Busy Mom of Four - Any advice?

Mar. 26, 2009

Any advice?

I am a mother of 3 boys and one girl ages 12, 11, and 9 year old twins. We began homeschooling when my oldest started 1st grade. We homeschooled for 3 years, then enrolled them in public school. I thought I needed to get a job, my oldest didn't feel like he really had any friends, and I was completely burned out. I didn't know many people in my area that homeschooled at the time, and the ones that did were quite a bit younger than my oldest child.

I thought all of my kids wanted to go to school, but when it came right down to it, nobody really wanted to go. However, I had already started a job at the high school and thought it was the best thing to do. The first few months were REALLY tough, but we managed to get through them. Every time I would second-guess my decision, I had plenty of people around me say that this was really the best thing for everyone. There have been many ups and downs along the way, but I had convinced myself that this is what I needed to do.

Now, three years later, I am regretting my decision to re-enroll them in public school. Three of my children want to be homeschooled very badly, but my oldest is now in 7th grade and wants to be around his friends at school. He has confided in me some things that go on there - boys exposing themselves to girls; two 7th grade girls are pregnant; perverse conversations, etc. He is not comfortable with these things, and gets ridiculed by some of the boys because he is so naive and doesn't know much of the perverse terminology used on a daily basis. However, for the most part, he still wants to go to school. He has a few "good" friends that I feel can be trusted, but I am appalled by the things that are going on. He has expressed very little interest in being homeschooled. He will occasionally mention things that he would like about it, but still doesn't seem to have a real desire to do it.

I am torn between allowing him to continue there and homeschooling the other 3, or homeschooling all of them, or homeschooling none of them. I trust my son's judgement and I trust he will make the "right" decisions concerning behavior and attitude at school. However, I know how hard it is to do the right thing, and worry about him being constantly exposed to these things. He has also mentioned that he sometimes dreads going to school and having to listen to the talk and see the behavior he sees. Yet, even after that, he still wants to be there. I don't understand it myself, but as long as he wants to be there, I feel like he will think his feelings don't matter to me if we force him to withdraw from school. I feel like his innocence has already been robbed, and I regret ever sending them back to school. I honestly don't know how much I will help him if I take him back out at this point.

I plan to get involved with a support group/co-op in a nearby town if I do homeschool, but that doesn't even seem to interest him. I haven't just flat out asked him what he thinks about coming home, but I will mention homeschooling next year, and he will say, "I kinda want to go to school." He will do anything that I ask, but I don't want to ask him to give up something if he truly loves it and he continues to make good decisions.

Any help/advice would be greatly appreciated. I think what scares me more than anything is the fact that my daughter will be exposed to some of these things at such a young age. I just want them to retain their innocence as long as possible. 12 years old is such a young age to be exposed to these things.

Thanks in advance!

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Comments

Mar. 27, 2009 - Welcome to HSB!

Posted by nikkisimcox

First , welcome to Homeschool Blogger. Although it is great to take into account the opinion of your children, ultimately you must make the decision on whether or not you will return to homeschooling. Go with your gut instinct. If you feel that they should come home then bring them home. If your son has friends that you trust then encourage him to still talk with them on the phone and maybe have them visit your home. Our children are exposed to so much junk much earlier than we were when we were young. You know in your heart what is right for you and your family so like I said earlier, go with your gut instinct. Just tell everyone who has a negative opinion about it that you are doing what you feel led to do as a Mother. Tell them to respect that decision or keep their opinions to themselves :). I am adding you to my friends list if that is ok. Have a great day! Blessings! ~ Nikki

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Mar. 27, 2009 - Bring them Home......

Posted by PatinTenn

All of them, if you are able. Home is the best place for them.

We have all had our "bad" times in homeschooling, our ups and downs, our "are we doing the right thing" period. But through it all, after reading what you have said, home is the best place for them.

I have 3 daughters that I have been homeschooling for over 11 yrs. My oldest one is now in college with a 4.0 GPA. She has friends and gets along fine in the "real world" as some will call it.

I know it seems hard at times but you can find outlets to get your kids involved with other kids after school hours or such. Look for local sports, or maybe church sports programs in your area.

My oldest played in a marching band that another church offered to homeschoolers. One of mine played soccer for a while.

Check out your public libraries for activities. Just ask around here for things to do.

We are here to help everyone get through these times. But YES !! If you are able, BRING THEM HOME.........They will thank you later on, I promise.

Good luck and stick around here at HSB. There really are good people here to share and help you at this time.

Pat

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Mar. 28, 2009 - Thank you!

Posted by brookie76

Thank you for your responses! You have all made me feel so welcome! I think that I have known for some time what I need to do, now I just need to do it. I plan to let them finish this school year where they are then withdraw them at the beginning of the year next year.

My kids are so involved with the sports programs...I think I have worried that they won't be able to participate in anything if they did not attend public school. However, I found several teams nearby that the kids can be a part of. I have also been worried about college, but it makes me feel much better to know that many homeschoolers actually excel in college. I am so excited and nervous all at the same time! I want them all home, but I am so scared that I am going to somehow ruin their lives! I grew up in public school and my kids have been in it long enough to have a distorted view of education.

I ask for your continued support in prayer as my husband also sees the pitfalls of public school. However, he also attended public school and is concerned about our kids getting a good "education". This is something that we have to agree on and fully support one another. There is a homeschool convention in Springfield April 23-25, so I am planning to attend and get some new ideas.

Thanks again!

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