The Reformed Home Schooler

Being a Christian Man: Part Six In His Community Jun. 26, 2006

Being a Christian Man:
Part Six In His Community

This is the final instalment in my series of Being a Christian Man. What I will be examining is 2 points his daily interaction with his community and how he can serve his community.

The first Question of The Westminster Shorter Catechism is; What is the chief end of man? The answer is; Man’s chief end is to glorify God, and to enjoy him forever. This is a good starting point in considering anything in one's life, how are you Glorifying God and Enjoying his blessings in what you are doing. This is the perspective I will be looking at while examine A Christian's role within his community

Daily Living in One's Community
Keeping in mine your chief end is "To Glorify God..." how do you live in your community? Do you live every day to God's Glory, do you show God's Glory in your daily living? Do you put the beliefs you hold fast to on Sunday in to effect the other 6 days of the week? Are you unabashedly unashamed to proclaim your faith?

As a Christian you need to remember that you are a reflection of our Saviour Jesus to the outside world they will see how you act and treat others knowing you are a Christian and make a judgement about all Christians and about Christ based upon what they see and hear. While you can not be a perfect reflection of Christ you should try and be as accurate a reflection as you can be.

An example I can think of in my own life is while still young in my walk as a Christian I did not always keep the Sabbath as well as I ought to have, one day my wife and I went out to dinner after Church, there I saw an older man whom I respected from our church and his wife eating at the same restaurant, my reasoning led me to believe that since this man whom I had no doubt that he was a Christian was eating out on Sunday then surely there can be nothing wrong with it. This man unknowingly was doing me a great disservice as it gave me a false reflection of what being a Christian was and a bad reflection of Christ, because surely Christ would not have broken the Sabbath, in fact Christ makes it known what activities are permited on the Sabbath in the Gospels.

I can think of many examples where I am not reflecting Christ, when I join in complaining or gossiping about others, when I forward an email joke (or tell a joke) that might be inappropriate, when I make a joke at somebody else's expense, when I play upon my wife's gullibility and lead her on for my own (and sometimes others enjoyment). These are just a few, I know there are many, and I know I need to fix them and repent of them. To better understand ho we are to reflect Christ we need to know what those attributes are. He is Holy, He is Truth, He is Wisdom, His is Love are some that jump right out at me. These are the attributes we are to show. We need to remember Matthew 25:40 "And the King will answer and say to them, 'Assuredly, I say to you, inasmuch as you did it to one of the least of these My brethren, you did it to Me.' " We need to remember also that not only are we doing it to him, but as far as the world is concerned we as Christians are doing it in his name

Serving our Community
Now in serving our community we need to remember Luke 16:13 where Jesus tells us "No servant can serve two masters; for either he will hate the one and love the other, or else he will be loyal to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and mammon" We need to remember that we are to be serving God first and when we serve others. Christians need to be desirous to serve in our communities but we need to make sure we are serving Christ first

We can serve our communities by volunteering, there are many opportunities in every community in this nation where one can serve his community and God in this capacity.

Now I by no means am an environmentalist of the tree hugging persuasion, but as Christians we have a duty to take the time to take care of the Earth that God has given us Dominion over, so we can do our part to maintain our communities by participating in an Adopt a Highway program, or helping to maintain community green spaces.

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Being a Christian Man:Part Five At Church Jun. 24, 2006

Being a Christian Man:
Part Five At Church

This will be the second last series on Being a Christian Man. With the concluding subject of the Christian Man in his community. A friend of mine commented on how I am taking on topics in a blog that really could fill a book, that is why I always include readings from men who are much more educated in these subjects than I am, my hope is to just peak your interest so you might begin to examine things you never considered before and investigate them further on your own. So today's Blog is just a quick overview on what the Christian Man's role is within the church. There are basically two roles a Christian man has at Church A Leadership Role and A Participant's Role. Many of the same ideas I discussed in regards to the Subordinate/Superior role at work can also apply here.

