Ways to Maintain A Healthy Level

Of Insanity

1.

 At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car

With Sunglasses on and point a Hair

Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow

Down.

2.

Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't

Disguise Your Voice.

3.

Every Time Someone Asks You To Do

Something, Ask If They Want Fries with

that.

4.

Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And

Label It "In."

5.

Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3

Weeks Once Everyone has Gotten Over

Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to

Espresso.

6.

In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks,

Write " For Smuggling Diamonds"

7.

 Finish All Your sentences with "In

Accordance With The Prophecy."

8 .

 Don't use any punctuation

9.

As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than

Walk.

10.

 Order a Diet Water whenever you go out

to eat, with a serious face.

11.

Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is

"To Go."

12.

Sing Along At The Opera.

13.

Go To A Poetry Recital And Ask Why The

Poems Don't Rhyme?

14.

 Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work

Area And Play tropical Sounds All Day.

15.

Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends

You Can't Attend Their Party Because

You're Not In The Mood.

16.

Have Your Co-workers Address You By

Your Wrestling Name, Rock Bottom.

17.

When The Money Comes Out The ATM,

Scream "I Won!, I Won!"

18.

When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running

Towards The Parking lot, Yelling

"Run For Your Lives, They're Loose!!"

19.

Tell Your Children Over Dinner. "Due To

The Economy, We Are Going To Have To

Let One Of You Go."

20.

 And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy

Level Of Insanity.......

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