This issue has been in my home and on my heart lately. I have had too many conversations about laziness, and being motivated with some of my boys.
I have noticed, however, that what I thought was laziness was really just fear. Fear of failure. Their "laziness" was primarily in topics that they naturally do not excell at. It makes sense really - none of us want to do what we know we aren't good at or don't fully understand. You couldn't make me do a chapter of calculus for $100! I hate to do higher math so it would take a lot to motivate me - a lot more than a hundred dollars!
So, I am trying to figure out how I can motivate them in those topics which they just aren't naturally good at. Then I listened to Andrew Pudewa's talk entitled "Teaching Boys and Other Children Who Would Rather Build Forts All Day". I have listened to this a few times before but this time I must have really been listening because he addressed this topic of laziness and how he believes there are no lazy children. Here is a very small excerpt:
3 truths of motivating children children like to do what they CAN do
children WANT to do what they THINK they can do
children hate to do what they cannot or think they cannot do The reason they don’t want to do it is because they think they can’t - or they can’t
So he offers this advice: "If you can structure your environment so that 80 percent of the time your kids are doing what they can do – just getting better at that
and 20 percent of the time having them do what they THINK they can do – and giving them enough help to succeed
and 0 percent of the time having them do what they think they can’t do (or can’t do) you would have a 100 percent all the time motivated child."
He says he does not believe in lazy children."If you removed electricity from their life you’d never have a lazy child because they’re naturally very industrious." (This is certainly true!)
He does believe that you get the appearance of a lazy child when they use it as a defense mechanism against having to do something they believe they cannot do well, or cannot do at all.They will argue, or tantrum, or lazy their way out of it.
I needed this more than anything when I started home schooling, and I need it more NOW because I didn't have it when I started home schooling!
I can't thank you enough for sharing this! It was just what I needed for a little kick in the...ummmm...when it comes to my seeming failures in schooling this year!
*sigh*
I want to just curl up in fetal position, but I know the actual solution is to restructure what we're doing!
There is a lot of truth to what Pudewa says there. I have the cd too. I like the IEW stuff.
I see my son becoming so affected by an imagined brick wall that he actually makes it a brick wall. He breaks down.
It is a frustrating thing to witness. It is all in his mind.
We are a homeschooling family raising 4 boys in Virginia. This blog is mostly about anything relevant to raising boys or homeschooling in general - but every once in a while I can't help but add some nonsense from our daily life.
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Feb. 25, 2008 - Oh, my!
I needed this more than anything when I started home schooling, and I need it more NOW because I didn't have it when I started home schooling!
I can't thank you enough for sharing this! It was just what I needed for a little kick in the...ummmm...when it comes to my seeming failures in schooling this year!
*sigh*
I want to just curl up in fetal position, but I know the actual solution is to restructure what we're doing!
Thank you so much!