Participant (non Leadership) Role

This might seem like a no-brainer, you need to attend Church regularily, be attentive to the sermon and you're all set right? Unfortunately this is the attitude of many church goers, this lack lustre attempt of church going is damaging to the church. Notice I labelled this Role as Participant, and by this I mean you should be an active participant in the life of the church become involved, if your Church has a Bible Study attend, if it doesn't offer to start one. If we all are feeling good, my wife and I make it a point to make sure we invite somebody over on Sunday following Church (if we have not already been invited out ourselves) Take the time to be involved in the Church, get to know other members, if you see a need of a fellow congregation member and you can fill it do so, and if you can't fill it help them find someone who can. Church is not just a place you attend on Sunday's it is a community of believers, make that the community the best you can by being an active part of it.

Leadership Roles:

There are 3 leadership roles I man can serve in; Pastor, Elder and Deacon. These are formal roles and require a certain amount of qualifications, it should be the goal of every Christian Man to meet the Biblical qualifications (see 1 Timothy 3 and Titus 1) of Elders and Deacons it is a different situation to have a calling to one of these roles.

There are to many good sources available on the internet to not use them to get an historical perspective on these roles so for furter reading the links below will be useful

Christian Eldership Centre: Gives a Good overview on Elders and their Biblical and Historical Significance
The Ruling Elder a Classic by Samuel Miller
The Reformed Pastor by Richard Baxter
Woodruff Road Presbyterian give a great explaination of teh Role and calling of a Deacon

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Being a Christian Man:Part Four Father of His Children Jun. 23, 2006

Being a Christian Man:
Part Four Father of His Children

1. Maker of Laws, Administrator of Justice and Mediator of Disputes
2. Leader of Family Worship
3. Teacher
4. Role Model
5. Father of the Bride (for those with Daughters)
6. Grandfather

Maker of Laws, Administrator of Justice and Mediator of Disputes

As father you are the Government of the house: as the "Parliament" you lay out the rules of the house, as the "Police" making sure the rules are followed, as the "Court System" you administer discipline for infractions (there is no appeal court in this system) as the court you also have the power enforcing of binding arbitration when disputes arise between members of the family.

While in a democracy having one person or even one group of people act as all these roles might create outrage and rebellion, it is important to remember that a family is not a democracy it is a Dictatorship with the power resting in the Father. Though some decisions can be made democratically (such as deciding what to eat, where to go on vacation etc.) and as dictator you are free to seek the advice of those you "Govern", you can even transfer powers to others (such as having a more mature child decide what is appropriate discipline for an infraction they commit) it is as Father that you have the final word with all decisions (and the responsibility for the out come of all decisions good or bad)

So how should this Christian "Dictator" called a father govern? While I stated he is the supreme authority and even as judge their is no appeals court, the father does have to answer to God, so a simple rule is found in Psalm 105:21 "He made him lord of his house, And ruler of all his possessions, " The he is stated at the outset of this Psalm 105 1 - 5 " 1 Oh, give thanks to the Lord! Call upon His name; Make known His deeds among the peoples! 2 Sing to Him, sing psalms to Him; Talk of all His wondrous works! 3 Glory in His holy name; Let the hearts of those rejoice who seek the Lord! 4 Seek the Lord and His strength; Seek His face evermore! 5 Remember His marvelous works which He has done, His wonders, and the judgments of His mouth," So the Lord is who has made this "Dictator" and it is the Lord to whom he has to answer to and seek to serve in this role. So a man should administer Justice in his house and glorifying God and showing God's glory in all his actions.

What this means in practical terms is that a man should set his household up to be a household of God relying upon the Bible when making rules and making decisions. When making rules he should make sure that they are set out in Godly principles, ie. the Rules are pleasing to God and not just oneself.

When adminsitering discipline it should be done in a Godly manner, one where the discipline is appropriate to the infraction. A good example would be your teenage son is angry and punches a hole in the wall, a good discipline for this would be make the son carry out the drywall repair, including purchasing supplies from his allowance, and be picky you want to make sure the repair is not noticeable. Be consistent in discipline, you shouldn't let your mood (good or bad) affect your discipline. Be progressive, ie. a first time offence might be treated differently than if it is the same offence repeatedly (this doesn't mean you let them get away with it the first time, just the actual discipline level would be less) The goal of discipline is to make children self-disciplined.

