Aug. 29, 2008 - Not Just Another Quiverfull Blog Entry
There is something to say for long conversations with your best friend. It may take up time in my day when I should be teaching, cleaning, or some other busyness but I really need these conversations to keep me grounded and to help me firm up what I believe and why. (Thanks, Jenn) 
So on to my thoughts for the day. We are a quiverfull family. We truly want as many blessings as God sees fit to give us. I don't know how many that will be, we may even be done, I just know that I find great peace in leaving family planning up to God. He is the only One we seek guidance from in making these decisions. We do NOT look to our peers, the TV, our family, or even to our current circumstances. Actually if we start to "look" like the world around us then we must be doing something wrong. Scary, no,not really. We trust that God has a plan and He knows what is best for us.
Some may see a new pregnancy as inconvienent or even as a terrible mistake, but God makes no mistakes. I believe that God has a set plan for our lives and that includes our family size. If He knows the number of hairs on our heads, how could He not know the number of our offsprinng. Therefore,if He has a set number of children for me I have the choice to delay or completely close the door on His blessings, but I can't increase the number He has already set. I know of several families that love God and greatly wish to increase their family by just one more child, and yet their great desire has yet to have created a child. Only God opens and closes the womb.
Does that make sense? I don't see it as a sin to have a sterilization but you WILL miss out on blessings God planned for you. I actually feel sorry for those who follow through with a sterilization, you don't even know what you might be missing out on. A child is a bigger blessing than a new job, a promotion, a new raise or even winning the lottery.
I wonder about families that choose to limit their famliy size and think about their future. Who will help them as they age and all sorts of issues that may arise as time passes. I know people prevent blessings because of current situations but doesn't God see what is going on in your life today? He knows.
Think about the faith that Noah had in building the ark in an area that had never seen rain with friends and neighbors who scoffed at his faith in an unseen God. He continued to follow the path that God chose for Him and Noah was mightily blessed.
I can't tell the future but I have faith that God knows what He is doing. I do not ascertain to have all the answers, I am still trying to understand this call myself. I just know that putting God in charge of our fertility has given me peace and a greater faith in my walk with Jesus.
I guess I say all this to ask for respect in our choice and those who choose a quiverfull lifestyle. Yes, we know what causes it and yes, we enjoy making these blessings.
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Jul. 20, 2008 - Entry Number 100 . . .
I can't believe this is my 100th blog entry! I know that the first entry was officially last summer, 2007, but I didn't begin to write with commitment until March of this year. I have found that I love to blog. It helps me improve my writing skills, keeps friends and family in touch with us and I hope this blog encourages and inspires other moms to be the best mom they can be.
I love to share parts of my life, it's almost like it keeps me accountable to doing fun stuff with the kids! I know no one will call me on the Thrusday morning and ask why I didn't post a Wednesday Book Pile List. I just feel that sense of obligation that as a writer I have people who want to know am I consistent. I was so surprised to see that I also crossed over the 2,000 site visit mark this week. That is 2,000 people who came to read these words between the months of March and July. I hope they heard about the Jesus that I live for and how He is my Savior. I hope they left my site encouraged and eager to try something new.
If nothing else I blog for myself. I am able to work through issues in my life and then move on. I find a sense of freedom in my spirit after I write. It is alot like prayer. Prayer for me is refreshing and a quiet time as a conversation between God and I.
I hope to have many more blogging anniversaries that I can share with you. The 5,000 visitor, the 500th entry, who knows.
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Jul. 8, 2008 - My 9 year old is awesome!
Tonight, Austin came to me and shared that he has a song in his head that he keeps making up.
Of course I'm sure he is about to sing a song about how he will pull his sisters' hair and other brotherly meanness or about crawdads and tadpoles. I was wrong, so wrong in fact that I had had to apologize to God.
I asked him to share the song with me and he told me a few of the lines.
"He died on the cross for me
He cared just for me"
"He cares about you and he cares about me"
He made up a song about God.
I was dumbfounded! I know he is musically inclined and that he has been saved but I didn't know he was capable of such things. Austin has lots of "issues", as we'll call them for now. This is incredible for him to create a song in order to worship God. He said he has been listening to the music at church and it is like the song "Oh Happy Day" by I don't know who. When I find out I'll update. I really didn't think he was connecting with the music at all. He never participates or even stands when asked to. He doesn't even really focus on the front of the stage.
