do, some things I had to assign.  But I will say its working.  They know that the tv does not get to be turned on until the chores are done.  No Wii, no games on the computer, no spongebob, discovery channel, no history channel, no nothing with a screen untill its all done.  That mean everyone.  If Beckah gets done but the rest haven't, then there is still no screen.  If everyone but Raelynn is done, too bad, you have to wait.  That way they can either chip in and help their sibs, or they can have free time to do something creative or to read.  Of course the creativity is winning so far, but Im sure that when they get a want to play that Wii that they will start chipping in. 

I wish I would have thought of this years ago.  I guess I was always just skeptical.  I thought that it just looked good, not that it would work.  But either way I will continue and see what happens.  So stay tuned!!!

God Bless!!

Renee
Renee tillitz

Well I got the news.  The economic stimulus checks for turbox tax people are being mailed instead of direct deposited.  So instead of getting our check last week, it will be mailed out at the end of June.  SOOOOOO that means that I am not going to be able to buy all of the curriculum that I wanted to. So I am going to be buying it subject by subject unless I can find somewhere that I can get it for cheap.  So if anyone has any suggestions Im very open to them.  Othewise I will be buying and doing one subject at a time.  Which I guess isn't the end of the world, but I don't like doing it that way.  Help?? lol

So the summer is quickly upon us and I am trying to decide just what I want to do this summer.  Should we take a couple weeks at the begining of the summer and then work on through, should we just start working and then take time off around camp time.  I am just not so sure.  I am going to have to do some praying to try and figure it out.

I have to buy Ryan his cirruculum.  Beckah is going strong on hers and doing well.  But Ryan has been done for a while.  I am not sure what I want to do.  I could go through where I have been getting it, but Im not happy with the Saxxon math.  And it comes in the kit.  I also am thinking about getting him some electives.  He is really intrested in that.  I know that I can get that from life pac and from SOS.  Being he is in his last poke of high school I don't want to switch things up too much on him.  He is saying that he would be happy with either life pac or with SOS.  So I will look into both and see what the electives are. 

Im seriously thinking of what to do with Raelynn next year.  She has been asking me to homeschool her for most of this last semester in school.  There doesn't seem to be a reason either.  She isn't struggling with anything new, she is doing well with her friends, she isn't having issues with the teachers.  I am just thinking that she wants the close knittness (did I make that word up?) of homescooling.  Which of course I am all for.  It would just be new for me to take on elementary school.  We have always done middle school and above.  I guess maybe I am doubting myself.  What if I screw her up?  What if where she does struggle I make it worse? 

THen I have the big decission about Daniel.  I am pretty sure that I am sending him for Kindergarten to school next year.  I want to see how he does with the new setting and a more academic based learning.  Right now he is doing play based learning.  We applied for a scholarship to get Daniel a CCTV (closed circut tv) for the home.  It maginfies everything that you put under it, and then you decide how big, if you want it in true color or in a high contrast color.  It will be what he primarly uses in the classroom at school.  I guess I can't help but feel like if he can do it at school with that, then he can do it at home with the same thing.  But I want to see for myself what they are doing with him and if there is really anything all that different that he will need the special services for.

So many decissions!  I wish that somehow they were already made and we were on our way with making them happen.  But I know what I really need to do is spend some quality time with God and then act on what He is telling us to do. 

It would be amazing to have all but one of the kids here working on a day by day basis.

HI Girls!! I have gotten a couple of comments from those of you that I know.  I will say I have no idea how to respond to those comments.  So maybe someone could help me.  I would love to change my layout too, I have noticed that some of you have really nice layouts.  So to answer everyone that commented...Thanks!  Also I am doing ok.  Kinda stuck in a depression, but I have started counseling and am trying to work through all of that.  Slow going though.  Things just haven't been the same since Grace was born so early and didn't make it.  I keep trying to find the Joy in things, and I do.  Mostly in my children, but the ever present "this is where I should be" still looms over my head.  Seems like the blooming of flowers and grass coming up would make anyone thrilled that the dead of winter is over, but it just seems to remind me of the loss that I had.  So much different then the miscarriages. I just have no idea how to explain it because 4 months ago I was on the same side of the fence that you guys are on and I could have never comprehended what this is like.