As arbitrator of disputes you need to have the wisdom of Solomon, your goal should be to have your children be able to resolve their own disputes when they arise.

Leader of Family Worship

Deuteronomy 6:7 is specifically talking about the Mosaic law but is a good principle to take when looking at the responsibility to lead your family in worship: "You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up"

Christian Father's have an obligation to make sure that their children are taught in the ways of the Lord. This means teaching them yourself daily. To often Fathers neglect this duty believing that Sunday School, the Christian School they attend, and Church cover all the bases. This is sadly wrong and is part of the reason why children often do not continue in church when they grow up and leave home.

As a subordinate document to the Westminster Confession of Faith there is the Directory for Family Worship this is a great guideline to how to do Family worship. There are also a number of Great Books on this topic and guides as well, which I will add to the end of today's Blog. Family worship needs to be done daily, consistently and effectively, your aim should be to teach your children about God and help them develop a prayer life, Bible reading on their own and a desire to know Glorify God. Family worship can be as simple as reading a Passage of the Bible after a meal and discussing it and applying it to your lives (at our home we study a book of the Bible, I know others who will do a thematic study) You could also choose to be more formal and have a time where you adhjourn from the supper table and sing Psalms or Hymns and have a more formal teaching time (this can be great for young ones as it can serve as "Church Practice". Try different things to see what suits your family and your family situation best. The 2 key componments that should be there is reading the Bible and Prayer, no matter how simple or elaborate your family worship is.

Teacher

Now much of this role will mix with the role of leader of Family worship, but what I am thinking about is not just Bible Teaching but teaching of daily activities and teaching a vigorous world view. Teaching your children to do everything to the glory of God. As a parent you will find yourself constantly teaching new skills and new information to your children especially when they are young and are curious about the world around them.

Even when you are teaching something like riding a bike which might seem disconnected from God remember to teach them, to thank God and give him the Glory, teach them to think how they are Glorifying God in their actions and thoughts, teach them humility.

Role Model

This is much like being a Teacher but is not something that you set out to do. Children will see the way you act and you should be conscious of this;

• When your child hears you gossip or bad mouth another person what do they learn but gossiping and bad mouthing others is OK.
• If your child sees you run a red light what do they learn, disobeying rules is fine.
• When they see you watch TV shows that might be in appropriate, what do they learn but it doesn't matter what you expose yourself to.
• When they hear you swear they add words to their vocabulary.

But

• When they see you going to God to pray for guidance and help, what do they learn, How to pray and to rely on God.
• When they see you show compassion to someone in need they learn compassion
• When they see you respect your wife and respect them, they learn the importance of family, and to respect and honour others
• When they see you pay attention during church and hear you talking about the sermon they learn that the worship is important and knowledge about the word of God is to be desired

If you are living your life for God your actions should reflect this and your children's actions will reflect this as well.

Father of the Bride (for those with Daughters)

If you have been a Good Governor of your house, have been dilligent to teach the word of God in your home, have taught the necessity to Glorify God in all your actions and have been a consistent Positive Role Model to your children much of work as Father of the Bride will already be done for you, as your Daughter should be seeking a man who is Godly and Upright. Your job should be simple and that is to prepare your daughter for Biblical Courtship introduce this principle to her when she is in her teens explain why it is beneficial.

You also have the duty of Gate Keeper, you should be the one to decide if you want to let potential suitors into her life, it's much easier being a Gate Keeper to keep people out than a Bouncer who has to try and remove people once they are in her life.

You should be seeking to help your daughter(s) find the kind of Godly husband you are striving to be. You should make sure that he has a job and has a desire to work and provide for his family, you should make sure he is a Bible Believing Christian who will rasie your grandchildren to be Bible Believing Christians.