I am so proud of him. I can't even begin to tell you how this means to me that he is able to do this. I know this may sound a little over the top but Austin is not my "neurotypical" child. Never has been. He is our sensitive, quiet, creative child who struggles with so much of life that most of us take for granted. I will write more as we learn more details but for today I wanted to say that I am so proud of him. I know God is smiling down on Austin right now too.
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Jun. 6, 2008 - Where are you going when you die?
I know, it's a serious title for such a lighthearted and playful blog. I have been thinking about this today and last night though. Let me tell a little about the story.
Yesterday, my best friend's husband lost his mother. No warning, no goodbyes, no more "I love yous". She was a healthy 56 year old woman whom God called home. He needed her yesterday and not a day later. The family is still in shock and disbelief. They thought they had years more to enjoy hot summer BBQs, sloppy grandkid kisses, and long telephone calls after the kids went to bed. They will miss her terribly even though they know she is in Heaven right now. Their one comfort is to know that she is with Jesus.
I say all that to ask again, do you know where you are going when you die? The Bible tells us that there are only 2 options, Heaven and Hell. Do you have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ? That is the only way to Heaven. It really is simple, you acknowledge that you are a sinner and that Jesus died on the cross for your sins, then you pray and ask Jesus into your heart. Jesus knows you, he loves you.
We don't know how long we are here on this Earth and that is why there really is no time to wait and see. Jesus is real and Hell is hotter than a firecracker on the 4th of July.
I know I'm going to Heaven, how about you?
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May. 22, 2008 - In Defense of Modesty and Femininity . . .
My blog, my rant. :)
I am tired of seeing half naked, bosom baring, seams of women's derrieres and bulging midrifs! You only have to shop at Wal-Mart to see what America's youth's bodies look like. I am tired of trying to rush past them so my young sons don't see. Cover up already!
Tuesday, I was at the mall visiting with my best friend, ( hi Jennifer), and we witnessed all sorts of indecency, in the kiddy play area! Not including the 3 year old streaker! Since when have women stopped respecting their bodies and putting themselves on display. I know we have the right to put it all out on display but should we ? Please teach your girls that they are a treasure that they keep covered for their future beloved.
I am taking a stand in honor of modesty for the next 7 days and beyond. I am going to wear skirts and dresses to be a visual reminder that I am a woman not some girl who dresses like a, well you know what.
Katie is excited to see me wearing skirts, it goes along with her thinking that all girls are princesses. I guess it is time to tell her that she really is a princess, she is the daughter of the King, our Lord and Savior.
I hope after this week I can create a new feminine habit of skirt wearing. I feel girly and valuable when I wear them. I love the swish of my skirts as I walk. I love that my beloved loves seeing me in them. I love that my girls get giggly when they see me "all dressed up" and I tell them I am going . . . to do the laundry! Don't get me wrong I think jeans and shorts can be worn modestly. I actually prefer khaki pants over jeans but they do come in handy as a mom.
This is day 2 of my personal challenge and I had Austin take my picture. I'll try to add a picture for every day of my challenge.
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Apr. 27, 2008 - Healing
I am back to my blog. A world where I can write without hesitation. I need a place to pour out my relief today.
Last week I published a video montage about my daughter who is almost one year old. She is a beautiful, healthy, vibrant baby. I am so blessed to have and to hold her. Last summer, a few weeks after I began this blog, my 8 week old, 9 pound baby had surgery. I'm sure the doctors and nurses all thought it was minor but it rocked my world. My daughter had a cystic hygroma, also known as a lymphangioma. A fluid filled benign tumor/cyst that grows and grows. It was a malformation in her lymphatic system and every time she got even mildly sick it would grow. She was 3 weeks old on that Saturday morning that I first saw it. I knew it wasn't there the day before and the sight of this lump made my blood run cold. She is my fifth child so I have seen lots of bumps, lumps and such but none like this.
It took us from that moment at 3 weeks until she was 8 weeks old to have surgery. Can you imagine how sleep deprived we still were when we had to juggle appoinments and learn all about this. I must have spent hours doing research trying to fill in the gaps left by hurried doctors appointments and shell shocked moments not even knowing what to ask. Have you ever been so concerned about something that you didn't even know what to ask?
I am glad that summer is behind us, but I wouldn't trade the experience for anything. I leaned on Jesus so much during those weeks. I clung to Him in prayer in overwhelminng confusion and panic. I was able to tell so many about God's love for us and His mercy.
Anyway, this video has been very cathartic for me. It still brings tears to my eyes to see her and to see me. I remember how scared I was. It is done and I feel refreshed. I am so grateful to all of our friends, family and strangers who prayed for us during that time.
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