It's said that no matter where you are, you are always in precisely the correct spot you are meant to be in. We are all here to learn and experience and while we may not always understand why certain choices were made and what the outcome will be or even WHY something had to happen the way it did, it just does.
Last fall, certain events happened, that although they extremely upset me and the balance of my life, they led directly to where my family is in relationship with everyone else at this precise moment in time. It has led me to discussing my life and... frustrations therein of things not going they way I'd like with an ordained minister who has helped me immensely by just being there to listen. It has landed us on the path that took James to his big brother, or mentor if you will and I'm so pleased with that. This has been a hard winter for all of us, but for James especially. Because of his speech delay, he's found it hard to make connections with other children, regardless of age. He does enjoy interaction with other people and he likes our excursions around town be it Church, group activities, even shopping, he's usually happy to jump right in but he has no one special.
A reticence has been noticed in some areas, namely the skills of reading/writing and math. That has us all concerned. Not because he's behind. Behind according to whom? To whom is he being compared to? No, I am concerned because of how it affects him. It breaks my heart as I watch him get frustrated because he can't do something that his siblings can and close his wonderful mind off from learning. Circumstances have made him rather shy and he doesn't like new situations very well. And now, both of his speech pathologists have thrown a new spanner into the works and brought up the idea of Auditory Processing Disorder. Huh? Basically, although his hearing is perfectly normal (we had it tested), things get garbled in their transferance. So for instance, sounds that are similar such as ch and sh sound exactly alike. A lot of background noise is bad. Etc.... And here's the worse part about it. James is not even six yet and testing is not performed until a child is at least eight years of age. Oh, there is a screening test that can be performed that will raise flags if this may be a problem, in which case we at least have some options to work with. And even if he does have this, I can't just let him float around for the next two years doing nothing until we know for sure. Neither can I just let him slide backwards and get even further behind. So it has led to quite a dilema.
How to interact with James? His reading program isn't working. While it came highly recommended by a speech pathologist, James is just having too much trouble with it. I do like the program, and I'm using it successfully with my four year old. It requires me to not only teach the sounds (instead of names) of letters, it has me break the code down to help them reassemble it. It sounds harder than it is but it actually makes quite a bit of sense. I enjoyed reading the book before I started implementing it in my curriculum. But James can not differentiate the sounds and then put them back together. So, for instance pig, with each "sound" said at one second intervals sounds like a garbled mess to him and he looks at me like I have two heads when I try this with him. He can not "see" the word. It is frustrating him no end that he can't do what he thinks he should be able to.
And then there's math. He can not count. He has a phenomenal memory, but he can't get past 5. We have tried games (Hi Ho Cherry-O is his favorite), we've tried songs, etc. For One Two Buckle My Shoe, he has memorized all of the little rhymes, but he won't go past the number 2. :( When we tell him to start it, he'll say the first stanzy no problem. We tell him good job, etc. and then we ask for the next one. He immediately pops off the next rhyme, but not the numbers. No matter how we phrase it, when we ask him for the next two numbers he just will not do it and it leads to lots of frustration on both of our parts (and usually crying and a tantrum on his). For games, he counts his cherries as he moves them around but he rarely gets past 2. It's usually 1, 1, 1, instead of 1, 2, 3 and I just don't know what to do anymore.
The good thing though is that as all good things must come to an end, you also never know when a new door will open full of opportunity. Within the last 48 hours I have learned of two programs that may help my little man precisely in the areas needed. I was told of Fast ForWord and it looks great. It's right up James' alley. Here's the bad news for that one though. It's not offered directly to home schools or individual consumers. :( I have to find a local speech pathologist that partners with the company. Or find out if it's available in the local school district. Sigh... Still, it has given me a small ray of hope and questions to start asking. And then there's math. I was also told of the RightStart math programm today and it looks like it just may work for us. It's not based on rote counting, it's very visual, and based on groups of fives. Unfortunately, it's expensive. The good news though is that the woman who told me about it is willing to loan me hers. Whew... So, at least maybe I'll start seeing progress in that area soon.
Oh, and then there's David. This is just one more path that has been discovered because of past circumstances. Talking to our Church's intern minister has helped a little and as I discussed my frustrations of James' situation and how every thing was leading to a dead end, a plan slowly formed. James needed to get out of the house more, away from his siblings with one on one attention. This is no easy task. His father started taking him out for an hour on Saturday but I still wasn't really seeing the results needed. Oh, they enjoyed their time together but James wasn't getting any happier. He needed someone completely away from the household to give him a break; o recharge his batteries if you will. Everyone loves their families but sometimes you just need to get away from them for a little bit. So started the quest for a mentor. This has been some months in the planning and I'm so pleased that it finally came to fruition. I contacted our Church's youth group and I found a young man interested in spending time with James. And he's awesome. The coolest thing? James loves him. He's seen around Church before, but today is the first time that they actually spent time together. It was at Church so they could be supervised in a controlled and safe area. This way, we could make sure James liked him and was comfortable with him before he started taking James out for an hour or so a week for whatever activities they have planned. Success! James was a bit shy at first, but we got him to greet David properly and in the end, he happily took off outside with him and enjoyed the time spent. And he's been talking about David nonstop for the rest of the day. For a child that is uncomfortable in most situations and can take a while to warm up, the rate of thawing with him was phenomenal.
Finally, I feel that connections are being made and things are starting to look up. Spring has sprung, hope is born anew and there are so many new opportunities waiting.
Hope Abides
Hope abides; therefore I abide.
Countless frustrations have not cowed me.
I am still alive, vibrant with life.
The black cloud will disappear,
The morning sun will appear once again
In all its supernal glory.
~ Sri Chinmoy
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Apr. 4, 2008 - Untitled Comment
Jenny
Wildwood Cottage