Several years ago, before my children could even truly read, I trained the oldest two in this regime: "Go get four books, find a spot on a couch or chair, and read until I tell you otherwise! The key to this training was practice and firm convictions. If I say go get four books, you are not in compliance until you have four books. If I say separate couches, you can't all be on the same couch. If I say read until I tell you otherwise, and you get up after you finish 1 book; you are not in compliance. Since my children actually like to look through books; this was not a difficult training period frought with lots of strife. It took only a few weeks, and involved only one or two instances of punishment. The rewards have been immense!
First, the subsequent children have been trained by observation. When Momma says go get a book; we get to sit on the couch and read! It looks so fun; and pretty soon the two year old is joining right in. Whenever possible, one or both parents join in as well!
Second, when Mom and Dad need a few uninterrupted moments while they fix supper; the children have a controlled activity which they actually enjoy to keep them occupied. Since they are well trained in this activity, there is very little conflict. What typically happens in our home is this. Daddy has just arrived home from work and is helping Mommy get supper. While they work, Mom and Dad are also debriefing each other about the day. The children, who are super excited to have Daddy home and also anxious for supper, are all gathered at the kitchen table, talking to each other excitedly as they wait for attention and food. In response to Daddy's naturally loud voice, they start getting louder and louder. Which causes Mom and Dad to get louder and louder. Finally, Mom or Dad says, "All right, we aren't ready to have you at the table yet, why don't you all go get some books and find a couch." Since we have a fairly open floor plan, this works really well. If your couches are in Timbuctoo, you might have the children bring their books back to the table! Without interruption, supper is on the table within a few minutes, and children have time to share with Dad about their day -- getting both the food and the attention they need and desire!
Third, it is a discipline (doing what you need to do whether you want to or not) which can come in response to rowdy children, bickering, or other aggravation -- yet it is not a punishment. It is an enjoyable moment of down-time.
A few days ago I sent the children for their books and couches (no specifications), and upon making sure they were in compliance, found this:
What a joy to find them all together on one couch with no bickering!
That is so inspiring! I would love to develop that habit. Even though I have one really good reader, I've always wanted a reg. reading time w/o interruptions. I can really see how my almost-reader would benefit as well! Thanks for sharing. I'm enjoying your posts!
Blessings,
Melissa
http://livinglifebetweenthetrees.blogspot.com
Amy, I do that too and it works wonderfully. I also have lego time, but that's only in the evenings after my toddler goes to bed. That works wonderfully as well (sometimes for an hour or two!). I was wondering, do you have any other suggestions for "controlled activities". I would love to hear any other ideas or suggestions you implement. Also, my three are all boys! =)
Amy, what a joy it must have been to see them sitting there! I was wondering how you handled disciplining them when they were younger and got up? I have a 2 year old that loves to have a meltdown at the slightest thing. I know that when I sit down to read with them it helps, but otherwise, she's up.
Dear Anonymous; I should clarify that I don't actually "train" or discipline my two year olds in any way for this reading time. They learn to join reading time on the couch naturally, out of a love for reading and wanting to be included in everything the big kids do. Usually, once a child reaches 4, they rebel against the idea of sitting and reading for a few days; but quickly realize this is not something Mom is going to budge on, and that it is more fun to sit and read on the couch then sit on a kitchen chair in the middle of the kitchen with no book or toy! I never insist that my two year old joins in; and in fact usually he stays in the kitchen underfoot or sits at the table and colors, or continues to play with his toys in whatever room I am in. Sorry for that confusion. Amy B
The bottom line is; We try not to insist on parent-led learning or gravitate toward child-led learning. We try instead to focus on God-led learning and ask for His input and perspective on every aspect of our home school. That way, when others fuss about what Dan and I are doing and make me second guess our decisions -- I can go back to our decision process and find God's fingerprints, reminding me that this is His way.