Grandfather

This is when the fun comes and a lot of the responsibility of being a father eases up right? Well no, You might not be the Governor of their households but you should be an adviser to your son(s) and son-in-law(s) helping to provide them with insight that comes from experience, You might not be leading their family worship, but you still need to lead your wife and you might need to help instill this value to se it continue, now you'll be teaching adults and sharing experiences with anotehr genration, as a role model you need to make sure you are consistent and don't give into the grandparent urge to spoil the grandkids, and while you might not be the Father of the Bride you will be the Father-In-Law while in this role you shouldn't be meddling to much in your Daughter's marriage you should be make sure you are there when her or her husband need you.

Todays Reading List

The Family Worship Book: A Resource Book for Family Devotions by Terry L. Johnson
Shepherding a Child's Heart by Tedd Tripp
Withhold Not Correction by Bruce Ray
Tearing Down Strongholds: And Defending the Truth by R.C. Sproul Jr.

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Being a Christian Man: Part Three At Work Jun. 22, 2006

Being a Christian Man:
Part Three At Work

(From A Series I had Posted on http://canadianchristian.blogspot.com last November)

In parts 1 and 2 we looked at the responsibilities of the Christian man in finding a wife and in acting as Biblical head of his household, before going on to his role as Father I thought I would examine his role in the work place.

There are two roles that a person might fulfill in their work place Paul refers to these two roles as Masters and Bonsdservants while these are not terms used today the actual roles are still in existence. The first would be one of authority (employer, manager, supervisor etc.) and the second would be one of submission (employee, junior, assistant etc.) There is actually a third and that would be a combination of 1 and 2 (Middle Management etc.)where you have both superiors and underlings, in this situation you need to exhibit attributes of both the Authority and the Underling.

The Christian Man as an Authority (Master):

In ephesians 6:9 Paul writes; "And you, masters, do the same things to them, giving up threatening, knowing that your own Master also is in heaven, and there is no partiality with Him" He restates almost the exact same thing in Colossians 4:1 What this means for us in today's society that Christians who are "bosses" must treat those under them with fairness, we are not to take advantage of employees or treat them in a disrespectful manner. If we look at the Old Testament we see that "slaves" were considered part of the household they were in in Israel, they were even to have teh mark of the covenant placed upon them. Now we can't go baptising employees nowadays but think about how employees woudl react to a boss who treats them like a member of the his own family nuturing and caring for them. I bet you productivity would increase as well as employee satisfaction. Also think of the witness you would be for our Lord and Saviour.

Now I'm not saying that an employer shouldn't discipline an employee for actions but that discipline should be done as that of a father figure who is disciplining with the goal of correction in a spirit of Love, just as God has disciplined his people throughout the ages. A employer shouldn't allow himself to be walked over but they should be tempered in mercy and consideration for others.

The Christian Man in Submission to Authority (Bondservant):

In Ephesians 6:5 Paul writes: "Bondservants, be obedient to those who are your masters according to the flesh, with fear and trembling, in sincerity of heart, as to Christ; " he also in 1 Timothy tells us; "And those who have believing masters, let them not despise them because they are brethren, but rather serve them because those who are benefited are believers and beloved... " What he is talking about is humbling yourself to those in authority serving them with respect, working for them as you would work for Christ. He also states that you should not take adavntage of your Christian Brother who happens to be over you. Again think if all Christians were to act this way what a witness they would be to their empployers and think how desirous emloyers would be to seek out Christians as employees.

Look what the Ten Commandments say about the Christian at work:

Ok you're going through them in your head and counting them and you can't remember the one that says anything about work. I would of been with you until I looked furtehr at the fifth commandment a great exposition on this was doen by the Westminster Divines when they wrote the Larger Catechism:

Q. 123. Which is the fifth commandment?
A. A. The fifth commandment is, Honor thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee.
Q. 124. Who are meant by father and mother in the fifth commandment?
A. By father and mother, in the fifth commandment, are meant, not only natural parents, but all superiors in age and gifts; and especially such as, by God's ordinance, are over us in place of authority, whether in family, church, or commonwealth.
Q. 125. Why are superiors styled Father and Mother?
A. Superiors are styled Father and Mother, both to teach them in all duties toward their inferiors, like natural parents, to express love and tenderness to them, according to their several relations; and to work inferiors to a greater willingness and cheerfulness in performing their duties to their superiors, as to their parents.
Q. 126. What is the general scope of the fifth commandment?
A. The general scope of the fifth commandment is, the performance of those duties which we mutually owe in our several relations, as inferiors, superiors or equals.
Q. 127. What is the honor that inferiors owe to their superiors?
A. The honor which inferiors owe to their superiors is, all due reverence in heart, word, and behavior; prayer and thanksgiving for them; imitation of their virtues and graces; willing obedience to their lawful commands and counsels; due submission to their corrections; fidelity to, defense, and maintenance of their persons and authority, according to their several ranks, and the nature of their places; bearing with their infirmities, and covering them in love, that so they may be an honor to them and to their government.
Q. 128. What are the sins of inferiors against their superiors?
A. The sins of inferiors against their superiors are, all neglect of the duties required toward them; envying at, contempt of, and rebellion against their persons and places, in their lawful counsels, commands, and corrections; cursing, mocking, and all such refractory and scandalous carriage, as proves a shame and dishonor to them and their government.
Q. 129. What is required of superiors towards their inferiors?
A. It is required of superiors, according to that power they receive from God, and that relation wherein they stand, to love, pray for, and bless their inferiors; to instruct, counsel, and admonish them; countenancing, commending, and rewarding such as do well; and discountenancing, reproving, and chastising such as do ill; protecting, and providing for them all things necessary for soul and body: and by grave, wise, holy, and exemplary carriage, to procure glory to God, honor to themselves, and so to preserve that authority which God hath put upon them.
Q. 130. What are the sins of superiors?
A. The sins of superiors are, besides the neglect of the duties required of them, an inordinate seeking of themselves, their own glory, ease, profit, or pleasure; commanding things unlawful, or not in the power of inferiors to perform; counseling, encouraging, or favoring them in that which is evil; dissuading, discouraging, or discountenancing them in that which is good;correcting them unduly; careless exposing, or leaving them to wrong, temptation, and danger; provoking them to wrath; or any way dishonoring themselves, or lessening their authority, by an unjust, indiscreet, rigorous, or remiss behavior.
Q. 131. What are the duties of equals?
A. The duties of equals are, to regard the dignity and worth of each other, in giving honor to go one before another; and to rejoice in each others’ gifts and advancement, as their own.
Q. 132. What are the sins of equals?
A. The sins of equals are, besides the neglect of the duties required, the undervaluing of the worth, envying the gifts, grieving at the advancement or prosperity one of another; and usurping preeminence one over another.
Q. 133. What is the reason annexed to the fifth commandment, the more to enforce it?
A. The reason annexed to the fifth commandment, in these words, That thy days may be long upon the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee, is an express promise of long life and prosperity, as far as it shall serve for God's glory and their own good, to all such as keep this commandment.

Today's Recommended Readings:
The Westminster Larger Catechism by Johannes G. Vos

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Being a Christian Man:Part Two Husband and Head Jun. 20, 2006

Being a Christian Man:
Part Two Husband and Head
(From A Series I had Posted on http://canadianchristian.blogspot.com last November)

In Part One I gave a quick opinion on the qualities a Christian man should be looking for in a wife, while my list wasn't exhaustive, it was meant to be a starting point. Now as I examine the Christian Man's Responsibility as Husband and Head of their house I intend to point out why above all other roles I will look at afterwards this is the most important.

In 1 Timothy 3 and Titus 1 list being a Husband as the first attribute in the qualifications for church leadership. Paul highlights the roles of the sexes in various epistles (as does Peter) in Ephesians he states that "Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body." Ephesians 5:21-22 So Paul sets out that Men are to be Head of their households and over their wives in submissive authority. Paul uses the model of Christ being the head of the church to establish these roles.

This is something might seem as unfair to the wife and hard on her having to submit to authority, but look what else Paul says later in Ephesians 5 "Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her," now this might seem easy to just have to love your wife, but look how he is to love, "as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her," Now talking unfair and hard , what man is able to keep that standard?

