One thing I’ve learned over the years is that hard as it may be to change myself, it’s a whole lot easier than changing other people – and more fruitful, too.
 

And yet… it’s a lesson that doesn’t seem to stick nearly as good as it should.

How many times have I persisted in trying to change an attitude in a child when the better route would have been to change my own attitude?

I once tutored a boy who on a Challenging Scale of 1-10 rated a 25. We spent the first 30-60 minutes of many tutoring sessions getting past attitude problems so we could get on to learning a thing or two. I sometimes felt I had done my fair share by spending ten minutes in relaxed mode – general chit-chat, joking around, etc. So when I announced it was time to buckle down and he dug in his heals, it made me angry. I’d given in, I’d made allowances, I’d tried to do it his way, and this was my reward. Why bother at all?

But this boy was going through a lot in his young life. He needed a very long warm-up period. He was often belligerent during that time, no matter how nice or relaxed I was. My job was to change my own attitude and approach. It was utterly useless to try to push change on him, and doing so was no more than willfulness – even self-righteousness -- on my part.

When he consistently saw that I was willing to be patient and that I would respect what he was going through – and yes, that I was not going to go away but that I was also not going to act like him – he started to improve. By changing myself, I helped him change himself.

It works in so many situations and relationships – by changing ourselves, we help others change themselves. I imagine I’ll be learning that lesson over and over for the rest of my life.

Tammy Drennan homeschooled her sons from 1985 through 2003. She now works as a writer and tutor and maintains several web sites and blogs, including www.educationconversation.wordpress.com and www.homeschoolstarter.com

With the new school year starting I can use some fast and easy casserole recipes to help get dinner on the table.  HERE is a free E-Book that is loaded with casserole recipes! 

I am looking forward to trying out Taco Quiche, Spinach and Cream, Broccoli and Cheese and Florentine Casserole just to name a few.  I hope you enjoy it too! 

Happy Homeschooling,

Jamin

Donna asked for something wise and encouraging for this week’s column.  Instead I thought I’d share with you my rambling thoughts about one of my pet peeves.  I don’t know how wise they are, and as to encouraging … well, I’ll leave that up to you to decide.
 

Occasionally someone, upon hearing that I homeschool our son, replies with the comment,  “Oh, I could never do that.”  On at least two occasions this sentiment was uttered by professionals with four-year college degrees in the subject of education.  So.  Here I am with my measly two years of college.  What is my response to this supposed to be?

One of two lines of thinking comes to mind.  The first is that this person thinks I am either deluded or simply full of myself if I think I can do something that they, with a four-year degree in education, cannot.  The other is that they are in awe of me as some sort of super-mom since I am endowed with such skills that they lack.  Neither of which, of course, is true.

What these people usually mean is not that they lack the knowledge or intelligence to educate their own children.  They usually mean something along the lines of either not having the patience or temperament (like I do … yeah, right), or (if they do already have children) that their children would not do well in such an environment.  Fine.  I can live with those things.  But then I wish they would say rather that they would not choose to homeschool, or that homeschooling would not be a good fit for their family instead of making the ludicrous comment that they “could not” homeschool.

The fact is that none of us, in and of ourselves, are able to educate our children the way they ought to be educated.  We all fall sadly short.  There are so many things that are needed for us to be successful in this adventure. 

First we need resources.  Curriculum, how-to books, libraries, the internet, teachers’ stores, etc.  The quantity and variety of what is available can be overwhelming at times, but once we learn to navigate the jungle of information, the help we can receive from these sources can be immense.

Second, we need other parents who have made this journey before and can help us find our way.  Or at least fellow travelers to help bear the burden and just make the trip a lot more fun!  That’s where local homeschool groups, blogs like this one, and online forums like the HOO community that Donna has started, come in.  My prayer is that we will be those things to each other.

Lastly, and most importantly, we need Divine guidance.  Not only to navigate the curriculum jungle.  Not only to make the right kinds of friends that my child and I both need for support and encouragement.  But to fill in the gaps in so many ways where I lack patience, organizational skills, patience, the insight to see what my son needs and how to provide it, and … did I mention patience?  It’s called grace.  I don’t deserve it, but God gives it nonetheless. 

This has become my standard answer to this kind of comment:  “I can’t either on my own.  But if I feel that this is what God wants me to do, and if this is what is best for MY child, then He will help me.  Where God guides, He always provides.”

May God bless all of us as we live this adventure together!

Ellen is a member of "HOOville" and graciously lent a helping hand this week with the column.

Donna Conner lives in Fort Worth, TX with her husband, Glenn, their son, Mike, and their dog, Lucia. Donna and Glenn have been homeschooling their son since the beginning of his education. Mike completes his homeschooling this year. Donna is an artist and has always enjoyed writing. She wrote Homeschooling Only One five years ago, after discovering that there were many other families homeschooling only one child. Her website is devoted to those with only one student in their homeschool, with listings of online resources. You can visit her website at  http://donnac.com and read her blog at: http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/DonnaC

copyright © 2008 Donna Conner ~~ All rights reserved. Content may not be reproduced in any form without written permission of author, except in the case of brief passages embodied in critical reviews and articles where the title and author are listed.

We found out when we met the Gregg and Sono Harris family. They used to live in Dayton, Ohio and Gregg had a single's Bible study at Wright State University.  Gregg led me to the Lord, introduced me the that handsome man in the pic who would later become my husband; Sono discipled me and told me that they homeschool their son. Yep...the cute little kid in the pic is Josh "I Kissed Dating Good-bye" Harris when he was about 8 years old! He was my little buddy and the 1st homeschooled kid I'd ever met.

And the rest...as they say...is history.

What's YOUR story?

Blessings from Ohio, Kim Wolf<><

If you have a dog lover at your house you are going to LOVE this new item we just added to the Schoolhouse Store.

Come along for 10 "playful" lessons on dogs: 10 mini Units for a terrific discounted price!  Brandenburg Studies' The Daily Dog Bundle Set includes all top 10 single unit looks at each breed of dog. Whether it is about a pet you already have, of one you enjoy--these little units are just the ticket to get the school day going. Includes lessons on the following dog breeds: Labrador, Retrievers, Beagles, German Shepherds, Golden Retrievers, Dachshunds, Boxers, Poodles, Shih Tzu, and Bichon Frize.

You will receive the following for EACH of the mentioned breeds:

• Student Lesson
• Student Worksheet
• Handwriting/stationery sheets for various grades
• Coloring page
• Activity or game

You'll be "dog-gone" happy you found this study!

Click HERE to find this item in E-Book format.

Click HERE to find this item in CD format.

Please keep mamasmurf and her family in your prayers. Mamasmurf is battling cancer and as of the last post on her blog she is back in the hospital due to a high fever. This family needs our prayer and support as they continue the fight.

Tia Linschied
Senior Editor of HSB