Jun. 26, 2008 - Our vasectomy reversal story

Let me begin our story by making it clear that I believe God has a plan for each and every one of us.  This is our story,  so please don't take offense if you choose to live your life differently. 

The best place to start is after Sam's birth.  He was our second son and a sweet amazing little boy.  When he was a little over a year old we began to "try" for another.  I use that term loosely because at the time we really believed that if we desired anther child, then God would grant our prayer.  We were so foolish to think that we had much control over another conception.  We rightfully believe now that God is the creator and the one who opens and closes my womb.

So we "tried" for 7 months and could not believe that I wasn't conceiving since our first two boys were conceived almost instantly it seemed.  At this point I stopped praying for a girl only and praye d instead for a healthy child.  We did conceive and we were so excited.  I felt terrible, like many women do, and threw up several times a day every day.  Once the first trimester was over, I began to feel better and we began to househunt.  The day we found out Katie was a girl was also the day we found our house!  It was a joyous day on so many levels. 

A month later we moved in and spent the first few days unpacking and setting up the kitchen.  Good thing we did because on the 7th day in our new home I fell down the stairs and ended up going into preterm labor at 24 weeks.  I spent the next 12 weeks on the couch only getting up to eat or relieve myself.  I didn't drive, go grocery shopping, or even to church.  Any movement, walking etc, would start contractions that would quickly become regular and increase in intensity. 

Katie ended up being born at 39 weeks and weighed in at 9 lbs 2 oz!  She was a great baby.  I was then at home full time with a 3 year old, a 2 year old and a newborn.  I had lost so much muscle tone from laying down for 3 months and I had no energy.  I was drowning and didn't even know it.  I wish now that I had asked for help.  I kept trying to be supermom and was constantly disappointed in myself.  The feeling of being so overwhelmed was terrifying.  I dreaded going to bed at night because I would have to face my day all over again.  Now remember this was a wanted child and we loved our kids but it was really hard. 

I was used to handling my mothering just fine and suddenly I couldn't do it all by myself.  I truly believed it would always be that hard and convinced myself that I was not cut out for being a mother of more than three kids.  I wish I had known that it was a temporary time in my life and yes, it would be over before I knew it. 

When Katie was 6 months old we made the decision permanent and John had a vasectomy.  Now those of you who are parents, you know that when you start to get some sleep and everyone has some time to adjust to a new baby in the house, it is easier to think clearly. 

So as you can guess it only took me a few months more to realize that horror of what we had done.  At first I was stricken because I really wanted more children but as time went on I was convicted that I had messed up God's plan for our lives.  We fixed something on John that wasn't even broken!  I struggled with my thoughts and finally prayed and asked God to forgive me of my sin.  I knew in my heart that we had not given God control over this aspect of our lives and that we needed to make ammends if at all possible. 

About 6 months after the surgery, I approached John with a request.  I wanted him to consider reversing the vasectomy.  I hadn't told him about my change of heart or the hours of research I had done on vasectomy reversals until now. One book that really helped firm up what we believed, A Full Quiver by Rick and Jan Hess.  John had his own revelation as well about our sin.

We had no savings of the caliber it took to pay for a reversal but we went ahead and made the appointment for September 2004, 16 months after the original surgery.  The surgery was deemed a success from an anatomy point of view but only time would tell if we would be blessed again.  God is so good, let me tell you, we conceived 6 weeks after the surgery!  We made records with the doctor's office!  They couldn't believe it!  It is unheard of to concieve in under a year much less in 6 weeks.  Were we so humbled to have been blessed.  We had come to a point in our lives that the surgery was really an act of obedience to God and if He chose to bless us so be it.  We had to reverse the damage that had been done to John and put ourselves back in line with God as our authority.

Also, the Lord was so gracious to us and John was able to secure a new job and we had the whole surgery and birth paid for within the year of the surgery.  All $10,000 of it. I know it is impolite to state actual figures but I want you to know that this was not a simple decision with out sacrifice on our part. 

Since that reversal in September 2004 we have had two little girls who are the light of our lives.  I can't imagine life without them.  God has used them to be a blessing to others and to our family.  They are a walking testimony of God's forgiveness and love. 

We now live our lives free of the worry of when to have children or when to prevent.  We choose to accept what God has in store for us.  We may never be blessed again or we may have lots more, but that is up to God not us.