Christ The Ultimate Role Model

As head of the Church, Christ established a role model of how we as husbands are to lead our wives. In his life Christ was always submitting himself to the will of the Father to put the interest of his people (the church) those of his own. He sacrificed himself for the church. He never waned in his responsibility and he never strayed from his task in making sure that "The Church" was sustatained even at the price of his own life. He was forgiving towards his followers even when they doubted or denied him. Christ was the perfect leader who was not motivated by his own interests but by those who serve him.

So let's look at the way a Husband can love his wife the way Christ loves the church:

• Look to the father and follow his will
• Pray for your wife as Christ prayed for the Church
• Be forgiving
• Be giving
• Provide for your wife
• Lead your wife even when it means making sacrifices
• Provide wisdom and guidance to your wife
• Teach your wife in the ways of the God

These are just a few ways, but the thing to remember is how high of a benchmark that Christ has set and realize that we will never be able to love our wives as Christ loved the Church because it is an incomparable love and we will never be the perfect head that Christ was to the church. This is not something that should discoourage us but rather encourage us as men to work haarder on this task as it is our primary responsibility.

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Being a Christian Man: Part One Finding A Wife Jun. 20, 2006

10 Who can find a virtuous wife? For her worth is far above rubies. 11 The heart of her husband safely trusts her; So he will have no lack of gain. 12 She does him good and not evil All the days of her life. 13 She seeks wool and flax, And willingly works with her hands. 14 She is like the merchant ships, She brings her food from afar. 15 She also rises while it is yet night, And provides food for her household, And a portion for her maidservants. 16 She considers a field and buys it; From her profits she plants a vineyard. 17 She girds herself with strength, And strengthens her arms. 18 She perceives that her merchandise is good, And her lamp does not go out by light. 19 She stretches out her hands to the distaff, And her hand holds the spindle. 20 She extends her hand to the poor, Yes, she reaches out her hands to the needy. 21 She is not afraid of snow for her household, For all her household is clothed with scarlet. 22 She makes tapestry for herself; Her clothing is fine linen and purple.
23 Her husband is known in the gates, When he sits among the elders of the land. 24 She makes linen garments and sells them, And supplies sashes for the merchants. 25 Strength and honor are her clothing; She shall rejoice in time to come. 26 She opens her mouth with wisdom, And on her tongue is the law of kindness. 27 She watches over the ways of her household, And does not eat the bread of idleness. 28 Her children rise up and call her blessed; Her husband also, and he praises her: 29 "Many daughters have done well, But you excel them all." 30 Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing, But a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised. 31 Give her 0f the fruit of her hands, And let her own works praise her in the gates.

I was recently asked by a single friend to explore this topic in a blog so I'm taking it up but I decided not just to look at Finding a Wife, but examine the role of the Christian Man in his various spheres and responsibilities.

The passage in Proverbs I quoted is often used as a reading at weddings or in studies about the role of a wife, but as men I think we need to examine it from the blessings it sets out that a wife brings. Now the advice I am offering is not necessarily what I followed when I got engaged, but I must state that I wasn't living a Christian Lifestyle then (nor was my Bride) so I did not understand or completely appreciate the Biblical roles and requirements for Husbands and Wives. Now several years later being secure in my faith I have a different understanding, and know better. (On a side note: I do have to say though I didn't seek out to find the wife mentioned in Proverbs; Our God has blessed me with her.)

What should I be looking for then?

Well as Solomon stated the most important quality in a wife is virtue, which is something internal, an inner goodness of character and being. So often men look for outward beauty not inner virtue. But God requires us to look at the inner character of a woman when looking for a wife, not outer beauty. Further to this you should be seeking:

• A Christian so you are not unequally yoked
• A woman who shares the same ideas about the Biblical roles of husbands and wives ( Ephesians 5:22-23 and 1 Peter 3:1-7 are a great starting point for discussion)
• A woman who has the same view on family size Psalm 127:3-5 and Psalm 128 great starter points for this discussion
• A common opinion on Biblical Childrearing and providing Christian Education
• A woman who shares the same doctrinal views as you so that if you are not already going to the same church you, you will be able to when you're married

Remember that as much as you are seeking a lifetime companion for yourself, you are also seeking the future mother of your children.

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