Schooling is good, some days is better then others.  I tend to have kids that either want to go for it and do it all right now, or want to do nothing.  That is something that we are working on.  Beckah does really well when she wants to.  Which is most of the time, but there are those times that she trys to think of everything under the sun to not work.  My calm and put together 13 year old turns into a 4 year old that whines to get what she wants.  Ryan on the other hand will seem like he isn't doing anything but then all of a sudden its done and done well.  He amazes me.  Of course there are times that he would rather do the teenage thing and sleep. 

I am the type that schools all year.  I know that a lot of people look forward to their breaks, but when my kids were younger and in elementary school we were on track schools.  This many weeks on with 3 or 4 weeks off.  They seemed to do the best when they are learning this way.  Here at home too.  I tried to do like a traditional school year, but they seems to flourish with the year round.  So that is what we are sticking with.  Probably taking a short break in May but continuing through out the summer with studies.  Ryan is getting excited to be coming to a close of his mandatory schooling, and then moving on to what his heart truly desires.  He wants so badly to just study the Word, to just loose himself in it at all times.  He will do bible subject after bible subject if I let him.  Of course I would love to let him just do that.  He know so much about math and science and geography, but I know that I am required to get those other things in as well.  Shoot the school district wont even consider his bible studies anything but free reading.  Or I guess I am assuming that, but considering what all they have taken out of the schools, I can't see how that wouldn't be true.

I myself am continuing on with my education.  I am currently enrolled at the Hadley School for the Blind.  I am taking a contracted braille course right now, which I will promptly follow up with the nemeth code.  Then I will look into the classes to become a braillest.  Possibly even at some point going for my master to become a Teacher of the Visualy Impaired (TVI).  Its hard though since I support homeschooling so much, but then again, our schools need people that believe in God and will bring a Christ like behavior to the children. 

OH I have another blog.  This one I have been able to figure things out.  Here is the link http://bornagainrenee.blogspot.com/  Come and visit, this will be on a more personal level then the homeschooling blog will be. 

Blessings to you all!!

I have always been a journal type of person.  Usually its about my life or my tawg, but I have been looking at others homeschooling blogs.  I have to say that I didn't do this at first because I go about things in a different way.  My kids that homeschool are high school and middle school level. 

I started homeschooling when my oldest son, Ryan, was going into high school and he was proving to be a follower instead of a leader.  I knew that with the things out there that being a follower was not going to be a good thing for him.  So I decided to homeschool him.  He fought me a little and complained about it, but now that he is a junior and is doing really well, I think he is happy with it.  He is on a homeschool baseball team that just got back from TX in a homeschool world series tournament.  His team is playing against regular high school teams, and they are winning.  Which of course the whole team gives all that glory to the Lord, and that is what the coaches teach them to do.  He also recently has decided what he wants to do when highschool is behind him.  He wants to go to a nearby christian college and train to be a youth pastor.  We have already talked to our pastor's at church and they have agreed to mentor him, and help him.  He is showing me on a daily basis that he is no longer a follower, he is a leader.  He has taken the boys of the youth group at church under his wing.  He has also taken the JV team under his wing.  Im so amazed at what the Lord can do.  Where I use to worry deeply about my son, now I see a young man that is going to serve God and the youth. 

My oldest daughter, Beckah, is now in 7th grade.  She asked me to homeschool her at the begining of her 6th grade year.  Which I was more then happy to do.  She is an amazing young lady, and she brings so much imagination to her work.  She has a heart for children, and loves to help at church in the nursery and the preschool room.  She loves to learn and is so excited to start new things.  I am just amazed at what she is already and can't even fathom what she will become.

My other children are in the public school system.  Robbie is in the 6th grade, but in a multi intensive class.  Robbie has Prader-Willi syndrome and functions well below his grade level.  Because of this, I don't feel like I am equipt to homeschool him. 

Raelynn is in the 2nd grade, and is happy and pretty much doing well where she is.  However she has started asking me to homeschool her, and I am considering it.  It would be a new venture for me to homeschool an elementary school child, but I am up for it.

Daniel will be starting Kindergarten this year, but because he is legally blind, I am not comfortable with trying to teach him.  However we might be recieving a scholarship for a special magnifying device for him, and if it goes well and we get it, when its time for 1st grade I may consider homeschooling for him.

So that is where we are at right now.  Trying to make choices for next year.  I like what Beckah is doing, but I also am intrested in something one of my friends told me about.  So I have some praying to do, and some research.